Big Baby Gandhi
Smart Dumb Kid's Progress
Big Baby Gandhi: Big Fucking Baby (free download)
Like his patron Heems, this Bangladeshi-American is from the part of Flushing "where the smart kids act dumb and the dumb kids act dumb." He just acts dumb in a smart way. You could say his lo-fi debut favors degraded rhythm samples and soprano voices, only from the boat-rocking "Been Around Ya Girl" to the deep-soul "Summertime Thing" to the Indian-children's-song-plus-keyboard(???)-loop "Woof Woof" you'd be missing a lot. The flow seems effortlessly idiomatic, only not South Asian idiomatic, whatever that would sound like besides Heems. The rhymes bespeak a brainy slacker with an analysis underway, only he's watched so much porn and heard so much hip-hop that he's dumber than need be about sex. Here he's all "she's chokin' just hopin' to provoke a nut," there he's telling her he was only kidding about that handjob. Figure by now he's here and there both. He is a kind of famous rapper, after all. A MINUS
Big Baby Gandhi: No1 2 Look Up 2 (free Greedhead mixtape)
"Terrorist with no turban/Lyricist with no sermon," he admits he'll be proud to graduate from college and with the help of two resourceful young beatmakers I never heard of cleans up his production like he's ready to go pro. But for all his "Get $$$," he hasn't quite managed it yet. He's still a kid getting his thoughts together one surprise rhyme at a time, weeding out enough sex and dope to make room for a holy Bollywood "Long Ass Intro," a law-abiding uncle who kept him out of the army, a joke he jacked from Fall Out Boy, and other evidence of grown manhood. A MINUS
)?! http://goo.gl/KW3f5 (It's, obviously, too short; I may add another verse or a bridge. I freeze halfway through; IDK why! Also, sorry for shakiness--I messed up a few times! 
)Edit: I notice now, I should add 'who will?' onto the last strum!
Lyrics here:
Who Will Love You?
Verse 1 (A/G/D)
She threw on her coat,
And left on a vote,
I'll try to be nice next time.
She threw in her cards,
And put up her guard,
She'd rather be alone.
She gave me a shove,
And strangled a dove,
Oh, how will we get on?
She spat in my face,
And smashed up the place,
I'd rather be alone.
x2 Chorus (C/G/D/A)
I won't write you a love song,
Who will?
I won't play your loser,
Who will?
(Blend--C/G)
Verse 2 (A/G/D)
She cheated on me,
And did it with glee,
You girls leave me alone.
She never loved me,
And acted hasty,
In hanging up the phone.
What did I expect?
And how not have bet,
She'd treat me like a dog.
I'm sick of this song,
And dragging along,
**** her--she'll be alone.
(Blend--C/G)
x4 Chorus (C/G/D/A)
I won't write you a love song,
Who will?
I won't play your loser,
Who will?
EDIT: Whoops, make that Wabash magazine (not Wired), if that makes any difference.
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All of Dicks' double-identity narratives flow from this and it's one of the finest split-consciousness works in lit (concept, not prose -- if he'd had a poet's language Dick would be a world figure up there with any American writer).
You've just succinctly encapsulated both his strengths and his limitations. Perfect. Probably also explains why I prefer the movie adaptations of the usual suspects (though I never saw Paycheck, which I heard was dire, and Total Recall was rankly offensive). Guess Martian Time Slip it is. Maybe I can learn to love the mess.LOL, it's hilarious, and it's meant to be; I think you are overthinking it!
"ripping a certain somebody a much-deserved new one,"
If you mean me, get some guts and just say so. But rants about how I'm rude and obnoxious are a waste of time. Rip me a new one to tell me how I'm wrong.
First just a reminder that people who have moderate, reasonable, nice-person responses to art issues usually don't become critics.
But come on - is it so off-putting that I'd want to hear (and proselytize for) an album our host once awarded an E MINUS/A PLUS? It's not like I was pumping Aorta. Remember the first rule of rock criticism: better godawful than bland.
It's off putting to me. A very long-standing pet peeve. Bob can sure correct me if I'm wrong, but my interpretation of the A+/E- parallel was that it was simply a fine rhetorical flourish, not a suggestion that A+s and E-s are somehow matter/anti-matter treasures. I'd be a lot more interested if somebody said, "damn, I find I have this affection for Aorta," even if they were struggling to articulate it, than indulging in the usual "ironic" appreciation of something everybody agrees is utter dreck.
And that may be the first rule of kevin john rock criticism, but it ain't any rule of mine. Nobody has ever offered me a decent reason to waste an unnecessary moment on either the bland or the godawful. In part I was glad to not be a film critic -- or a pop music critic for a daily -- because I was not compelled to squander eons of brain and soul energy on blockbuster or even cult junk.
Over the years, many entreaties to "aw, man, lighten up, get with the program" have only convinced me that my attitude toward "ironic" kitsch adoration is the more unconventional and therefore the more necessary. You don't refuse to hop into a crowd only when it makes you look cool.
But hey, nobody's wasting my time when they're wasting their time. Just don't expect me to join in or approve.
y'all need to hear Kay Huntington before the world ends.
Like hell. (Yer a big Shaggs fan, I presume.) Hurry up and hear this terrible album -- all the wonderful music you haven't heard can wait. There's this twisted little cult that wastes time fawning over deeply wretched novels, but I've never understood why the corresponding music malady is so much more widespread.
I recently picked up a $1 LP called Glenn Miller's SHINDIG (1965), because of the odd Jack Lonshein cover art and the repulsive concept of the music. I will not, however, find out just how bad the album is. Life's too short.
Thanks for the advice all. I decided not to use the site. The album is F*cked Music by PM Dawn, which (I believe) was commercially available for about a month in 2000 direct from the band, but was pulled for sample clearance. I've had a few of the songs on a compilation I made of unreleased PM Dawn material (which I think I might post here), but wanted to hear the full album. I did find it on Soulseek, but at a lower than ideal bitrate (160). Better than nothing. And not as good as the compilation I made.
Speaking of Chris Monsen, my archival efforts pale into insignificance compared to his marvellous 1984 project
Awesome! Chris is more of a jazz guy, but I hope he doesn't overlook the pop stuff, because 1984 was a phenomenal year for top 40 music.
Speaking of which, check out this proto-Choice Cuts list in the Additional News section of this 1984 Consumer Guide - pretty decent place to get started on the wonders of that year's pop music: tiny.cc/b63fcw
EDIT: That Turkey Shoot CG also includes albums by Irene Cara, Laid Back, Re-Flex and .38 Special that all contain at least one good-to-great single. Plus an actual good album by Hanoi Rocks.
about the blogger
Starting in 1967, Robert Christgau has covered popular music for The Village Voice, Esquire, Blender, Playboy, Rolling Stone, and many other publications. He teaches in New York University's Clive Davis Department of Recorded Music, maintains a comprehensive website at robertchristgau.com, and has published five books based on his journalism. He has written for MSN Music since 2006.
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