What if movie posters just cut to the chase? Damn the real title -- this is what you really want, right? The Shiznit discusses the idea of truth in movie advertising by creating mock movie posters for the ten Best Picture nominees. Some of these are pretty funny. 

The Shiznit writes: "Join us as we dare to dream and imagine a world where the 10 Best Picture nominees had posters that had to tell the truth about the movies they advertise. What a magical land... "

 

My goodness. Finally! A genuinely sweet story involving alcohol and one of the Sheen clan.

That would be Emilio Estevez and his budding wine vineyard. The vineyard down the street from his parents, Martin and Janet Sheen. Can we have a collective ... awwww?

And on that note, Charlie --- please. Once you're out of the hospital, take a break, hang with the family, play with your kids, eat some cheese and stomp some grapes. Don't drink the final product quite yet, but, and, I'm going to make an assumption here, your family seems pretty nice. I have a feeling they'd make it easier for you.

Here's the story from the New York Times:

“'One day I came home and he had dug up all the grass,' recalled Sonja Magdevski, Mr. Estevez’s fiancée. 'He was like: ‘We’re going to plant! We need more space!’

"The year was 2005, and Mr. Estevez was working on 'Bobby,' a film he wrote and directed, about the assassination of Robert F. Kennedy. The couple lived, as they still do, in a Spanish-style home on a one-acre lot in Malibu — not exactly a prime locale for vintners.

"Mr. Estevez had already planted the front yard with vines, ignoring the protests of his parents, Martin and Janet Sheen, who live right down the street. (According to him, they said: 'You’re out of your mind. What are you doing?') Now, excepting the house, the pool and the bocce court, he was determined to fill almost every square inch of the property with 800 vines."

 

Whatever Ricky Gervais haters. When he's in the right element, he rules.

His recent, David Brent-style hat-tip to Steve Carrell in the series he created --"The Office" -- is strangely ... touching.

Watch it here.

 

"The Hobbit" has had so many setbacks, but this one, the director's health, is most troublesome. According to reports, he's in the clear, but we all hope for Peter Jackson's speedy recovery.

Here's more from Next Movie:

"But despite the amount of money the film is guaranteed to make, 'The Hobbit' has struggled to get off the ground for nearly eight years, being delayed by everything from the studio refusing to greenlight it, to original director Guillermo del Toro dropping out to the New Zealand film community staging a labor protest.

"And now this: just when the movie seemed ready to start filming, 'The Hobbit' has been delayed yet again due to a sudden medical emergency — involving Peter Jackson himself.

Yes, unfortunately, it’s true: according to the New Zealand website Stuff, Peter Jackson was rushed to the hospital last night with a perforated ulcer, which required immediate surgery. The good news is Jackson is expected to make a full recovery. The bad news is, of course, that filming on “The Hobbit” will be delayed yet again.

"Of course, it could have been far worse; perforated ulcers are no joke, as they involve acid from your stomach eating its way out and literally burning through your body. Eerily, 'Hobbit' and 'Lord of the Rings' author J.R.R. Tolkein himself died from complications caused by a perforated ulcer. Luckily for everyone, however, Jackson appears to be in no danger thanks to the magic of modern medicine."

 

With such wonderfully eclectic, innovative, moving, funny, disturbing and beautifully crafted shorts to choose from, Sundance jury duty was not an easy task.

But it was an exciting and thought-provoking task, and one that I, along with fellow jurors Sara Bernstein (vice president of HBO Documentary films) and Barry Jenkins (director/writer of "Medicine for Melancholy") were honored to be a part of. And we had a lot of fun, too. Many thanks to everyone at Sundance for allowing us to judge. We were mesmerized by so many pictures.

So last night, with much anticipation and happiness, we took to Park City's Jupiter Bowl (and it really is a bowling alley) and ambled onstage (me, nervously so) to hand out the awards. First came the honorable mentions. The impressive, diverse group of shorts included "Choke," by Michelle Latimer (Canada), "Diarchy," by Ferdinand Cito Filmomarino (Italy), "The External World," by David O'Reilly (Germany/Ireland), "The Legend of Beaver Dam," by Jerome Sable and Eli Batalion (Canada), "Out of Reach," by Jakub Stozek (Poland) and "Protoparticles" (shown above), by Chema Garcia Ibarra (Spain).

The Jury Prize in International Short Filmmaking went to Ariel Kleiman's "Deeper Than Yesterday" (Australia, in Russian), a haunting, gritty, mysterious, gorgeously crafted depiction of a lonely Russian submarine crew that was both horrifying and touching and then something like a fairy tale. It was a film that left us in awe -- the acting, the actors' faces, the story and the absolute assuredness of big-screen filmmaking. It's an unforgettable picture.

Matt Piedmont's irreverent, inventive, charmingly Mandom-esque, animated (with dolls) short, "Brick Novax parts 1 and 2," nabbed the U.S. Jury Prize in Short Filmmaking. It's a short that we hope to see extended into a series. We yearned to know more of Brick's past adventures (from folk singer to slacks designer), and we hope Piedmont gives everyone the chance to experience one of the coolest men in the world. Never mind the fact he's a doll.

Watch the video of the event after the jump. Congratulations to all of the filmmakers!

 

Will "The King's Speech" reign at the Oscars? And even, in spite of most Oscar oddsmakers, win Best Picture?

With the recent Producers Guild of America award, "The Social Network" might suffer an Oscar upset.

Here's more from TheWrap:

"The Producers Guild of America served notice on Saturday night that while David Fincher’s acclaimed drama may have put together an unprecedented sweep of critics awards, and capped that with a win at the Golden Globes, it’s not a lock to continue that winning streak through the Oscars.

"In the aftermath of 'The King’s Speech' taking the top PGA film award in a surprising and significant upset, you can be sure of a few things.

"Harvey Weinstein is beaming. Scott Rudin is sweating. And the folks behind 'The Fighter' are looking ahead to next weekend’s Screen Actors Guild Awards with the chance of turning this season into a three-way dogfight."

 

Kevin Smith doesn't need Hollywood. Or, he doesn't want it. In any case, he's choosing an interesting way to distribute his newest film, "Red State."

Here's more:

"Kevin Smith has premiered his latest movie at the Sundance Film Festival and sold it to the highest bidder -- himself, for $20.

"Smith had indicated he would auction off distribution rights to his fundamentalist horror film 'Red State' after its Sundance premiere Sunday night, and he brought up the movie's producer, Jonathan Gordon, to handle the sale.

"Gordon told the audience the bidding was open, Smith offered $20, and his producer proclaimed the film sold.

"The auction was a stunt to emphasize Smith's real plans: to release 'Red State' himself, without the tens of millions of dollars in marketing money that Hollywood pours into its releases.

"Smith says he will take 'Red State' out city to city beginning in March.

 

There are lots of films to go through at this year's Sundance Film Festival, and many to be excited for, whether you're here or not.

Writers at TheWrap offer a nice gallery of the movies they're most anticipating, including Miguel Arteta's "Cedar Rapids" (which they call the "Midwestern version of 'The Hangover'"). The picture stars Ed Helms, John C. Reilly and Anne Heche.

Check out all of their picks here:

"From star-driven indies to edgy documentaries to sure-fire Oscar contenders, Sundance offers something for every film lover. The Park City, Utah, festival is also the place where some of the buzziest films of any year invariably make their debuts. What will be this year's 'Blue Valentine' or 'The Kids Are All Right'? 

"With that question in mind, TheWrap takes a look at some of the new offerings from Kevin Smith, Ewan McGregor, Rutger Hauer and Paul Rudd to find out what films are most likely to be crowd favorites and the subject of major bidding wars."