Shia LaBeouf overshares, plagiarizes

Shia LaBeouf is here to remind you why you should never write anything in an email that you wouldn't want shared with the whole world. After it was announced on Wednesday that he was exiting his imminent Broadway debut in a revival of "Orphans" over the usual "creative differences," he decided to break down exactly what those differences were. His method: leaking private emails exchanged with co-stars Alec Baldwin and Tom Sturridge, along with the play's director, Daniel Sullivan. As you'd expect from a thespian of the "Transformers" oeuvre, Shia's words are dramatic and emotional. Turns out most of the ones from his mea culpa mail to Baldwin are also lifted directly from an Esquire piece on how to be a man. Read and compare ...

Here's the text of Shia's email to Alec:

My dad was a drug dealer. He was a s--- human. But he was a man. He taught me how to be a man. What I know of men, Alec is-

 

A man is good at his job. Not his work, not his avocation, not his hobby. Not his career. His job.

 

A man can look you up and down and figure some things out. Before you say a word, he makes you. From your suitcase, from your watch, from your posture. A man infers.

 

A man owns up. That's why Mark McGwire is not a man. A man grasps his mistakes. He lays claim to who he is, and what he was, whether he likes them or not.

 

Some mistakes, though, he lets pass if no one notices. Like dropping the steak in the dirt.

 

He does not rely on rationalizations or explanations. He doesn't winnow, winnow, winnow until truths can be humbly categorized, or intellectualized, until behavior can be written off with an explanation.

 

A man knows his tools and how to use them -- just the ones he needs. Knows which saw is for what, how to find the stud.

 

A man does not know everything. He doesn't try. He likes what other men know.

 

A man can tell you he was wrong. That he did wrong. That he planned to.

 

He can tell you when he is lost. He can apologize, even if sometimes it's just to put an end to the bickering.

 

Alec, I'm sorry for my part of a dis-agreeable situation. - Shia.

 

And here's an excerpt from Esquire's "What Is a Man?" from 2009:

A man is good at his job. Not his work, not his avocation, not his hobby. Not his career. His job. It doesn't matter what his job is, because if a man doesn't like his job, he gets a new one.
 
A man can look you up and down and figure some things out. Before you say a word, he makes you. From your suitcase, from your watch, from your posture. A man infers.
 
A man owns up. That's why Mark McGwire is not a man. A man grasps his mistakes. He lays claim to who he is, and what he was, whether he likes them or not.

Some mistakes, though, he lets pass if no one notices. Like dropping the steak in the dirt.

He does not rely on rationalizations or explanations. He doesn't winnow, winnow, winnow until truths can be humbly categorized, or intellectualized, until behavior can be written off with an explanation. 

A man knows his tools and how to use them -- just the ones he needs. Knows which saw is for what, how to find the stud, when to use galvanized nails.

A man can tell you he was wrong. That he did wrong. That he planned to. He can tell you when he is lost. He can apologize, even if sometimes it's just to put an end to the bickering.

We're also pretty sure a man wouldn't try to pass off another's work as his own, but if he did, he'd fess up to doing it. Anyhoodie, for more on Shia's Broadway kerfuffle, read on ...

"Orphans" director Sullivan, who had reportedly grown concerned with Shia's "performance choices in the emotionally volatile and ultimately tragic role," sent a resigned response to his manly email ...

Alec Baldwin, meanwhile, offered a surprisingly gracious adieu ...

Shia and fellow thespian Tom Sturridge gave each other a mutual tongue bath ...

Tom's email: "Are you still here? I don't really know what to write. I went in this afternoon and they were all there… producers, etc. I said my piece but they didn’t really listen. I don't understand what has happened here. Maybe you have had a more enlightening conversation with someone by now. All I can say is that it truly was an honour to work with you even if it was only for a few days. I was stunned by the work you were doing, the performance you were giving. I think you lifted the play to a place high than maybe it even deserved to be. I hope this isn't the last time we work together and I especially hope it isn’t the last time we see each other. Hope you're ok brother – Tom"

And from a week earlier, when Shia took out a temper tantrum on an innocent door ...

Shia also shared his audition tape, apparently to prove how good he was before it all went off the rails ...