Oooh, naughty. Maybe. Honestly, we have no idea what's going on ...
It may not have the appeal of "D--- in a Box," but what "(I Wanna) Channing All Over Your Tatum" lacks in catchiness it makes up for in goofy suggestiveness. Four months after "White House Down" co-stars Tatum and Jamie Foxx debuted the song on Jimmy Kimmel's post-Oscar special, it now has a really weird video, with cameos from Miley Cyrus, Olivia Munn, Gabourey Sidibe and the late night host's longtime nemesis, Matt Damon.
Are you as confused as Kimmel about what the ditty is about? The new dad and reigning Sexiest Man Alive raps an explanation: "Channing Tatum on the mic, I know you're kind of confused/ We all be singing out my name making sexual moves/ But if you're gonna go and Channing then you better be warned/ Going Channing on the Tatum makes the babies be born/ Respect the name my mama gave me and don't be no fool/ Please be smart before you Channing, also stay in school."
Adds Foxx, "I see a pretty lady sippin' on a drink / I gaze into her eyes, then our glasses go clink / And I know/ I wanna Channing all over her Tatum! … When ya splashing in the water and you think you might drown/ Channing tosses you his noodle and he calms your ass down. … He just Channing'd all over your Tatum."
Oh, and Miley, sporting a teeny, Channing-emblazoned crop top, somehow ends up pinned under a vending machine. Just watch it.
See her skull-bonking weapon of choice ...
After so many years on the road, the grind may be getting to Rihanna. On Monday night, she once again left fans angry and frustrated when she turned up more than two hours late for the Birmingham, England, stop on her Diamonds world tour. The all too familiar delay came after she apparently partied into the wee small hours with model Cara Delevingne. Perhaps RiRi's tardiness explains why one audience member was reluctant to let her go once she was within touching distance.
While belting out "We Found Love," the chanteuse waded into the Birmingham crowd and greeted front-row fans. Bodyguards and a metal barrier protected her from the screaming masses, but she still couldn't break the grip of an overzealous admirer. She tried to pull away before quickly whacking the offender with her microphone, producing a thud and freeing her to strut off.
In a since-deleted Twitter exchange, a witness noted, "[Rihanna] just hit someone with her mic on accident haha oops." RiRi, living up to the name of her "Unapologetic" album, reportedly responded: "Purpose! That b---- won't let me go."
Watch the incident from two different but equally annoying angles below:
Leo dances, Mariah bares skin and more linkage ...
More news ...
Can we just agree that Justin Bieber shouldn't be allowed to drive ever?
Mariah Carey tweets monokini-fueled selfies. Is this the ugliest bathing suit ever?
And here we thought drinking her own urine was strange. Turns out Ke$ha gets up to some odd behavior when she can't sleep
Amanda Bynes somehow persuaded a plastic surgeon that her nose needed tweaking
Any guesses on the "real truth" that Katy Perry has on Russell Brand?
Johnny Depp thinks he handled his split from Vanessa Paradis like a grownup (unlike that time he changed his Winona Forever tattoo to Wino Forever)
Lady Gaga, is that really you?
You know that novelty movie t-shirt gathering dust in your drawer? Wear it, because you never know who you might randomly bump into on the street. Just look what happened to this lucky guy from Tel Aviv ...
Random thoughts get 'Arrested Development'-inspired voiceover
In order to prove his secret skill, Howard used his "Arrested Development" voiceover style to read a pile of random tweets from the show's fans. And, perhaps struck with a Lindsay Bluth Funke sense of entitlement, he opted to go off script as much as he liked, extemporizing from tweets like this:
“I wish I had a #burger #ADNarrates.”
”Out of all the things Camille could have had an Oscar-winning director narrate, she chose lunch.”
Not that all the users who sent in tweets were without senses of humor. We're lookin' at you, tweeter with a vodka rocks and a slice of toast on the brain ...
And surprise, surprise: She's gone ...
If Charlie Sheen were being evaluated on the same scale as, say, a kindergartner (which is a stretch -- a kindergartner is far more mature), his report home might note that he doesn't play well with others. Amid rumblings of trouble with his "Anger Management" co-star Selma Blair, she's been dropped from the show.
"We are confirming that Selma Blair will not be returning to 'Anger Management,'" the studio said in a statement on Tuesday afternoon (via The Wrap), "and we wish her the very best."
The move comes hours after TMZ reported that Sheen had warned producers that if they didn't fire Blair pronto, he'd quit.
Charlie's title-inappropriate tantrum was apparently touched off by his belief that Selma had complained to the powers-that-be about his work ethic and tardiness. On Monday, he informed producers that he wanted them to begin the "termination process" immediately, meaning they had to formulate "an exit strategy" for Blair's character.
He reportedly threatened to ditch the remainder of his 100-episode "Anger" order from FX if they didn't give in to his canning demands. The show is about halfway through its order. Word is, Sheen's contract will net him somewhere between $75 million to $200 million, roughly 40 percent of the show's profits (yes, kids, life ain't fair).
You'll recall that when Charlie got the boot from "Two and a Half Men" in 2011, the network cited his public dissing of the show's creator, Chuck Lorre, along with his "physical appearance, inability to deliver lines, inability to collaborate creatively with staff and crew, inability to work with the executive producers, inflammatory comments poisoning key working relationships, and frustration of the show’s creative environment by the public spectacle of his self-inflicted disintegration."
Selma wasn't on the "Anger Management" set on Monday, when execs were said to be trying to calm things down (to no avail), and when asked by paparazzi about the situation, she said, "I don't know anything."
... and for our next understatement ...
While attempting to interview Russell Brand about his Messiah Complex stand-up tour, Katty Kay, Brian Shactman and Mika Brzezinsk alternately talk over their guest, neglect to ask about his tour and repeatedly refer to him in the third person "as if I'm an extra-terrestrial," as Brand, who constantly asks them to please call me "Russell" not "him," politely puts it.
At first the comic takes the situation as a challenge. Visibly egged on, he gestures to the computer-bees working away behind him and when told they're handling social media duties, he innocently jokes, "they're tweeting themselves silly."
But the "Morning Joe" crew can't handle even the most miniscule of jokes. Brzezinsk tries to cut the interview short, asking if anyone has any more questions "for him" because "I'm nervous." Schactman, offended that Brand teased him about his tie, can barely say anything unrelated to "I can't understand his accent."
And holy crap. Is Katty Kay calling Russell "Willie Brand" then giggling in reference to the Willie Brand who was court martialed for his alleged role in the deaths of two prisoners in Afghanistan?
"Who is Willie?" Russell asks before completely taking over the show, promising upcoming looks at Edward Snowden's motives and more. Kay can't answer, of course, because her head is on the desk in front of her. So we'll let you take a look and decide for yourself.
He also joins the Prancercise craze with new video …
One year ago, John Mayer kvetched to Rolling Stone about the "humiliation" he suffered over "Dear John," Taylor Swift's unflattering ode to their rumored late 2009/early 2010 fling. "It made me feel terrible," he said of the song. "Because I didn't deserve it. I'm pretty good at taking accountability now, and I never did anything to deserve that. It was a really lousy thing for her to do."
And what better way to take accountability than to write an answer song. He drops enough clues in his new ditty, "Paper Doll," for amateur sleuths to conclude that it is indeed about the confessional chart-topper.
Take this passage: "You're like 22 girls in one / And none of them know what they're runnin' from / Was it just too far to fall? / For a little paper doll."
Swift, of course, recently released the breezy tune "22." And in "Dear John," she notes, "I'll look back in regret/ How I ignored when they said, 'Run as fast as you can.'"
Mayer also mentions "a dress of gold and blue," a possible nod to this "Dear John" line: "The girl in the dress cried the whole way home/ I should've known."
The kicker comes toward the end of "Paper Doll," when he croons about how "someone's gonna paint you another sky." In "Dear John," Swift bleats, "You paint me a blue sky/ And go back and turn it to rain."
In short, Taylor got off pretty easy ("Paper Doll" isn't exactly "You're So Vain," after all), although this is probably a good time to point out that Mayer scoffed that "Dear John" was "cheap songwriting. ... It's abusing your talent to rub your hands together and go, 'Wait till he gets a load of this!' That's bulls---."
Hypocrisy or good marketing? You be the judge.
Taylor, for her part, has said all's fair in love and songwriting.
"If I'm gonna write songs about my exes, they can write songs about me," she shrugged earlier this year. "That's how it works. I'm not gonna complain about it. I'm not gonna sit there and say, 'I'm the only one who can write songs about this relationship.' It's fair game."
Mayer, meanwhile, appears to be making an effort to keep things lighthearted, whatever the source material. The lyric video for "Paper Doll" features Prancersising viral sensation Joanna Rohrback. Ooh and ahh as you watch ...Hit "more" for the full lyrics to "Paper Doll," and dissect to your heart's content:
The actor suffers for his art on the "Lone Ranger" set ...
The incident is part of a newly released, behind-the-scenes featurette that highlights the incident and the aftermath. In the clip, the crew can be seen rushing to Depp's aid and a medic is called. Later, the former Sexiest Man Alive shows off the bruises on his chest as a female crewmember gently strokes his boo-boos.
"Can I tell you what the positive thing is? That my coccyx didn't take it," Depp says, adding, "Chicks dig a broken bone." Watch for yourself:Here's how he described the incident to David Letterman: "There was one moment in particular where it got unpleasant. The horses had been running all day, so they weren't interested in slowing down at all. My horse decided to jump a couple of obstacles in the desert, but the horse was unaware that the saddle was fake, to give the effect that I was riding bareback. So when we came down, the saddle slipped and I went to the left and grabbed the mane of the horse. And then the next thing I saw were these very muscular horse legs, this death machine, and one word popped into my head: 'Hooves.'" I figured fear would kick in but it didn't, I was very calm."
"The Lone Ranger" hits theaters July 3.