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Say what? Quotes from previous weeks
Week of Feb. 2: "I just want Beyonce to be the mother of my children."
Week of Jan. 27: "I'm just so thrilled I have dental."
See her skull-bonking weapon of choice ...
After so many years on the road, the grind may be getting to Rihanna. On Monday night, she once again left fans angry and frustrated when she turned up more than two hours late for the Birmingham, England, stop on her Diamonds world tour. The all too familiar delay came after she apparently partied into the wee small hours with model Cara Delevingne. Perhaps RiRi's tardiness explains why one audience member was reluctant to let her go once she was within touching distance. 
While belting out "We Found Love," the chanteuse waded into the Birmingham crowd and greeted front-row fans. Bodyguards and a metal barrier protected her from the screaming masses, but she still couldn't break the grip of an overzealous admirer. She tried to pull away before quickly bonking the offender on the noggin with her microphone, producing a thud and freeing her to strut off.
Watch the incident from two different but equally annoying angles below:
Leo dances, Mariah bares skin and more linkage ...
Can't ... stop ... watching ... Leo ... dancing. If any part of "The Wolf of Wall Street" is as good as Leonardo DiCaprio cutting a rug, save us a seat.More news ...
Can we just agree that Justin Bieber shouldn't be allowed to drive ever?
Mariah Carey tweets monokini-fueled selfies. Is this the ugliest bathing suit ever?
And here we thought drinking her own urine was strange. Turns out Ke$ha gets up to some odd behavior when she can't sleep
Amanda Bynes somehow persuaded a plastic surgeon that her nose needed tweaking
Any guesses on the "real truth" that Katy Perry has on Russell Brand?
Johnny Depp thinks he handled his split from Vanessa Paradis like a grownup (unlike that time he changed his Winona Forever tattoo to Wino Forever)
Lady Gaga, is that really you?
You know that novelty movie t-shirt gathering dust in your drawer? Wear it, because you never know who you might randomly bump into on the street. Just look what happened to this lucky guy from Tel Aviv ...

Random thoughts get 'Arrested Development'-inspired voiceover
Ron Howard, master narrator, can apparently turn any lame soundbyte of your internal monologue into the makings of a perfect/ridiculous TV show.In order to prove his secret skill, Howard used his "Arrested Development" voiceover style to read a pile of random tweets from the show's fans. And, perhaps struck with a Lindsay Bluth Funke sense of entitlement, he opted to go off script as much as he liked, extemporizing from tweets like this:
“I wish I had a #burger #ADNarrates.”
[Zzzzz ...]
To this:
”Out of all the things Camille could have had an Oscar-winning director narrate, she chose lunch.”
[Tehe]
Not that all the users who sent in tweets were without senses of humor. We're lookin' at you, tweeter with a vodka rocks and a slice of toast on the brain ...
And surprise, surprise: She's gone ...
If Charlie Sheen were being evaluated on the same scale as, say, a kindergartner (which is a stretch -- a kindergartner is far more mature), his report home might note that he doesn't play well with others. Amid rumblings of trouble with his "Anger Management" co-star Selma Blair, she's been dropped from the show.
"We are confirming that Selma Blair will not be returning to 'Anger Management,'" the studio said in a statement on Tuesday afternoon (via The Wrap), "and we wish her the very best."
The move comes hours after TMZ reported that Sheen had warned producers that if they didn't fire Blair pronto, he'd quit.
Charlie's title-inappropriate tantrum was apparently touched off by his belief that Selma had complained to the powers-that-be about his work ethic and tardiness. On Monday, he informed producers that he wanted them to begin the "termination process" immediately, meaning they had to formulate "an exit strategy" for Blair's character.
He reportedly threatened to ditch the remainder of his 100-episode "Anger" order from FX if they didn't give in to his canning demands. The show is about halfway through its order. Word is, Sheen's contract will net him somewhere between $75 million to $200 million, roughly 40 percent of the show's profits (yes, kids, life ain't fair).
You'll recall that when Charlie got the boot from "Two and a Half Men" in 2011, the network cited his public dissing of the show's creator, Chuck Lorre, along with his "physical appearance, inability to deliver lines, inability to collaborate creatively with staff and crew, inability to work with the executive producers, inflammatory comments poisoning key working relationships, and frustration of the show’s creative environment by the public spectacle of his self-inflicted disintegration."
Selma wasn't on the "Anger Management" set on Monday, when execs were said to be trying to calm things down (to no avail), and when asked by paparazzi about the situation, she said, "I don't know anything."
... and for our next understatement ...
Attention, journalism broadcast students: We humbly submit this "Morning Joe" segment, oh let's call it, "How Not to Act on TV ... Ever," for your study purposes.While attempting to interview Russell Brand about his Messiah Complex stand-up tour, Katty Kay, Brian Shactman and Mika Brzezinsk alternately talk over their guest, neglect to ask about his tour and repeatedly refer to him in the third person "as if I'm an extra-terrestrial," as Brand, who constantly asks them to please call me "Russell" not "him," politely puts it.
At first the comic takes the situation as a challenge. Visibly egged on, he gestures to the computer-bees working away behind him and when told they're handling social media duties, he innocently jokes, "they're tweeting themselves silly."
But the "Morning Joe" crew can't handle even the most miniscule of jokes. Brzezinsk tries to cut the interview short, asking if anyone has any more questions "for him" because "I'm nervous." Schactman, offended that Brand teased him about his tie, can barely say anything unrelated to "I can't understand his accent."
And holy crap. Is Katty Kay calling Russell "Willie Brand" then giggling in reference to the Willie Brand who was court martialed for his alleged role in the deaths of two prisoners in Afghanistan?
"Who is Willie?" Russell asks before completely taking over the show, promising upcoming looks at Edward Snowden's motives and more. Kay can't answer, of course, because her head is on the desk in front of her. So we'll let you take a look and decide for yourself.
Oof.
He also joins the Prancercise craze with new video …
One year ago, John Mayer kvetched to Rolling Stone about the "humiliation" he suffered over "Dear John," Taylor Swift's unflattering ode to their rumored late 2009/early 2010 fling. "It made me feel terrible," he said of the song. "Because I didn't deserve it. I'm pretty good at taking accountability now, and I never did anything to deserve that. It was a really lousy thing for her to do."
And what better way to take accountability than to write an answer song. He drops enough clues in his new ditty, "Paper Doll," for amateur sleuths to conclude that it is indeed about the confessional chart-topper.
Take this passage: "You're like 22 girls in one / And none of them know what they're runnin' from / Was it just too far to fall? / For a little paper doll."
Swift, of course, recently released the breezy tune "22." And in "Dear John," she notes, "I'll look back in regret/ How I ignored when they said, 'Run as fast as you can.'"
Mayer also mentions "a dress of gold and blue," a possible nod to this "Dear John" line: "The girl in the dress cried the whole way home/ I should've known."
The kicker comes toward the end of "Paper Doll," when he croons about how "someone's gonna paint you another sky." In "Dear John," Swift bleats, "You paint me a blue sky/ And go back and turn it to rain."
In short, Taylor got off pretty easy ("Paper Doll" isn't exactly "You're So Vain," after all), although this is probably a good time to point out that Mayer scoffed that "Dear John" was "cheap songwriting. ... It's abusing your talent to rub your hands together and go, 'Wait till he gets a load of this!' That's bulls---."
Hypocrisy or good marketing? You be the judge.
Taylor, for her part, has said all's fair in love and songwriting.
"If I'm gonna write songs about my exes, they can write songs about me," she shrugged earlier this year. "That's how it works. I'm not gonna complain about it. I'm not gonna sit there and say, 'I'm the only one who can write songs about this relationship.' It's fair game."
Mayer, meanwhile, appears to be making an effort to keep things lighthearted, whatever the source material. The lyric video for "Paper Doll" features Prancersising viral sensation Joanna Rohrback. Ooh and ahh as you watch ...
Hit "more" for the full lyrics to "Paper Doll," and dissect to your heart's content:The actor suffers for his art on the "Lone Ranger" set ...
Amid all the controversy over Johnny Depp's portrayal of Tonto to Armie Hammer's titular masked man in the forthcoming retelling of "The Lone Ranger," one important fact has been downplayed: He risked his life for the role. During filming, the actor was tossed from his horse and trampled by its hooves.
The incident is part of a newly released, behind-the-scenes featurette that highlights the incident and the aftermath. In the clip, the crew can be seen rushing to Depp's aid and a medic is called. Later, the former Sexiest Man Alive shows off the bruises on his chest as a female crewmember gently strokes his boo-boos.
"Can I tell you what the positive thing is? That my coccyx didn't take it," Depp says, adding, "Chicks dig a broken bone." Watch for yourself:Here's how he described the incident to David Letterman: "There was one moment in particular where it got unpleasant. The horses had been running all day, so they weren't interested in slowing down at all. My horse decided to jump a couple of obstacles in the desert, but the horse was unaware that the saddle was fake, to give the effect that I was riding bareback. So when we came down, the saddle slipped and I went to the left and grabbed the mane of the horse. And then the next thing I saw were these very muscular horse legs, this death machine, and one word popped into my head: 'Hooves.'" I figured fear would kick in but it didn't, I was very calm." "The Lone Ranger" hits theaters July 3.
Exactly which lines are being blurred here?
Last week, Robin Thicke's soul-heavy, R&B-soaked "Blurred Lines," became his first No. 1 hit on the Billboard Hot 100. But some critics are looking more closely at the lyrics and the now banned video for the song. To them, it seems more than a little icky that America is currently rocking out to an anthem about the blurred lines between what a mostly naked lady says about sex and what she actually wants.
The naked ladies in question here are Emily Ratajkowski, Jessi M’Bengue and Elle Evans, models whose boobs are on full display throughout the unrated version of the video.
As The Daily Beast points out in a piece asking if the song is too "rapey," it's a little odd that Thicke and his collaborators, T.I. and Pharrell, get to wear pants, shirts and even jackets while the objects of their desire (key word: "objects") dance around with farm animals wearing nothing but flesh-toned thongs.
And sure, maybe we're desensitized to onscreen female nudity in situations where men remain clothed. But check out the lyrics:
"I know you want it / You're a good girl / Can't let it get past me," Thicke croons. "I know you want it / But you're a good girl / The way you grab me / Must wanna get nasty."
So basically, you "must wanna" have sex with Robin Thicke, you're just not saying so?
The tune gets nastier as it goes on, courtesy of a graphic Ying-Yang Twins-esque verse from T.I. and more lots of lines about how Thicke hates "these blurred lines" and knows "you want it."
"Basically, the majority of the song (creepily named 'Blurred Lines') has the R&B singer murmuring 'I know you want it' over and over into a girl's ear," gripes blogger Lisa Huyne, via The Daily Beast. "Call me a cynic, but that phrase does not exactly encompass the notion of consent in sexual activity … Seriously, this song is disgusting — though admittedly very catchy."
When Thicke posted the unrated, nudity-filled version of the video on his Facebook page, he was greeted with a storm of negative comments, mostly from users with female names.
Comments ranged from calling the video "a waste of energy and talent" to "[it's] disgracing ... to use naked models" to "Robin, you're an intelligent man, I believe you can do way better."
Another user, meanwhile, tried to stick up for Thicke, writing, "all you plastic pseudo feminists moaning about the nudity of the women in this video seem to have missed the fact that they look like they actually really enjoyed themselves."
Yikes.
Still, some critics are shrugging their shoulders on the implications of both the words and video.
Dusting off his SAT word skills, a male writer at the Village Voice referred to the whole thing as "frolicsome ribaldry."
And former Idolator writer Maura Johnston has reportedly said that because Robin Thicke isn't threatening -- and because the topless model-version of the video is a tried and true a PR stunt -- Thicke gets a pass here.
As for Thicke's own rationale, he told VH1 that the controversy was all part of the fun.
"We pretty much wanted to take all the taboos of what you're not supposed to do," he explained, "... bestiality, you know, injecting a girl in her bum with a five-foot syringe — I just wanted to break every rule of things you're not supposed to do and make people realize how silly some of these rules are."
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