MSN Movies Blog

Internet Diversions: eBay Seller Auctioning Nicolas-Cage-is-Really-a-Vampire Photo

You can be the proud owner of said photo - for just a million dollars!

By Kate Erbland Sep 19, 2011 1:10PM

Last week, an eBay auction of a photograph lit up the Internet-ing world with both silliness and a big conspiracy bent. The photo came with its own wacky theory – that Nicolas Cage was secretly a vampire. eBay seller “jack_mord” was hawking a photo, billed simply as “Nicolas Cage is a Vampire / Photo from 1870 / Tennessee,” complete with its own presumption that Cage is not just a talented (and Oscar-winning!) actor from a Hollywood family (who may be prone to some of his own offbeat life choices), but a vampire who will rise up like a phoenix every few years, only to garner popular glory in whatever time period he lands.

 

The price for that little photo? A cool million dollars.

 

The photo is said to be from the 1870’s, featuring a man that looks like Cage, but whom seller jack_mord believes is Cage and “that he is some sort of walking undead / vampire, et cetera, who quickens / reinvents  himself once every 75 years or so. 150 years from now, he might be a politician, the leader of a cult, or a talk show host.” If I was going to go through all that trouble, I think I’d aim a tad bit higher than “talk show host,” but who am I to presume that I understand vampire Cage’s endgame career choices? The photo is billed as documenting a Civil War-era man who lived in Bristol, Tennessee. Found in album that contained “an unusual number of Civil War era death portraits,” the man in the picture was the only one not identified by name. Conspiracy!

 

And while the photo alone is worthy some serious scrutinizing and a few laughs, the Q&A section on the photo’s auction page is truly priceless. In it, jack_mord answers various questions like “If Nicolas Cage dies, thereby being proven to not be a vampire, do I get a refund?” and “will you hand-deliver anywhere in the universe?” and the comment-as-question “Nick Cage has aged terribly in the past 10 years, he's obviously not been drinking his daily amount of blood to stay young” that results in an answer that expounds upon the Cage-as-vampire theory.

 

Of course, there's one small hitch when it comes to this clever little slice of movie memorabilia and conspiracy theory - vampires don't get captured in photographs. Duh. 

 

Sadly, as of now, the photo has been pulled from auction. Now that's a conspiracy. [THR]

304Comments
Sep 19, 2011 6:39PM
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 So what is the big deal here? We're actually much more common than most mortals believe. I COULD be most of you people's next door neighbour & you would be none the wiser as to my true identity. To use a bit of semi-modern slang not common in the roaring '20's (1620's, that is) .... FAIL!

 Geesh, you mortals are so unrefined & disconnected. But you have always been that way for about the last 700 years. Sometimes I just want to go back to sleep & skip the next 80 years or so ..... like I did with the Disco-Era.

 P.S. It's fake. We don't show up on old-style film, daguerreotypes, stuff like that .... only modern & digital media, i.e. Robert Pattinson, my great-great-great-nephew, by marriage, 7th-removed. And yes, we do sparkle.

Sep 19, 2011 6:38PM
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A new season of True Blood staring:  Nicholas Cage!
Sep 19, 2011 6:37PM
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Well if he is indeed "some sort of walking undead / vampire, et cetera, who quickens / reinvents himself once every 75 years or so", please do it soon because I sure am tired of his films.  I can't believe people are still investing millions in movies so that we can see Nicolas Cage as Nicolas Cage. 
Sep 19, 2011 6:36PM
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What do you mean, "Santa Claus isn't real?"  :(
Sep 19, 2011 6:34PM
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Divine 7, I am wondering if you read the same bible I do, as the body is mortal, but the soul is immortal, living on forever in heaven at the hand of God, to worship and show praise to God.  Without "eternal life" the bible I read would have NO VALUE, as that is its WHOLE AND ENTIRE purpose, to present man with the grace of God, and soul and spirit that live forever, thru the death of the son of God on the cross.  Hmmmmm!
Sep 19, 2011 6:24PM
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Nicolas should claim a share of any financial gain.
Sep 19, 2011 6:21PM
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Haha I'm a fotographer and I know how to make pictures look old.

 

 

Sep 19, 2011 6:17PM
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Sorry, this is such bad Photoshopping. I don't toot my own horn a lot, BUT I could do a much better "realistic-looking" job. I noticed the mistake right on. If you look at the picture the outline of the head of the original person's head is turned slightly to the left. You can see this clearly by the position of the ears. The inserted Cage profile is a straight on face! Sorry, whoever did this job forgot about anatomy!
Sep 19, 2011 6:16PM
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I'm just wondering if all the people who actually believe this

also think  Santa Claus is real.

Sep 19, 2011 6:14PM
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Oh God WHYAREWEHERE, cause some people can just have fun with stuff like this and not take it too seriously.

 

Sep 19, 2011 6:14PM
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@DeeMarie, I agree! Not only do people not care enough to learn how to spell or structure a sentence anymore, but they cannot even be bothered to use the button to check their spelling.  LOL  For all their supposed knowledge of "beings" that are 100's of years old, you would think that spelling would have been something that should have been learned by now.  :) 
Sep 19, 2011 6:12PM
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I agree with DeeMarie. Spell check is an option .

Sep 19, 2011 6:12PM
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Look a little closer, it has some other Nicholas Cage charcteristics, like slightly longer than normal arms, slightly bigger than usual hands, one eye slightly larger than the orher.  Could be folks.  I don't think one ear is bigger than the other, but the head is canted to one side.  Looks like his nose may have been broken.  Could be folks!
Sep 19, 2011 6:07PM
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Web searched 'The Thantos Archive' (you should too!), it's a site for antique

post-mortem photos.  So it's a hoax or an oxymoron.  I'll settle for just moron.

Sep 19, 2011 6:06PM
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Of course Nicholas Cage is a vampire...that is old news. What no one knows is that Brad Pitt is an elf. I have a photo. I will put it on ebay so you can go bid.

 

Sep 19, 2011 6:06PM
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Hey. Yeahright12345,

 

How much do you want for the pictures of Santa Claus?

 

Sep 19, 2011 6:05PM
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Not a vampire, he is a highlander.... in the end there can be only one, may it be Duncan... I mean Nicolas cage...
Sep 19, 2011 6:05PM
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This obviously is not Nicolas ( Conte) Cage. He sold his castle. It's Jake Gyllenhaal you morons.
Sep 19, 2011 6:04PM
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Nicolas Cage would kill for that hairline.
Sep 19, 2011 6:04PM
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Mirrors people! Mirrors! The concept is mirrors! Photography had not even come about until long after Vamp Tales were created! Oh yea and people will buy into anything! I think it's hilarious!
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