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Oh, L. Ron, you're so funny
Captivated as we were with Super Bowl spots featuring Bar Refaeli sharing her precious saliva with a lucky nerd and Amy Poehler using the word "dongle" to promote Best Buy, we almost missed an odd and deliberately cryptic ad urging football fans to let their inquiring minds roam free.
"To the curious, the inquisitive, the seekers of knowledge," intoned a gentle but commanding voice. "To the ones who just want to know about life, about the universe, about yourself. Not cute questions -- big questions, one's that matter."
And who will supposedly answer those questions for you? Why, the Church of Scientology, of course. Radar Online claims the controversial, much-mocked and lately beleaguered religion paid around $8 million to run the minute-long commercial in major markets, including New York and Los Angeles.
"To the rebels, the artists, the free-thinkers and the innovators who care less about labels and more about truth, who believe non-conformity's more than a bumper sticker," continued the ad over shots of attractive people looking intrigued. "That knowledge is more than words on a page. You're young, you're old, you're powerful beyond measure and the fuel of that power is not magic or mysticism, but knowledge. The things you see. The things you feel. The things you know to be true. Sure, some will doubt you. Let 'em. Dare to think for yourself, to look for yourself, to make up your own mind. Because in the eternal debate for answers, the one thing that's true is what's true for you."
Since the Church apparently wants everyone to think for themselves, we suggest you read some excerpts from Lawrence Wright's acclaimed new book on what's going on in L. Ron Hubbard's cupboard, "Going Clear: Scientology, Hollywood & the Prison of Belief." Go here for a fascinating bit on Tom Cruise, here for disturbing tale about John Travolta, along with more info here and here.
Then be sure to check out South Park's classic Xenu-centric episode, "Trapped in the Closet." Watch it here.
We're speechless, but we can't stop watching it
Awkward moment at last night's Billboard Music Awards
More from the Billboard Awards:
Stars work the red carpet
Miguel accidentally kicks two fans
Bulletin: David Beckham is a soccer player, more linkage
More news . . .
Hip, hip hooray! Lady Gaga recovers from surgery, walks in totally insane boots
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Inside the 'Real Hornets Nest of New York'
Video: Miley's still talking about that Maxim 'hottest' award , , ,
. . . And Gwynnie's still talking about the Met gala
Randy Travis doesn't want you to see his 2012 DUI arrest video
How to fix the smug 'n' sassy 'American Idol'
Video: Heidi Klum loves funny men
'Arrested Development' promotional goodness takes a turn for the romantic
Scroll on and marvel as Michael waxes philosophic about a certain Segway-riding, anthropomorphic banana cartoon:
OK, actually Jason Bateman and Will Arnett were just brushing up on their adorability skills between promotional duties in New York on Thursday when they clutched paws and set off to share in the joys of the city streets together."Perfect weather for banana grabbing, lunch time in Times Square tomorrow," Bateman tweeted on Wednesday ahead of a visit to the Bluth's banana stand. "Arnett loves a good banana and nuts in the middle of the day."
Um, clearly. Just look at the expression on his face:
May 26, people. T minus nine ...
Spolier: wit wins again!
Now, George Takei is using his magical powers of awesomeness to respond.
Children, obey George Takei in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Colossians, 3:20. Head over to Buzzfeed to see more great responses to "traditional" marriage supporters from our favorite USS Enterprise helmsman ...
Her costly image kerfuffle ...
A few days back, Rihanna stepped out wearing a shirt that featured a lady enjoying what can best be described as self-gratification. But it appears the chanteuse is a lot pickier when the face on the shirt belongs to her. The New York Post says she's suing British retail behemoth Topshop for $5 million for selling T-shirts emblazoned with her picture. Seems the company never got her permission.
According to an insider, RiRi's team has spent eight months trying to negotiate a settlement over image rights, but Topshop's parent company "offered her $5,000 and said they don't care." (The parent company is apparently the honey badger.)
Here's how the source breaks it down:
"Rihanna's management asked Topshop a number of times to stop selling her image and were told, 'We do what we want.' They buy the pictures from a photographer, but they do not pay the artist licensing fees. Unfortunately, U.K. law does not protect the artist.
What is most offensive for Rihanna is that they basically told her, 'Go to hell. We don't care; we are going to continue selling you.' Topshop is now in the United States. They set up in Manhattan and Nordstrom, but they know better than to do this in the U.S. because they would get in trouble.
Even though the U.K. laws don't protect the artist, she has decided to move forward and sue Topshop. She has spent almost $1 million in litigation at this point. She says it's the principle, and wants to make a statement about it. They are taking advantage of artists. It is just exploitation. What they are doing is wrong."
Rihanna, who early last year enjoyed a five-hour spree at Topshop's flagship store, hired an international law firm to file suit in London, and the case is reportedly in the discovery phase.
A Topshop insider tells the paper that the issue began with a T-shirt from a "third-party supplier. We are aware it is the subject of litigation. … The amount of damages sought has not been articulated anywhere in the claimant's document."
Week of March 24: "It's like a flash mob of stupidity."
Week of March 17: "I'm less threatening now that I'm 40 and not 26-with-an-Oscar."
Week of March 10: "I'm nervous, sweaty and weird."
Week of March 3: "They don't like Givenchy Kanye."
Week of Feb. 24: "A bad word that I can't say that starts with 'F.'"
Week of Feb. 17: "My grandkids always beat me at Rock Band."
Week of Feb. 10: "I'm gay for marijuana."
Week of Feb. 2: "I just want Beyonce to be the mother of my children."
Week of Jan. 27: "I'm just so thrilled I have dental."
It's all in the name of 'The Vampire Diaries' ...
The major downside to dating a co-worker? If the relationship goes belly-up, you still have to see each other. For Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev, that means keeping things professional while stumping for "The Vampire Diaries" at the annual CW upfront presentation for advertisers in New York on Thursday. The exes, who pulled the plug on their three-year romance earlier this month, hit the stage with CW president Mark Pedowitz as he unveiled the network's fall schedule. Dobrev, sheathed in an electric-blue Versace frock, and Somerhalder, in a dubious plaid suit accessorized with his piercing blue eyes, reportedly avoided one another on the red carpet, but they chatted briefly during the onstage appearance. "They were talking," a spy tells Gossip Cop, "but it didn't look anything more than cordial."
