David Beckham plays soccer? Who knew? Apparently, he's been doing this for several years, alongside modeling underpants and appearing on the red carpet with Victoria Beckham. Soccer. . . well, ain't that a corker?

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Oh. Em. Gee. Either Michael and G.O.B. Bluth just found a way to get Lucille off their backs forever (can one siphon martinis into the crawl space of the Aztec Tomb?) or Season 4 of "Arrested Development" heralds a new era of brotherly love.

Scroll on and marvel as Michael waxes philosophic about a certain Segway-riding, anthropomorphic banana cartoon:

OK, actually Jason Bateman and Will Arnett were just brushing up on their adorability skills between promotional duties in New York on Thursday when they clutched paws and set off to share in the joys of the city streets together.

"Perfect weather for banana grabbing, lunch time in Times Square tomorrow," Bateman tweeted on Wednesday ahead of a visit to the Bluth's banana stand. "Arnett loves a good banana and nuts in the middle of the day."

Um, clearly. Just look at the expression on his face:


May 26, people. T minus nine ...


 

Back in March, Buzzfeed asked 20 young folks at the Nation For Marriage rally to explain why they believe that, in the words of Prop 8, "only marriage between a man and a woman is valid."

Now, George Takei is using his magical powers of awesomeness to respond.

Children, obey George Takei in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Colossians, 3:20. 

Head over to Buzzfeed to see more great responses to "traditional" marriage supporters from our favorite USS Enterprise helmsman ...
 

A few days back, Rihanna stepped out wearing a shirt that featured a lady enjoying what can best be described as self-gratification. But it appears the chanteuse is a lot pickier when the face on the shirt belongs to her. The New York Post says she's suing British retail behemoth Topshop for $5 million for selling T-shirts emblazoned with her picture. Seems the company never got her permission.

According to an insider, RiRi's team has spent eight months trying to negotiate a settlement over image rights, but Topshop's parent company "offered her $5,000 and said they don't care." (The parent company is apparently the honey badger.)

Here's how the source breaks it down:

"Rihanna's management asked Topshop a number of times to stop selling her image and were told, 'We do what we want.' They buy the pictures from a photographer, but they do not pay the artist licensing fees. Unfortunately, U.K. law does not protect the artist.

What is most offensive for Rihanna is that they basically told her, 'Go to hell. We don't care; we are going to continue selling you.' Topshop is now in the United States. They set up in Manhattan and Nordstrom, but they know better than to do this in the U.S. because they would get in trouble.

Even though the U.K. laws don't protect the artist, she has decided to move forward and sue Topshop. She has spent almost $1 million in litigation at this point. She says it's the principle, and wants to make a statement about it. They are taking advantage of artists. It is just exploitation. What they are doing is wrong."

Rihanna, who early last year enjoyed a five-hour spree at Topshop's flagship store, hired an international law firm to file suit in London, and the case is reportedly in the discovery phase.

 

A Topshop insider tells the paper that the issue began with a T-shirt from a "third-party supplier. We are aware it is the subject of litigation. … The amount of damages sought has not been articulated anywhere in the claimant's document."

 

 

 

The major downside to dating a co-worker? If the relationship goes belly-up, you still have to see each other. For Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev, that means keeping things professional while stumping for "The Vampire Diaries" at the annual CW upfront presentation for advertisers in New York on Thursday. The exes, who pulled the plug on their three-year romance earlier this month, hit the stage with CW president Mark Pedowitz as he unveiled the network's fall schedule. Dobrev, sheathed in an electric-blue Versace frock, and Somerhalder, in a dubious plaid suit accessorized with his piercing blue eyes, reportedly avoided one another on the red carpet, but they chatted briefly during the onstage appearance. "They were talking," a spy tells Gossip Cop, "but it didn't look anything more than cordial."

 

Beyoncé has bounced back from the dehydration and exhaustion that forced her to cancel her concert Tuesday night in Belgium. She hit the stage Wednesday in Antwerp styling a sparkly Ralph & Russo peplum bodysuit that didn't appear to be concealing much in the belly region, despite rampant speculation that she's pregnant with baby No. 2.

 

"I just have to say, I feel so good to be on this stage," a smiling but emotional Bey told the crowd. "I have the best fans in the world. … Now my doctors told me not to perform, but there was no way in the world. I just have to say that y'all give me so much inspiration, and I just want to thank you guys."

 

After nixing Tuesday's show, the chanteuse posted a handwritten note of apology, telling ticket-holders, "I've never postponed a show in my life. It was very hard for me. I promise I will make it up very soon. I'm sorry if I disappointed you. Thank you for your concern. I'm feeling much better now and I'm ready to give you a great show."

 

Watch video of her onstage mea culpa below, along with more pics from the concert …

 

OK, one comment: Damn. Now if only Anthony Mackie would take off that sweatshirt. See more pics here.