Scientology vagues it up in strange Super Bowl ad

Captivated as we were with Super Bowl spots featuring Bar Refaeli sharing her precious saliva with a lucky nerd and Amy Poehler using the word "dongle" to promote Best Buy, we almost missed an odd and deliberately cryptic ad urging football fans to let their inquiring minds roam free. 

"To the curious, the inquisitive, the seekers of knowledge," intoned a gentle but commanding voice. "To the ones who just want to know about life, about the universe, about yourself. Not cute questions -- big questions, one's that matter." 

And who will supposedly answer those questions for you? Why, the Church of Scientology, of course. Radar Online claims the controversial, much-mocked and lately beleaguered religion paid around $8 million to run the minute-long commercial in major markets, including New York and Los Angeles. 

"To the rebels, the artists, the free-thinkers and the innovators who care less about labels and more about truth, who believe non-conformity's more than a bumper sticker," continued the ad over shots of attractive people looking intrigued. "That knowledge is more than words on a page. You're young, you're old, you're powerful beyond measure and the fuel of that power is not magic or mysticism, but knowledge. The things you see. The things you feel. The things you know to be true. Sure, some will doubt you. Let 'em. Dare to think for yourself, to look for yourself, to make up your own mind. Because in the eternal debate for answers, the one thing that's true is what's true for you."

Since the Church apparently wants everyone to think for themselves, we suggest you read some excerpts from Lawrence Wright's acclaimed new book on what's going on in L. Ron Hubbard's cupboard, "Going Clear: Scientology, Hollywood & the Prison of Belief." Go here for a fascinating bit on Tom Cruise, here for disturbing tale about John Travolta, along with more info here and here.

Then be sure to check out South Park's classic Xenu-centric episode, "Trapped in the Closet." Watch it here.