Robert Christgau's Music Criticism Blog - Expert Witness - MSN Music

Cotton Mather/Oasis

Oh--You Mean Those Beatles

By Xgau Apr 13, 2012 5:37AM

Cotton Mather: Kontiki (Deluxe Edition) (Star Apple Kingdom)

Pieced together in 1997 from impulsively conceived, doggedly recorded scraps of DAT and four-track by Austin mastermind Robert Harrison and a Memphis tape wizard who loved how Big Star the band was, Cotton Mather's second album caught the attention of some British Beatles fanatics d/b/a Oasis, who brought them over to open and even generated some U.K. sales. While allowing his vocal resemblance to "John Lennon with a Southern accent and a head cold," Harrison's extensive notes don't cite the Beatles much even though "My Before and After" resembles "Ticket to Ride" more than its supposed inspiration "(Reach Out) I'll Be There" and "Private Ruth" echoes "For No One" straight up. Harrison is no more a genius than Noel Gallagher, so though the lyrics aren't spaced-out gibberish or obvious pap, they're unequal to the music‑-which definitely beats, for instance, the last three songs on the first Big Star album, and even more remarkable, kind of makes you appreciate Oasis. (N.B.: I'm recommending the Deluxe because it's new and much cheaper, not because I expect ever to listen to its alternates and new ones for anything except the research I presume is now complete.)  B PLUS

 

Oasis: Stop the Clocks (Sony BMG '06)

One of the many things I never got about this band was where the Beatles were. Where was the ebullience, the wit, the harmonies, God just the singing, and, uh, the songwriting? Cotton Mather made me understand that when Oasis say they love the Beatles they really mean they love the post-Help!, pre-Sgt. Pepper Beatles. Since that span encompasses Rubber Soul and Revolver, many would say tally ho, but (a) not me 'cause I love the Beatles start to finish and (b) only if you're writing songs as good as, uh, "We Can Work It Out." Instead Oasis, meaning loudmouth bro Noel Gallagher, write songs that resemble "We Can Work It Out" in thickened texture and momentum but not depth or charm, then add arena size in the swagger of the drums and the bigged-up vocals themselves. This band-selected best-of‑-two discs lasting 87 minutes, like an old-fashioned double-LP except it's only 18 tracks‑-capture their sonic moment as fully as any freelance music historian needs. A 2010 package repeats 11 of these songs and adds 16 others‑-too many, I say. Also, it omits the opening "Rock 'n' Roll Star." If ever there were guys whose message to the world is summed up by an opener called "Rock 'n' Roll Star," it's these bigheads. B PLUS

 

267Comments
Apr 15, 2012 12:52AM
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Even moar penis stuff (someone's getting nervous!):
'44% of men say their female partners always have orgasms, when they have sex. 22% of women say they always have orgasms, when they have sex.'
This has always puzzled me: Is an orgasm cumming, or is it something else entirely (movies often depict an orgasm, to be an other-worldly thing.) If it is, indeed, what females refer to as cumming, I don't think it's hard, to make a girl cum (but, hay, that's just me--haha). Are we including squirting here? Stop me, when you've had enough. Anyone eating their cereal yet? I think I've mistaken this for a lad's forum!
Apr 15, 2012 12:32AM
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'Now, if we're talking time taken for the whole shebang, 7-9 is NOT acceptable.'

Well, if you have this attitude...! (Isn't the average penis size 6 inches [at least in Britain]? Why am I debating penises? Not like half an inch matters!)


Edit (moar penis stuff):

'A review published in the 2007 issue of BJU International showed the average erect penis length, to be 14–16 cm (5.5–6.3 in), and girth to be 12–13 cm (4.7–5.1 in). The paper compared results, of twelve studies conducted on different populations in several countries.'
Apr 14, 2012 10:37PM
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Lester Bangs trashed Fun House before he loved it, didn't he?

MC5 was't it? Famously.


Rock and roll was going to grow up into crooning-plus-Motown and all would be well.

Apr 14, 2012 10:01PM
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uncool to whom?
Am I wrong that Xgau walked out of a Stooges show in disgust? I seem to recall something like that. Also, Lester Bangs trashed Fun House before he loved it, didn't he? (I wasn't there.) When an unexploded bomb lands in your front yard, you can either move or build a garden around it.
Apr 14, 2012 10:01PM
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Cam: Double drat. Green-eggs-and hamstrung by Seuss again. I never catch these references. And I've got kids.

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Milo - uncool to whom? I wasn't around at the time, but it's hard to wrap my head around the idea of the Stooges or Big Star being uncool (unpopular, sure). I mean, maybe the Humble Pie crowd thought The Stooges were too weird, but f**k 'em, you know? You had Lester Bangs on your side. Plus weren't Big Star completely obscure at the time anyway? Like your average Grand Funk fan wouldn't have even heard of them?

EDIT: Thanks for the tip on those Hoodoo Rhythm Devils (snazzy cover!) and Five Dollar Shoes albums. I had vaguely heard of the Devils before, but from the name had figured them to be some 90s swing revival band.
Apr 14, 2012 9:36PM
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Are you speaking metaphorically
The big hearts that MCA and the folks around here have are good things Nate. No weak hearts among this crew. And I'm always shamelessly up for a "How The Grinch Stole Christmas" reference, so there's that too.
Apr 14, 2012 9:08PM
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More fun with AP...

 

In the article "Rock Hall in Cleveland ready to induct new class" linked under "Music News," we are told this tidbit of information:

 

Carole King will induct the late producer Don Kirshner, who launched Prince and the Eagles.

 

Next year: Neil Sedaka will induct the late producer Willie Mitchell, who launched Joe Ely and the Smiths.

Apr 14, 2012 9:03PM
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Adam's heart grew three sizes larger after Licensed to Ill
Are you speaking metaphorically, Doctor, or is that an actual diagnosis? Because I would think a heart enlarged to that extent would be quite dangerous. Full agreement on the good vibes and the awesomeness. I revere MCA.

Apr 14, 2012 8:56PM
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Someone appears to have transliterated some dubstep noises in Bangarang for us. Inadvertently hilarious. (No idea why Clankface lets me post this and other completely normal comments get him all cranky.)


Shout to all my lost boys
Sha-sha-sha-sha-sha-sha-shout to all my boss boys

BANGARANG! Peace! BAYYYH!
Wah-wa-wa-Wah-wa-wa-BANG-BANG
O-ooo-ooo-ooo-o-ooo-ooo-wa, Feel the BAYYYH!
Wah-wa-wa-Wah-wa-wa-BANG-BANG
O-ooo-ooo-ooo-o-ooo-ooo-wa, BANGARANG!
BAYYYH! Wah-wa-wa-Wah-wa-wa,
BANG BANG, o-ooo-ooo-ooo-o-ooo-ooo-wa FEEL BASS!
BAYYYH! Wah-wa-wa-Wah-wa-wa,
BANG BANG, o-ooo-ooo-ooo-o-ooo-ooo-wa BANGARANG!
BAYYYH! Wah-wa-wa-Wah-wa-wa,
BANG BANG, o-ooo-ooo-ooo-o-ooo-ooo-wa FEEL THE
BAYYYH! Wah-wa-wa-Wah-wa-wa,
BANG BANG, o-ooo-ooo-ooo-o-ooo-ooo-wa BANGARANG!
BAYYYH! Wah-wa-wa-Wah-wa-wa,
BANG BANG, o-ooo-ooo-ooo-o-ooo-ooo-wa FEEL BASS!

BAYYYH! Boss boys, sha-sha-sha-sha-sha-sha-
Shout to my lost boys
We rowdy
Shout to all my lost boys,
Sho-sho-sho-sho-sho-sho-shout to all my lost boys BANGARANG!
Shout to all my boss boys,
Sho-sho-sho-sho-sho-sho-shout to all my lost boys
We rowdy
Shout to all my lost boys
Sho-sho-sho-sho-sho-sho, BAYYH, BAYYYH, BANGARANG! BASS!
Wah-wah-ooo-wah, berm-berm-berm-mmm-berm-berm-berm!
Wah-wah-ooo-wah, berm-berm-berm-berm-WOOO!
Wah-wah-ooo-wah, berm-berm-berm-mmm-berm-berm-berm!
Wah-ooo-ooo-woo-yuuuh, FEEL THE
Wah-wah-ooo-wah, berm-berm-berm-mmm-berm-berm-berm!
Wah-wah-ooo-wah, berm-berm-berm-berm-WOOO!
Wah-wah-ooo-wah, berm-berm-berm-mmm-berm-berm-berm!
Wah-ooo-ooo-woo-yuuuh, FEEL THE
Wah-wooo-wah, berm, berm berm, berberber, berm, berm,
Wah-wooo-wah-wah-wah-wah-WOOO!
Wah-wooo-wah, berm, berm berm, berberber, berm, berm,
Wah-ooo-ooo-woo-yuuuh, FEEL THE

Wah-wooo-wah, berm, berm berm, berberber, berm, berm,
Wah-wooo-wah-wah-wah-wah-WOOO!
Wah-wooo-wah, berm, berm berm, berberber, berm, berm,
Wah-ooo-ooo-woo-yuuuh, do-do-do-do-do, PE-PE-PE

Apr 14, 2012 8:46PM
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I'm noting the comment over to the right about Adam Yauch missing the RNRHOF ceremony and I'm thinking: Wow, this is likely to be bad news. I sure do hope I'm wrong. Adam's heart grew three sizes larger after Licensed to Ill, and I am sending him good karmic vibes and peace for his awesomeness.
Apr 14, 2012 7:16PM
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Cam, thanks for that amazing DJ DB link. Your guess is as good as mine as to whether or not The Prettiest Breakbeat = Rave Mix. I sped through the other 1993 titles, Spring Breaks and Spring Breaks 2, and those could just as easily be candidates. The latter contains some elements of History which has so far not been eclipsed. Still, tons of great sounds, esp. a jungle remix of Anita Baker's "Real Love" and Rachel Wallace: "Pressure" (where have you been all my life??).

Milo's post reminds me that it also took pre-internet years to find what turned out to be the greatest album of the 1970s, NY Dolls: In Too Much Too Soon. I even called friends to gush. "I found the 2nd NY Dolls album!" Friends: "Congrats...I guess...(?)"

Happy birthday to all birthday people.

Apr 14, 2012 6:52PM
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Wow, I can't believe I never listened to your show before, Liam! I am right now and I'm digging it. And man, hearing extensive spoken Gaelic is a trip. :)
Apr 14, 2012 5:44PM
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Happy Birthday also to Jeffrey Melnick!  And congratulations to Irene.
Apr 14, 2012 5:42PM
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**shameless plug**

Tonight's Ar an Imeall is here: http://i.mixcloud.com/CBRSdZ

Definitely Expert Witness related - slightly early birthday tribute to our host, featuring the songs providing titles to your books (Chuck Berry, Rolling Stones, and Michael Jackson for the festschrift) some all time favourites (TS and T Monk, DeBarge, NY Dolls, the Clash), Irish acts (Van, Chalets) and someone I hope you'll like, my man Jinx.  This is just a small gesture of thanks for all the great music I've heard because you've pointed me in the right direction. Happy Birthday Bob, and here's to many more, hope you and your family enjoy the day.

Apr 14, 2012 5:36PM
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Rock and roll that was way, way uncool at the time that saved my life 1971-73:

Big Star, #1 Record (thanks Rolling Stone/Bud Scoppa and Macy's in downtown Missoula for having a hard-to-find album, mostly because nobody else wanted it, I bet) ((I had only intermittent access to Consumer Guides in those days))

Iggy and the Stooges, Fun House and Raw Power (thanks Dave Marsh)

Lou Reed, S/T and Transformer (thanks John, my first buddy from the East Coast)

Five Dollar Shoes, S/T

HooDoo Rhythm Devils, The Barbecue of Deville (thanks Ellen Willis for the above two)

The New York Dolls, S/T and In Too Much Too Soon (thanks, Bob -- maybe the most important salvation of all)
Apr 14, 2012 5:36PM
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Oh I forgot I meant to include "You Wear It Well" by Rod Stewart
Apr 14, 2012 5:33PM
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I got really lucky with Radio City - I was browsing in a record shop in Dublin around 1990, saw it on top of a pile on the counter, the shop owner said somebody else owned them.  When the owner of the records came back, he said I could take it and took the rest of them away.  (Pity I didn't grab some more, but this happened within a minute.)  It was the Ardent pressing, not perfect condition but pretty good value for free.
Apr 14, 2012 5:18PM
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Say, we haven't wished Jeff Melnick a collective big ol' bon anniversaire just yet! (Unless we have.) Hope you've had a real fine one, professor.
Apr 14, 2012 5:15PM
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Joey avg time for a man to come from the beginning of P-in-V sex is a touch over 5 min according to a 2005 study of 500 men from 5 countries. (Isn't avg penis length 5.5? Lots of fives we're lookin at here.)

So, good work Alex. 

Now if we're talking time taken for the whole shebang, 7-9 is NOT acceptable. :)
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about the blogger

Robert Christgau

Starting in 1967, Robert Christgau has covered popular music for The Village Voice, Esquire, Blender, Playboy, Rolling Stone, and many other publications. He teaches in New York University's Clive Davis Department of Recorded Music, maintains a comprehensive website at robertchristgau.com, and has published five books based on his journalism. He has written for MSN Music since 2006.

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