Who is Taylor Lautner?

The Vulture asks the above query, and, you know what? It's a really good question.

After actually finding myself in a conversation with a friend last night, attempting to explain why the young ones like "Twilight" and then pausing to say, "I do not understand, however, this Taylor Lautner fellow. Why would anyone be lured away from the clever bad boy Brit, I mean I am really Team...Oh my god! Someone find a hammer and brain me with it!"

The Vulture tries to explain it all to you:

"At all of 18, Taylor Lautner has appeared in films that have grossed over one billion dollars at the box office, and just by threatening to doff his shirt, he can reliably elicit shrieks and heart palpitations in a significant segment of the female population. But is the money and the screaming for Lautner, or for his Twilight character, Jacob Black? He’s become wildly in demand, with studios abruptly anointing him as the next big thing, yet he’s a bit of a cipher.

 

OK kids. I can't keep it in. Spolier alert! This is how "Inception" ends.

(Sorry...it was too easy.)

 

To cheer up a dreary Wednesday. Lovely Carol Lynley reacting to young Jack Lemmon making some kind of side quip in the wonderfully titled movie -- "Under the Yum Yum Tree." Oh, early 60s screen shenanigans! Instant happiness!
 

Speaking of the new "Spider-Man" and with Adrien Brody opening Friday in "Predators," I have written a piece regarding unlikely action stars.

From the, innovator, of sorts, Tobey Maguire to my favorite of late, Robert Downey Jr., things have changed. (That being said I'm still massively excited for "The Expendables.")

Here's what I said about Downey in both "Iron Man" movies. He's the best of the bunch.

Though he was fantastic in the criminally under-seen "Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang" just a few years before, was nominated for his scene-stealing performance in "Tropic Thunder," and certainly boasted an impressive, sometimes brilliant gallery of performances long before that, "Iron Man" managed to be Robert Downey Jr.'s career defining role. And he's perfect as playboy Tony Stark, mainlining his massive talents into what could have been a ho-hum superhero franchise.

Instead, it's a witty, smart, pleasurable picture, and one, thanks to Downey (and especially in "Iron Man 2," where he allows Stark to be something of a heel), even a little dark. He impressively buffed up for the role, displaying an enviable body for a guy who was, in real life, a wreck from drugs not so long before this . And then there's his devilish charm and rapid-fire repartee (particularly with Gwyneth Paltrow) that's refreshingly old Hollywood. Because of Downey, the "Iron Man" movies feel like the "Ocean" films meet the early, dryly humorous James Bond pictures meet William Powell's "Thin Man" series.

 

With the news of Andrew Garfield as the new Peter Parker, Movieline writes a nice piece informing future "Spider-Man" viewers of three essential Garfield performances.

The young man is incredibly talented.

Here's one, a great one, from the short list:

"'Boy A'" (2007)

"Garfield is simply stunning in this 2007 British TV-movie (distributed theatrically in the U.S. the following year), and he even nabbed a Best Actor BAFTA Award for his performance as Jack, a shy, tentative man with a dark secret. In his youth, Jack fell under the sway of a troubled friend who involved him in a girl’s murder, and after spending his teenage years in prison, he’s finally released under a new identity, hoping for a fresh start.

 

How can this be?

James Bond, stalled? "Airbender," part two -- let's give it an almost affirmative go. What?

007 gets the sack, and not in the way he's accustomed to (yeah...funny)? Something ain't right in the world.

According to AICN via Screen Rant, "all development on the next James Bond  film has been canceled as MGM continues to deal with its financial problems."

Really? The piece goes on to say that we shouldn't be shocked, but, excuse me for being a little greenhorn here -- I am. 007 has to endure the, "Sorry. Who cares about your franchise. Sure, it's one of the only actually interesting long running franchises in the history of cinema, but we're broke!"

Screen Rant continues:

"This news shouldn’t come as a shock to anyone who has been following MGM’s ongoing troubles. In April, we learned that production on the film was delayed indefinitely.

 

I ask you, what is wrong with people?

I'm talking about Lindsay Lohan. And I'm talking about the creepy, sexist, witch burning glee some people have expressed over this young woman's sentencing yesterday. Or, the Hedda Hopper hat wearing, finger wagging moralizing -- as if the world is a better place when an actress is thrown in the clink. 

Let's all calm down about this. OK? 

I'm choosing compassion because, last time I checked, some guy who coaches high school basketball in Iowa could find himself in a similar predicament, minus the TMZ streaming court cam. And don't talk to me about her being a spoiled, coddled star, or her getting special treatment. She's been working longer than most of the bloggers criticizing her. Since childhood. And she wasn't given a break. If you agree with the sentencing and find her irresponsible, fine.

But must you mock her tears? Let's get classy and old school about this, shall we?

I wrote these words over three years ago, after Lohan's first brush with the law, but can you imagine if, say, young Patty Duke, who suffered from bipolar disorder, or the luminous Tuesday Weld, who was drinking before she was a teenager, had to endure the vampirism of TMZ, rabid paparazzi, nasty celebrity bloggers, and internet snark? Knowing all you know about them now, would you have danced on their supposed demise? Marilyn Monroe had flashbulbs blasting in her face, and when we see that footage, do we think: "She deserves it!"? Well, perhaps many do. And perhaps many did. But not at the instantly accessible level that is available to readers and columnists today. Perhaps people had time to collect their thoughts for a moment and not lose their cool about something that is just, well, sad.

But Lohan...well. That's a different story. Why?

As I wrote before:

"I don't entirely care what so-and-so movie writer from whatever newspaper or Web site feels about Lindsay's partying or sexy lifestyle (there's a strong strain of misogyny in this kind of critique). The real question is, can she act? And if so-and-so movie critic doesn't think she can act, then I can only wonder whether he or she is judging the actress for her offscreen behavior. If critics assessed Jack Nicholson for his offscreen behavior, he might not have the Oscars he so richly deserves. And I won't even get started on legendary lothario Warren Beatty. And then there's Richard Burton, Peter O'Toole and Dennis Hopper.

"Lindsay's antics aren't anything new -- actors have often been wild, especially young ones. From early actors such as Clara Bow (who for a time was shunned from "decent" Hollywood society) to current star Angelina Jolie (she may be a saint now, but she used to wear vials of blood and yammer about limo sex with Billy Bob Thornton, and I loved her for it), the world has punished mostly the female wild actors, while simultaneously reveling in their photographs, fantasizing about their bodies and downloading their boring drugs/sex/or whatever else videos from the Internet."

On a side note (but a revelatory one) I posted a supportive status update yesterday on Facebook (yes, Facebook, I should have left that well enough alone) expressing these feelings. I suppose I shouldn't have been shocked by some of the nasty comments, apparently, against this little human thing called compassion, but there some were -- some so nasty that I pulled it down.

Not because I didn't want my support for this talented actress (and for that matter, any person battling demons -- celeb or non celeb, as I wrote) in a bad situation known (I have written mega Lindsay support in the past, and have always continued to do so), but this was too much. I felt like it was doing more harm than good. I thought, this should be better articulated in a column or an essay. (And I should update soon). And it actually made me feel a little disgusted by the world.

Disagree with me. But the vitriol was enough. Raged out comments -- the usual, time-worn, "she deserves it!", "she was asking for it!" "she doesn't appreciate what she's got and has no respect!" met with some bad jokes, dirty comments, and nicely, many supportive or at least, rational comments. Still, I was a bit shocked by the tone of certain dissenting opinion -- how ridiculous it was that I dare reveal an ounce of sympathy. A "friend" snarled in disgust after his numerous Lilo flames, "Way to go Kim..." and then promptly de-friended me. It was so absurd I had to laugh -- at him. "Way to go Kim"? Because...my heart went out to a young woman?

So, I'm happy "Inferno" writer, director Matthew Wilder is there for her. But of course he is. And of course he's proud of his project (I've read the script and it's excellent). As he said to me in May: "'Inferno' is the grindhouse version of Ingmar Bergman's 'Scenes From a Marriage.' People get the 'exploitation' element of the movie, but what they don't understand is that it is equally a 70s arthouse movie."  I love that.

And I love his issued statement for MTV News.  A voice of reason, a voice of support, a voice of yes people, compassion. He puts it all so eloquently. Again, compassion, it's  really not that terrible of a thing to possess.

From MTV:

"Lindsay Lohan was sentenced to 90 days in jail and 90 days in rehab for violating probation on Tuesday (July 6), and one person offering the actress his unconditional support is Matthew Wilder, who will direct Lohan in 'Inferno,' a biopic about '70s porn star Linda Lovelace.

"'This is a sad chapter in the ongoing tragicomic circus between the tabloid media and the 'justice' system,' Wilder wrote in a statement to MTV News. 'An outrageously outsized sentence garners attention for all the players involved, but brings only sadness to the poor soul who has to serve it. I am 100% behind Lindsay and can say the same for everyone involved in the production of 'Inferno: A Linda Lovelace Story.' Indeed, we are proud to have this remarkable artist work on our film. And as for the haters relishing this moment, I can only quote Jesus in 'The Last Temptation of Christ': 'And those who are laughing now...will be crying after.'

"Regarding how Lohan's sentence will affect the 'Inferno' production schedule, Wilder wrote that they will shoot when 'this chapter is finished, and we'll all happily put it in our rear-view mirror.'

 

If this doesn't melt your heart like a basket full of newborn kittens, I don't know what will.

Javier Bardem, "Glee" fan. You heard that right -- Anton Chigurh loves "Glee."

And he's not just a fan of the show, he's like, a serious fan. So much, that he has asked to appear on the thing.

From EW:

"Academy Award winner Javier Bardem is expected to appear this coming season as a rock star who befriends Artie (Kevin McHale).

"Bardem pitched the idea to Glee boss Ryan Murphy, with whom he worked on this summer’s Julia Roberts starrer Eat Pray Love.