One Direction globe-trots and frolics in new video of old Blondie song

Do you like One Direction? Do you like seeing pretty, non-threatening young men acting silly for charity? Then you're gonna love the band's new video for their chart-topping Comic Relief single. The song is a cover of Blondie's "One Way or Another," with the Undertones "Teenage Kicks" tossed in (never mind that most of the parents of 1D fans weren't yet born when those tunes came out). The vid features Harry Styles, Niall Horan, Zayn Malik, Liam Payne and Louis Tomlinson having fun (or, more accurately, FUN!) everywhere from New York to Africa to No. 10 Downing Street. The novelty proboscises they're sporting are in honor of Red Nose Day. Meanwhile ...

In today's edition of "What did you think was gonna happen?" Lindsay Lohan ruins a borrowed designer dress.

Hey, that totally wasn't Miley Cyrus posing on Instagram in a cloud of pot smoke, according to Miley.

What feud? Katy Perry wished Rihanna a happy 25th birthday on Wednesday, tweeting the heartfelt message, "HAPPIEST 25TH BIRTHDAY to my baby girl @rihanna! I wish I could b there drinking Mai-Tais & telling haters to eat a [male part of the anatomy that rhymes with 'hick'] w/u!" Awwww.

Gun control advocates, take note: If ever there was a way to persuade the NRA to rethink its stance on that whole second amendment issue, here it is: Renowned idiots Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt own an arsenal.

Seeing what's become of erstwhile Smashing Pumpkins frontman Billy Corgan fills us with both melancholy and infinite sadness.

Easily angered M.I.A. is angry at the Grammys because she believes they ripped off her incredibly complicated onstage design concept of lighted squares.

will.i.am has terrible (and terribly expensive) taste in cars.

Eager to see where LeAnn Rimes will tweet nonstop, keep a really close eye on Eddie Cibrian and strategize against her haters (even those not named Brandi Glanville)? Behold the house that a cheating scandal built. Speaking of Brandi, she tells Howard Stern that Eddie is just with LeAnn for her money, although we're not sure how much money one makes playing casinos and a Biloxi-based Hard Rock.  

Accident-prone Kelly Osbourne sprained her ankle but avoided landing face-first in a public toilet, so bright side.

Horizontally and proportionally challenged lovebirds Hayden Panettiere and Wladimir Klitschko are back on.

Lisa Marie Presley may have cut ties with the Church of Scientology. Praise Xenu.