FEATURED POST
Plus, no thongs, underboob or 'puffy' genital regions

If CBS has anything to say about it, there won't be any cheeky displays or mammary mishegas at Sunday's Grammy Awards. The network has sent out a "wardrobe advisory" to representatives of everyone from Katy Perry to Rihanna reminding them to ensure "buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered" during the broadcast (male breasts are apparently just fine).
The pearl-clutchers at CBS are particularly concerned about the boob region, especially "bare sides or under curvature," which they deem "problematic." There's also a warning about the "visible puffy bare skin exposure" in the "genital region," which may or may not be a fancy way of saying "no camel toe, please."
Here's the memo in all its glory, along with a few outfits from Grammys past that would surely cause a few conniptions …
CBS Program Practices advises that all talent appearing on camera please adhere to Network policy concerning wardrobe.
Please be sure that buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered. Thong type costumes are problematic. Please avoid exposing bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack. Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts is also problematic. Please avoid sheer see-through clothing that could possibly expose female breast nipples. Please be sure the genital region is adequately covered so that there is no visible "puffy" bare skin exposure.
Please avoid commercial identification of actual brand name products on T-shirts. Foreign language on wardrobe will need to be cleared. OBSCENITY OR PARTIALLY SEEN OBSCENITY ON WARDROBE IS UNACCEPTABLE FOR BROADCAST. This as well, pertains to audience members that appear on camera. Finally, The Network requests that any organized cause visibly spelled out on talent's wardrobe be avoided. This would include lapel pins or any other form of accessory.
Pink takes a spin in illusion netting in 2010.
Birdman welcomes heiress to 'the family'
... and Lil Wayne may be partially to blame. While attending Cannes because of her peripheral "role" in Sofia Coppola's "The Bling Ring" -- certain segments were filmed at her house -- Paris Hilton told Showbiz411 that she has a new album coming out this summer. The lucky label? Cash Money Records.
In fact, as the Huffington Post notes, it sounds like the disc may actually be coming out on Weezy's Cash Money imprint, Young Money Entertainment: both Weezy and Nicki Minaj are apparently involved. (Paris and Wayne also collaborated on "Last Night," back in November.)
"This is a lot different than my first album," Paris said, referring to her eponymous, not sorta-not-terribly received 2006 foray into pop. "It's really going to be house music."
DJ Afrojack is reportedly producing the masterpiece. And with any luck, that means better beats will replace some of the inane, stream-of-consciousness club-speak that appeared on her 2012 music video, "Drunk Text."
Cash Money exec Birdman tweeted a confirmation of the news on Wednesday, writing, "Welcome@ParisHilton to tha Family.RichgangRichgirl.YMCMB."
A release date has yet to be issued, but those of you planning to vacation-rave in Ibiza this summer will have the opportunity to enjoy some pre-release heiress rawk while you're there: Paris says she has a DJ residency on Spain's famously electronica-filled party island.
On the other hand, maybe watch this little slice of amazing before you book that flight ...
And, lest we forget ...
Check out the actor on the set of 'The Amazing Spider-Man 2'
Our Spidey sense is tingling! Does this footage show Spider-Man taking on the Rhino? Looks like it -- especially after glancing back at these pics of Paul Giamatti dressed up as the supervillain.
A round-up of Mitch Hurwitz's best advice for Sunday ...
1.) For the love of GOB, watch the shows in order.
Hurwitz tweeted something to this effect shortly after locking the last episode a few days ago:
"I pretty quickly realized everything here is about the order of telling the stories, that there will be shows where you find out a little bit of information and then later shows where you revisit the scene and you find out more information — and that's not fun in reverse," Hurwitz tells Vulture.
2.) Yes, it all fits together, but all Bluth and no life makes you a dull viewer:
"Don't feel obligated to watch it all at once. It's a comedy! It's not like 'Lord of the Rings.' Comedy takes a lot out of you," our fearless leader tells Vulture.
He elaborates on Time.com: "I really very quickly stopped making this as shows and started making it as an eight-and-a-half hour 'Arrested Development.' My recommendation would be to sort of take it as a whole. But my other recommendation would be that people don't feel compelled to watch it all at once."
3.) A differently formatted show allows a different focus. Bluth family jewels, for instance:
"I would say the chief way in which it's not like the old series is we are not frantically jumping from character to character which did create a wonderful rhythm and charm in the old series," he tells Time, referring to the original 20 minute, 45 second-long TV episodes. "You never had time to get tired of anybody, you know, because as soon as GOB had done a magic trick, you were on to Tobias taking a picture of his testicles with his camera in the bathtub. And this show would more be about the other elements of that bath. How did his testicles react to the cold air when he got out of the tub, for instance?"
4.) Expect as much out of Season 4 as you might expect of a meal cooked by Lindsay Bluth Funke:
"... Anything we can do to lower expectations would just be fantastic," Hurwitz tells Time. "In fact, if I had one quote to offer it would be, 'Don't make a big deal about it.'"
OK, Mitch, we have a deal -- as long as you don't let Lindsay make "hot ham water" ever again ...
MORE: Geeking out on ... 'Arrested Development'
Brad Pitt's dark days, and more linkage

What? Brad Pitt used to be a drugged-up college drop-out? Yup, and he's telling you all about it in the new issue of Esquire.
More news:
The Germans seize control of Bieber's monkey
January Jones will never spill on her baby daddy
Is another key cast member leaving 'SNL'?
Khloe K. gets a threatening letter from Andrew Cuomo
'X Factor' judges table gets two new faces
Turns out Beyonce might not be pregnant after all ...
Barbara Walters' daughter is in big trouble
Ouch! Jesse James chops off finger
Mea culpa, multiple 'how to help' tweets follow politically-minded gaffe

Welcome to What Not To Do on Twitter, the Natural Disaster Edition.
On Monday afternoon, "Daily Show" writer and co-creator Lizz Winstead thought she was being her usual funny self when she alluded to news of the IRS scandal in a tweet about the deadly tornado in Oklahoma.
"This tornado is in Oklahoma so clearly it has been ordered to only target conservatives," she posted.
Then, to Winstead's obvious dismay, reports clarified the actual horror that the tornado had caused. She deleted the pseudo-funny tweet, but not before many of her 75,000-plus followers saw it.
While some called for her ouster from the "Daily Show," others used the tweet as an example of the "sick & twisted mind" behind one of the most popular liberal series on TV. Conservative journalist Michelle Malkin, meanwhile, kept her critique simple, awarding Winstead the crown for "assclown of the day."
The comic eventually responded to the backlash with an apology:
Although she left one related joke on her Twitter feed ("how long has Obama known about this tornado?"), she later acknowledged she deserved the bad vibes that continued coming her way, writing, "It's worth giving me s---. I was an idiot." Winstead has since taken a hiatus from the jokester tweets, opting instead to share information about the various charity organizations working with victims in Oklahoma.
#betterlatethannever ...
Porn fans eager for Kunis' X-rated debut
File under: Dubious honor.A new poll from Sex Tracker and Vivid Entertainment (NSFW and super NSFW, respectively) indicates that America's porn-watching masses would rather see Mila Kunis at the center of their next X-rated flick than any other Hollywood starlet.
(In other news, the lady sitting behind Mila in the above photo obviously ignored our NSFW warning about the sites that published the poll.)
Kunis, 29, scooped up 38% of the vote, according to the Daily News, with last month's winner, Jennifer Lawrence, coming in at a respectable second with 23% of voters naming her as the No. 1 potential porn pick.
Kind of an odd result, given that the last time we saw Mila on the big screen, she looked like this:

Other names in the mix included Sofia Vergara, who scored 15%, Angelina Jolie at 13% and Selena Gomez, who snagged 10%.
But given this group of porn-lovers' apparent taste for body paint, our money's on J.Law to shoot back up in the ranks of next month's poll.
After all ...

Want to carry the 'Downton' valet's suitcases and read him Shakespeare? It'll cost ya ...

Attention, "Downton Abbey" superfans: Do you have what it takes to ease poor Mr. Bates' aching heart/leg/conscience? Warning: What it takes is probably in the neighborhood of $20,000.
At the fundraiser for the Origin Theatre Company on May 30, one lucky bidder will cough up five digits to spend a day living the life of a post-Edwardian era servant. But rather than jump, Pavlovian style, at the sound of a bell rung by a Crawley, this faux minion will act in service to Brendan Coyle, who plays Lord Grantham's disabled and troubled valet on the show.
Page Six reports that the theater company sold the same prize at last year's auction (for $20K), and the winner "got to read poetry to Coyle in a horse-drawn carriage in Central Park."
This year's pseudo-serf may also win the luxury of enjoying a meal with Coyle at Claridge's in London.
If you need some inspiration to drop all that dough for a day of servitude, this Bates-getting-kicked-while-he's-down "Downton" montage should give the heart strings a requisite tug:
Celebs with gnarly sunburns, more linkage
More news . . . .
Most men his age wish they looked as 'bloated' as Keanu at Cannes
No surprise: Seth MacFarlane won't host Oscars 2014, but recommends Joaquin Phoenix for the job (gee thanks, pal)
Zach Galifianakis, who we love now, is taking an 87-year-old woman he rescued from homelessness to 'The Hangover 3' premiere
See who won big at the Billboard Music Awards . . . besides Taylor Swift
More Billboard buzz: Miguel's energetic dance moves weren't a smash with these two fans
Thank you for the beautiful music, R.I.P. Ray Manzarek
Middle-age 'Brady Bunch'ers reunite at amusement park
Trace Adkins wins 'Celebrity Apprentice,' but isn't giving up singing career
Jon Stewart is loved in China, too


