Week of March 31: "Me and Johnny Depp had eyeball sex..."
Week of March 24: "It's like a flash mob of stupidity."
Week of March 17: "I'm less threatening now that I'm 40 and not 26-with-an-Oscar."
Week of March 10: "I'm nervous, sweaty and weird."
Week of March 3: "They don't like Givenchy Kanye."
Week of Feb. 24: "A bad word that I can't say that starts with 'F.'"
Week of Feb. 17: "My grandkids always beat me at Rock Band."
Week of Feb. 10: "I'm gay for marijuana."
Week of Feb. 2: "I just want Beyonce to be the mother of my children."
Week of Jan. 27: "I'm just so thrilled I have dental."
Plus, peep Martha in her modeling days
She looks pretty great at 71, but in her early 20s, Martha Stewart was something of a bombshell. With her wide-set eyes, strong jaw and trim figure, young Martha began her career in the public eye not as a home living entrepreneur but as a model.
And a pretty hot one, at that:
In this weekend's Parade, Stewart, 71, looks back on her life's highs -- like her new book, “Living the Good Long Life: A Practical Guide to Caring for Yourself and Others” -- and lows -- like her tenure in prison -- as well as what lies ahead.
Asked if she knew how gorgeous she was as a model, Stewart humbly replies that she had no idea.
“I knew I was good enough to get $60 an hour, which was the going rate at the time,” she says. “I wasn’t the cover girl. I wasn’t Suzy Parker. But I should’ve been. Maybe if I had had somebody encouraging me ... But then I got married when I was 19.”
As for those lows, Stewart maintains she's innocent regarding the stock sale that landed her in prison for insider trading in 2004:
“I don’t consider that a mistake. It was a normal thing that people do every day. They sell stock. What was a mistake was the way it was handled. I’m not supposed to say this, but I was not guilty of any crime. I became a target because I was a strong and a rich woman who had been very successful.”
Her comments about personal hero Hillary Stewart are even more surprising. After lauding Clinton’s “inner strength” and work as secretary of state, she says “the best thing of all was the way she treated her husband.”
Say what? Yep. Stewart was 100% behind Hillary’s decision not to end her marriage to Bill Clinton in the wake of the Monica Lewinsky scandal. Ever the pragmatist, Stewart explains her perspective in terms of both the personal and the political:
“Hillary was married to the president. Walking out on him when he’s stupid would’ve shown weakness and self-centeredness. She saved him, her self-respect, and her daughter. She didn’t cut the family asunder. As a result, she gained his respect forever.”
Looking ahead, Stewart hopes to continue building her empire. She wants to “build a freestanding store” to avoid more potential disputes like the one between J.C. Penney’s and Macy’s over the right to sell her products.
And she already has a title for a forthcoming autobiography. “I’ve led such an interesting and complicated life, she says, “that it’s getting to be time to record it.”
We put Matthew's 'Mud' musings in the way-back machine ...
With only "a few snakes and two donkeys” as his neighbors, Matthew McConaughey set out on a solo mission into the Arkansas woods to prepare for his role as Mud, the Southern wilderness-exiled fugitive title character in his dark new film.
He recounted the experience in a recent New York Post interview -- one of many new press opps in which the actor is praised for taking on meatier roles and reinventing himself as a serious actor.
But before we agree that "Mud" made Matthew a new man, let's take a closer look at what he's said about the buzz-y flick. 'Cause we don't know about you, but something around here smacks of déjà vu.
Take, for example, the end to the Arkansas expedition story, as relayed to the Post via "Mud" director Jeff Nichols: "He spent two or three nights out there," noted Nichols. Eventually, “We had to go get him.”
Now, why does that sound familiar ...
Oh, right. "Failure to Launch."
In an appearance on NPR's "Fresh Air" this week, the 43-year-old thespian discussed with typical introspection what his character, Mud, goes through internally in the film.
“[Mud is] really getting his knowledge from the stars, from the river, from Mother Nature," he told Terry Gross.
Nope. Never seen that before. ... Except for in "Fool's Gold."
He continued: “[It's] inevitable that's where you're gaining your knowledge of how the world works, because you're just engrossed in the middle of Mother Nature."
... Even when you're engrossed in a "Magic Mike" strip-tease.
And earlier this year at Sundance, Matthew described his character thusly to Moviefone: "There was a lot of superstitious speak. For Mud, his logic was astral. It was signs. Here’s a guy who’s been stepping in s--- for so long, he thinks it’s good luck to step in s--- now. And here’s a guy who doesn’t live in the logical world -- he lives in the clouds."
Yet when those astral beings in the clouds last came down to Earth-- in the "Angels in the Outfield" remake -- guess who was right there on the precipice?
Ultimately, though, Matthew said it best to Elle: “Mud’s an aristocrat of the heart."
And, well, yeah. We have a déjà vu for that deep thought, too.
And likely ended up with sand in very uncomfortable places ...
Beyoncé is all about corporate synergy. Her recent Pepsi commercial was not only an homage to all things Queen B, but it also premiered her song "Grown Woman." Now, she's using her deal with deal with H&M to tease more new music. On Thursday, Bey released a 90-second ad for the affordable clothing retailer set to "Standing on the Sun," a ditty off her forthcoming album.
The video itself is in keeping with the spirit of H&M: It's trendy yet economical. Beyoncé, sporting a variety of bikinis and other summer wear, cavorts on a beach in the Bahamas while flinging sand and surf, and whipping a variety of blond and black wigs back and forth. If you like to watch the chanteuse in slow motion, this is the video for you.
The clip concludes in what may or may not be a nod to the Ewok party scene from "Return of the Jedi." As fire blazes around her, the chanteuse smolders in a headdress with a post-spinal surgery feel to it.
And because we can't get enough of Beyoncé and her lovely armpits, here are more shots from her H&M campaign ...
New report claims 'Today' host sought his own 'crisis experts,' post-Curry
Maybe Matt Lauer realizes that self-deprecating one liners about his floundering reputation can only go so far to heal the festering wound that is his image since the Ann Curry ouster.
“Matt’s wanted to bring in an outside P.R. agency,” an insider told the New York Post this week, alleging that Lauer is looking for help with damage control as he continues to face bad press, largely due to a widely held belief that he played a major role in Curry’s firing.
“He lost faith and has wanted a crisis team in place,” the source added. “Since they haven’t hired an outside agency, he’s taking matters into his own hands.”
That may explain Lauer’s awkward jokes about himself at a recent event for the UJA Federation of New York. “These days, I only get asked to host dinners if polio is busy. Yup, I have a lower Q rating than polio right now,” he said at one point. Later, he referenced a specific negative story, quipping, “Who can forget when [Katie Couric] was co-host of the ‘Today’ show? She got a colonoscopy on TV ... two weeks ago, I got one in the New York Times.”
And the Times isn’t the only one scrutinizing his role on the show and his now defunct working relationship with Curry. There was the nearly 8,000 word expose on the state of the (non)union on the show from New York Magazine. And the time much maligned talk show host Chelsea Handler bluntly told Lauer: “you have a worse reputation than I do.” (She later claimed the “NBC brass” told her to “back off Matt Lauer.”)
So how does all of this add up? Should Lauer finagle himself a "crisis expert" or two? Should the show or the network do it for him?
One expert the Post checked in with said a network “should never” let talent hire its own PR agency.
Another saw things differently. “Matt should be seen as a much more sympathetic figure,” he offered. “They’ve made some real mistakes, obvious ones, and they have no plan. As soon as you become the highest-paid anchor, you have a target on your tush.”
Is her new 'do a knockout or not?
We haven't seen much of Scarlett Johansson lately. She's been keeping a low profile over the last year or so, dating a random French journalist, inking on extremely questionable tattoos and channeling an old Hollywood blonde. But on Tuesday, ScarJo surfaced on the Los Angeles set of "Captain America: The Winter Soldier" sporting a new coppery bob, along with pillowy pink lips and a slimline figure. How do her stick-straight titian locks stack up against her previous appearances as spy-slash-leather-jumpsuit enthusiast Natasha Romanoff, a.k.a. Black Widow (in the execrable "Iron Man 2" and the sublime "Avengers," respectively)? You be the judge …Eyes on the hair, people. Scarlett enjoys a bouncy, wavy mane while tied to a chair in "The Avengers" ...
Her long, curly mane doesn't look all that real or human-like in "Iron Man 2," although it was still the most believable thing that movie.
Plus, Joffrey gets the Bieber treatment …
We can probably all agree that Daenerys Targaryen would make a better ruler of the seven kingdoms than that enfant terrible, King Joffrey. She's got it all -- fire, dragons, a good heart. And what does Joffrey have?
Little more than a nasty ego and an unfortunate way of reminding one brilliant Tumblr user of another young man with way too much power:
Anyway, while we await new developments in Daenerys' and Joffrey's respective rule, let's get a leg up on our Dothraki and High Valyrian, shall we?
For starters, you've been pronouncing Khaleesi wrong this whole time. It's technically “KHAH-lay-see,” not “ka-LEE-see.” We know this thanks to Vulture's recent chat with language creator David J. Petersen (and we thought dragon whisperer sounded like a cool title), who developed all the grammar, pronunciation rules and -- in about 4,000 cases -- original words for the Dothraki language used on the show.
The only reason khaleesi ends up being pronounced wrong by so many characters, Petersen explains, is that the producers decided to go with what George R. R. Martin’s “Game of Thrones” book series readers were probably already saying.
So how does one get a gig like language creator, anyway? It seems Peterson landed the job after earning a master’s degree in linguistics and putting together a 300-plus page pitch about his ideas for Dothraki.
“The application process favored those of us who were unemployed at the time, which I was,” says Petersen, who evidently also boasts an encyclopedic knowledge of video game lore, which he wields with compellingly nerdy wit.
Once Dothraki was in place, Petersen faced another challenge: Valyrian, which has been compared to their version of Latin. In one of the most memorable scenes from Season 2, Daenerys gives a bad-ass speech in High Valeyrian -- a feat that did not come without heavy lifting. Peterson first translated the script into the language -- which had rarely been used on the show before this episode. He then sent actress Emilia Clarke audio of him reading her lines in the new tongue. After plenty of practice he was pleased to note that today, Clarke “really does speak High Valyrian like a natural.”
It's a skill we can't imagine might be possessed by that twerpy King Joffrey or his monkey-quarantining present day counterpart ...
Score one more for Daenerys. All hail "KHAH-lay-see"!
See her get the crowd on its feet ...
When Tilda Swinton isn't napping in a glass box or starring in a mind-blowing David Bowie video, she's busy being all Swinton-y, which is another way of saying amazing. Last weekend, she paid tribute to the late Roger Ebert by leading a large crowd in a joyful dance-along to the Barry White classic "You're the First, the Last, My Everything." The occasion was the late film critic's annual Ebertfest in Chicago, and the actress boogied down at the urging of Roger's widow, Chaz Ebert, who heartwarmingly grooved solo onstage. Swinton, who called the musical interlude a "spiritual service," enthusiastically bopped around the audience and ended up forming a makeshift conga line. "That's why she’s one of our favorite festival guests," said a smiling Chaz. "There's nothing better than having 1,500 people dancing along to Barry White."