At this point, can there be any gold left in the talent-show mine? According to Deadline, NBC isn't worried. It has just ordered a new model from John de Mol, co-creator of "The Voice."

Bing: More about "The Voice"

"The Winner Is" at least has a unique twist: Negotiating skills are just as important as singing skills. After each round, singers competing for a $1 million grand prize will be offered a cash deal in exchange for quitting. (Think of it as "Deal or No Record Deal.")

In the finale, eight singing acts can walk away with $100,000 each if they don't want to risk losing it all.

Also: What TV shows are returning next season?

According to Deadline, votes will be cast by a panel headed by a celebrity judge. (No casting decisions have been announced.)

"The Winner Is" is expected to premiere mid-season or next summer, possibly between "Voice" seasons.

By Diane Vadino
Special to MSN TV

It's week three of "The Bachelorette," and this is shaping up, against all odds, to be an entertaining outing: I literally don't remember a season when the bachelorette managed to keep her sanity together to such a degree, and to not dissolve into weeping and wailing or spasms of “He’s too good for me” insecurity. (Oh, Ashley—it all worked out in the end.) If Emily's resolve is due to her having a kid, the show should only cast single moms moving forward. I'm so relieved we're seeing echoes of that tough, flinty Emily we only see a couple times during Brad's season rather than how Brad seemed to view her: as a pretty girl with a hot body and not much to say.

Bing: More about Emily Maynard | 'The Bachelorette'

The first date card tonight goes to...Chris. We're still in Charlotte, and they're going to be climbing up the wall (er, of a mall? an office building?)—which gives Chris the opportunity for the evening's first adventure sport-slash-relation​ship metaphor: "Climbing the building is definitely like love—you have to start somewhere, and we're starting at the bottom." Honestly: Do they give these guys $50 for each one that makes it to air? At the top of the wall, Chris makes entirely too big a deal about whether or not he'll get to kiss Emily, before awkwardly high-fiving her: "I definitely want to kiss her, and I hope that opportunity will present itself, and we'll have a first kiss." If you thought the word "kiss" couldn't become totally creepy through overuse, you'd be proven wrong by Chris. "I really want to get that rose and maybe a first kiss," he adds. Emily asks Chris about his last relationship, and Chris tells her all about his high school girlfriend. Who he just broke up with. Which makes him.... "Twenty-five." Emily, literally, laughs. "It's a little bit of a red flag," she says. Chris still gets the rose, but there's an asterisk on the win, even as Luke Bryan sings and Chris (at long last) gets that first kiss. It's just as cringe-y as we have been led to believe: "Kissing Emily is the greatest thing I've ever experienced in my life," Chris says. Really, Chris? Really?

Next, we have this week's group date, which is at the park. Isn't it a relief to have these low-key dates? The genius (well, such as it is) of these dates isn't the helicopter/bungee jumping/etc., but in twisting the knife a little bit. Today, at the park, it's with the help of Emily's mom buddies, who have been recruited to evaluate the guys. It's maybe not as good as having children torment them (like last year, on Ben's theater date in Napa), but it's great in its own way. "Are you willing to get rid of your egg?" they ask the dude with the ostrich egg. "Have you ever cheated on a girl?" Wendy asks Wolf. "Don't lie." And: "Here comes Jersey!" they yell when Stevie comes in. They force Ryan to do push-ups. "You'd look good in a cape," Wendy says. "Or some Spandex." We see a bit of Sean assuring us that he won't be taking off his shirt today ... and then doing exactly that. Because the balance of power on this show—either this one or "Bachelor"—is so rarely with the lady, it is totally awesome watching Emily's mom friends grill the dudes. 

Photos: 'Bachelorette' stars: Where are they now? | This season's contestants

There's more to the date: Emily blows a whistle and a herd of children dashes onto the playground, sort of like a Greek goddess conjuring a storm. Emily and the women are taking notes about who handles the kids well (Jef, barefoot and on a slide, for example) and who doesn't. Speaking of fails, we have Ryan. They're talking about how pretty he is when someone makes a joke about Emily getting married—and getting fat. "As soon as I get married it's downhill," Emily says, jokingly, to Ryan. “Is that okay with you?" As a former pro football player, Ryan should be able to recognize this as a fumble: "Well, no, it's not," he says. "I think you need to be at your very best." It sounds like he's trying to make a stand against obesity in America, but it comes out more like he's just sort of a douche. "I would have a problem if you just got lazy," he says. "I would still love you—I just might not love on you as much." Emily: "He has the guts to tell me I better not get fat after we get married. It's not a good move." Later in the group date, Tony cries so much about missing his son that Emily takes pity on him and sends him home. Doug is nice to him about it ("He's five, dude—he has the attention span of a hummingbird"), and I think I have a crush on Jef. That dude is adorable. Sean gets the rose.

For tonight's second one-on-one date, Emily and Arie will be traveling by private plane ... to Dollywood. "For me, this is the happiest place on Earth," Emily says. In keeping with this season's theme of actual stars (see also: the Muppets), Dolly Parton shows up to serenade the couple. Emily and Arie dance: "This is like the best moment of my life," Emily says, and this is basically the first instance of someone saying that on this show and meaning it. "[Dolly] speaks her mind and wears costumes every day—she does not care. I wish I could be more like that." Dolly tells a totally star-struck Emily that true love is possible—and she knows because she's been married for 45 years. "I would not have known that this is their first date," Dolly proclaims. Over dinner, Arie admits that his ex-girlfriend, a mother of two, broke up with him because (a) she didn't want any more kids and (b) he reminded her too much of her ex-husband, another racer. He asks Emily if she could handle the travel schedule, and she is so enthusiastically yes-yes-yes about it that she literally almost jumps out of her seat. Unless he follows Ryan's crash and burn—Arie for the win?

That should be the end of the drama, but it's not—we still have time to spend with Kalon and Alessandro. The producers must have just insisted that Kalon hang out a bit more, because he's clearly revealed his true self to Emily: "Thanks to you, I had the week off," he says, miffed that he didn't get a date card. "I really took it personally when I didn't get a date this week." It's funny how rarely the guys complain about this—but it's a good thing they don't, since it's clearly a terrible tactic. But there's more to come: "I never had to share much in my life, so to share you is devastating," he says. Even more! How does he feel about becoming little Ricki's dad? "I always believed that my first child would be one of my own," he says. It's a miracle she doesn't ask him to leave immediately, especially when he drops an "I love it when you talk, but I wish you'd let me finish." Emily's take: "I do like tall, skinny and funny, but I don't like tall, skinny, and condescending."

Alessandro is not as lucky as Kalon. First—and we won't see the footage ’til the very end of the show—he apparently told Emily's friends that (a) he's cheated on a girlfriend and (b) he's had a one-night stand. Here's betting he's not the only one—but he was the only one dumb/honest enough to admit it. He's also dumb/honest enough to admit that he sees being a father as a "compromise." Emily is not at all into that; she wants her husband to feel like the luckiest guy on Earth. I know Emily's taken some flak for acting as if she's all that or that she's spoiled—but I say amen; it's about time this show featured a woman who believes she deserves the best. Neither Ashley nor Ali had quite so much moxie. "It's not like a language thing," Emily says, and ushers him to a limo. "While I appreciate his honesty, I’m not sure if he's someone I could see myself spending my life with."

With all these preemptive exits, everybody's getting a rose tonight but one—and that one is Jersey D.J. Stevie. How did he get on this show, anyway?

"The Bachelorette" airs Mondays at 8 p.m. ET/PT on ABC.

By Carla Patton

BuddyTV

Hundreds of performances later, it has all come down to this. Season 11 of "American Idol" will crown a winner after two hours of complete, star-studded nonsense. I have one question before we let 'er rip, though: Will Lee DeWyze be stewing angrily in the audience?

Bing: More about 'American Idol' | Photos: See Season 11 highlights

A group number right away! This show is already delivering. We see all the eliminated contestants dressed in white performing "Runaway Baby" as though they were sent to "American Idol" purgatory after their elimination. This is a special kind of hell's waiting room, where your clothes turn white after you leave a competition and you have to listen only to Bruno Mars.
 

More: 'American Idol' on BuddyTV | Photos: Non-winner 'Idol' successes

After the first of many commercial breaks, Phillip Phillips performs "Have You Ever Seen the Rain" poorly with the lead singer of CCR. It's not his fault: His voice just doesn't go that high. As this weren't enough, Phillip introduces a second song, "Bad Moon Rising." We're just going to keep pushing this boy to his limit, humiliating him next to John Fogerty. Phillip sounds better on the second song. It's OK, Phillip. You don't have to pretend to care anymore. Not that you ever did!

Then, we are forced to remember terrible and embarrassing "Idol" audition moments. That was so long ago!

It was not so long ago that Joshua Ledet was eliminated. But now he's back, in a sparkly suit jacket, singing Elton John's fun "Take Me to the Pilot." He took it to church, but not before he brought out Fantasia Barrino in some weird kind of "Spider-Man 3" bodysuit and a mile-long weave. They both jumped and screamed, and I was very concerned for the structural integrity of that bodysuit. Fantasia and Joshua seemed done, but the song kept going. So, they kept screaming into their microphones until the producers had to cut to a commercial break. It was glorious.

Because the show is over two hours long, we have a segment entirely dedicated to how old man Jimmy Iovine could not remember Jennifer Lopez's name. He kept calling her Jessica. He did it so many times -- and I love Jimmy so much -- that I ended up laughing out loud. It was a wacky little thing.

And now, the ladies of the top 12, wearing sparkly "Real Housewives" dresses and singing a Chaka Khan medley! How is it that Jessica Sanchez just popped into the medley so late? Did she think she was exempt? Chaka Khan showed up, but just barely (and I do mean bare-ly! Look at our second bodysuit of the night!). I love Chaka Khan, but she seems maybe drunk. Either way, she's phoning it in. Love you, Chaka!


For the final Ford music video, they found a way to work around Phillip. They simply showed all of the least flattering shots of each of the top 12 from previous FMVs! And Ford has an unceremonious gift for the top 2's mentors: gifts to the "American Idol" finale! They got to see Chaka Khan live! And another surprise for the mentors (Phillip's brother-in-law and some other guy whose position I didn't catch): keys to their new Ford Escapes! Oh. And Phillip and Jessica, you get cars, too! Everyone gets a Ford Escape! Except Jennifer Lopez. She gets a Fiat.

Rihanna performs next, without any members of the top 12. She is a solo act and won't be brought down by the likes of, say, Shannon Magrane. She came in her own space triangle just for the event. Will someone please just tell me whether or not this performance was inspired by "Battlefield Earth"?

Skylar Laine is back to sing "Turn on the Radio." And if she's singing with Reba, I will lose it (in a good way). She is!! I'm freaking out. I am dead. Skylar totally kept up, too. She's got a career ahead of her, and I would love it all the more if that career were playing Reba's country-singing daughter in a new sitcom.

Nothing can follow that. So, we might as well see this jokey video clip about Steven Tyler's dressing room. Haha, the sloth!! They have the same hair. Also, the sloth looks like he is in ecstasy (or on it).

I need a commercial break to collect myself! But no, Jessica Sanchez is singing "I Will Always Love You." And Whitney Houston will obviously not come on stage, but maybe Jennifer Hudson will? No, it's not that kind of moment. Ahhh, it's just as good as I remember it! You go, girl.

No break for us. We power on through to a performance from the top 12 guys singing a medley. Neil Diamond is always good for an appearance. He probably paid Nigel Lythgoe $25 to appear in the finale. Aww, that's mean to Neil Diamond. Why would I say that? One thing is clear in this medley: Heejun Han does not care.

And another thing: Joshua Ledet is still scream-singing from that last song with Fantasia. No one has the power to resist "Sweet Caroline," though!

I'm glad they had a little clip about Randy always saying the same things, and I really enjoyed the literal singing of the phone book bit, in spite of myself. It even made fun of Joshua taking it to church!

Now Jennifer Lopez gets two song performances as part of her contract -- and two outfits made from the same cheap sequin fabric.

Speaking of cheap sequins, Lauren Alaina is in the house! So are Taylor Hicks, and Ace Young and Diana DeGarmo, our "American Idol" couple! Diana DeGarmo is adorable. I saw her in "9 to 5" on Broadway, and she was amazing. Ace said he thought this would be the right time to ask a "simple question." Diana looked excited, then skeptical. But this is no Ryan Seacrest fake out! There was a little product placement in the proposal, but I don't mind that! I love televised proposals, and I love that they had Kieran dim the lights for it! Diana DeGarmo and Ace Young are engaged now! Did Ace just congratulate himself?

After that, Hollie Cavanagh performs "You'll Never Walk Alone" with Jordin Sparks. If I had to declare a winner of this duet, I think I'd pick Hollie, though she's a bit greener.

Did you like that, Phillip? Are you enjoying your finale? I hope he's feeling OK.

In a tribute to Robin Gibb, the top 12 guys (again, minus Jermaine and Phillip) sing a Bee Gees medley. I think this will be best for DeAndre. Against expectation, it's a relatively good moment for Colton, and everyone else sounds dreadful on it. They sound particularly terrible when they're all singing together.

Another superstar duet, one that I have dreamed of since the top 24: Jessica Sanchez and Jennifer Holliday singing "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going." Why is Jessica always late to the stage? Are long drape-y dresses that hard to change in and out of? Oh, and Jennifer Holliday? Girl's still got it. Unlike a lot of the other celebrity guests on this night, she is putting in some major effort. I hope Jessica Sanchez knows what an awesome moment this is. She can always look back on the time Jennifer Holliday wiped the floor with her.

At long last, Aerosmith agrees to perform on "American Idol." Maybe just to fill the slot that Phillip Phillips couldn't due to illness. Liv, your old man's still got it. And Steven wore one of his nicest chiffon robes.

Phillip finally emerged back on stage, wearing a cute cool-guy tux -- no tux shirt, just a T-shirt and a vest. Kind of funky, but whatever. And Jessica looks great in burgundy. They sing "Up Where We Belong," which is actually a perfect duet for them if there ever was one. Phillip is just barely singing, and I hope his kidneys (kidneys? mysterious illness center) don't explode when he wins. They just need to turn his microphone up -- or down. I don't know. There's just a great disparity in vocal range here, but not in heart!

The results are starting now! How exciting! Even though I've never been less unsure of who will win, I'm still happy we've gotten here. Phillip looks good in a V-neck. Jessica's hair is majestic. The finalists have never looked better!

Dim the lights. 

The winner of "American Idol" Season 11 is ...

Phillip Phillips!

Phillip Phillips Sr. hugs his wife. Everyone hugs Phillip, led by Heejun. And Scotty McCreery hands Phillip the god-awful, meaningless microphone trophy. Phillips sings his song and seems relatively unfazed. Maybe he's just in shock ...

He sings "Home" under a cascade of pyrotechnics. I hope to hear it on the radio, because I like the song. I hope to hear a lot of this season's contestants on the radio soon. Phillip is overwhelmed and actually shows some emotion! It's completely endearing! If you feel nothing you are dead inside. Phillip breaks into tears, takes off his guitar, tries not to swallow the confetti and goes to hug his family. I can't help but love it!

Goodbye for now, everyone! I hope you had a good Season 11. I thought it was OK.

What do you think of Wednesday night's results? Did America get it right?

It's official: Donald Driver and Peta Murgatroyd are our Season 14 champions! Donald said he felt amazing and he sure did look happy dancing around onstage with the mirror-ball trophy.

Bing: More about 'Dancing With the Stars' | Photos: See Season 14 highlights
 

This finale came right down to the wire, with the final cha-cha wrapping up just minutes before Tom announced the winner. After the audience's votes were combined with the judges' scores, William Levy and Cheryl Burke finished third and Katherine Jenkins and Mark Ballas were the runners-up.
 

Last Night on TV: Watch recaps | Video: Watch clips and more

Here's a quick breakdown of each star's performances in the final week of competition:

William Levy

William's disco-infused cha-cha got the finals off to a rollicking start. The judges didn't have a single negative thing to say about this blockbuster routine. In the freestyle round, William and Cheryl went completely nuts. The Latin-infused routine never let up for a second. William kept up with his partner like a champ and the applause when he had finished was the loudest I've heard all season. In the final round, William and Cheryl turned in a sunny salsa that had the crowd on its feet – yet again. The judges joined in the lovefest. Bruno praised the number's spiciness and Carrie Ann told him he has true star quality.

Cha-cha: 30/30

Freestyle: 29/30

Salsa: 30/30

Score: 89/90

Katherine Jenkins

Katherine's first-round paso doble evoked a traditional Spanish bullfight. The choreography was as difficult as anything I've seen on this show and she nailed it. Her second-round freestyle had flapper flair. Carrie Ann praised her abilities as a performer and called the routine "the dance of a champion." Katherine and Mark's jive was lighthearted in spirit but incredibly tough when it came down to choreography. Katherine sailed through it like a pro!

Paso doble: 30/30

Freestyle: 30/30

Jive: 30/30

Score: 90/90

Donald Driver

Donald's moody Argentine tango had some amazing lifts in it! The routine struck a good balance between crazy acrobatics and intense dancing in hold. He and Peta turned in a countrified freestyle routine that was risky, but paid off! Len praised Peta for her unconventional choreography and called the dance "fantastic." Donald's intense, emotional cha-cha showed off his incredible grace and rhythm. It was downright flawless. Len called Donald the best contestant "we've had" – and it seemed to me that he meant in all 14 seasons.

Argentine tango: 29/30

Freestyle: 30/30

Cha-cha: 30/30

Score: 89/90

By Carla Patton

BuddyTV

Who would ever have guessed that a novelty name would take one man and his guitar so far in a singing competition? No, of course Phillip Phillips is more than just a funny name from a novel I would have written when I was 12. He means so much to us now! And who would have guessed that Jessica Sanchez would be taking him on in the finale? Granted, Jessica is one of the strongest voices this season, but I was so convinced it would be Joshua Ledet that I spent most of the last week completely denying his elimination and thinking it would be a Phillip/Joshua finale.

Bing: More about 'American Idol' | Photos: See Season 11 highlights

It's the Philippines vs. the Phillippines (which is what Phillip's fans should call themselves). Have you guys heard this about the Philippines supporting Jessica Sanchez? It's not just "American Idol" anymore!

More: 'American Idol' on BuddyTV | Video: Watch 'American Idol' clips and more

The judges aren't looking very finale-like, but I suppose they're saving their wow outfits for the real finale. This is just a pajama jam as we suffer through the final hours of this year's student council election. There seem to be a lot more (or maybe louder) Jessica fans in the house on this night, as Ryan Seacrest interviews them at the top of the show. Jessica says this is "crazy" and Phillip offers indistinguishable babbling because he does not give a single care!

So, let's all just relax, let the contestants change their clothes and celebrate Jason Derülo's "healing process." Look! He's bedazzled-neck-brace​ free! Truly "undefeated." Except he might have been defeated by this melody, which doesn't sound ... great. Oh, Jason. Please don't stand on that chair! You'll hurt yourself again. Thank you for the memories and dreams, Coca-Cola.

So, what was Jessica Sanchez's favorite performance of the season? She can't sing another Whitney song, can she? I'll bet it's "Dance With My Father." But no, it's practically another Whitney song: It's "The Prayer" by Celine Dion, which she sang for the judges before the top 24 round -- a wise decision, because it's new to us. And she gets to wear a pretty long, pink dress. She feels more emotionally connected to this song, you can tell, and she absolutely nailed it. Way to go, Jessica! You were saving that for this moment, weren't you?

Phillip Phillips enjoyed Billy Joel week so much that he wants to sing "Movin' Out" again. I'll admit, I watched this performance back again. I didn't find it particularly remarkable that time, but it was one of his better moments tone-wise (and he can't really choose "We've Got Tonight" or "Volcano" so soon again, can he?). If Phillip wins this season, he owes Saxophone Lady a big peck and a check.

Steven gives Round 2 to Jessica again. Randy calls it a tie (cheap!), and Jennifer chooses Phillip. So, anyone could win.

Now, we will be subjected to the Winner's Songs. I don't know if there's any way these songs can be great, but at least they're not the same song anymore.

Jessica's winning single is up first. What type of artist mold will she need to break out of in a year or two? They've called her single "I Wanna Change Nothing," I believe, and it's a solid 5 out of 10. I don't find it particularly touching or catchy, but I assume she sang it well (we'll never know!). The lyrics were age-appropriate. A 16-year-old singing about how nobody knows what she's been through and how she's going to rebel sounds about right. Randy says he doesn't love the song but loves that she made something more out of it. She gave it "urban flavor," apparently. Jennifer agreed that, if it were up to her, she wouldn't have that be Jessica's first single either. Steven mumbled in agreement. So, we all hated the song! This doesn't bode well as we go into four hours of voting!

Phillip's song is titled "Home" -- straight, simple, and probably better for him as an artist. I bet he didn't get to write it, though. Oh, man. This song is good. As a non-teenager, I much prefer this song to Jessica's youthful pop ballad. It's road trippy and sensitive, and basically I am powerless to resist the charms of Phillip Phillips any longer. It was modern, fun and basically perfect. Damn. It has a hint of Mumford & Sons and a taste of Fleet Foxes. The judges rose to their feet, and we should just give Phillip the platinum microphone or whatever the meaningless trophy is now. Randy yelled about it for a while, citing Mumford & Sons and Fleet Foxes. Jennifer couldn't think of any other song that sounds like that (you need to listen to more music, J.Lo!). And Steven heard Paul Simon.

I have never witnessed such an obvious win before a finale before! OK, maybe Scotty last season. But still. Decimated. They'll both do well, but I think Phillip will have the title to shake. At the very end of the show, my unborn child, Scotty McCreery, returned to the stage to sing "Please Remember Me" as we look back at all the contestants Phillip Phillips groaned on out of here this season. I love you, Scotty. You are the "American Idol" of my teenage heart.

What do you think of Tuesday night's performances? Who's got the inside track?

The "American Idol" finale airs Tuesday, May 22, and Wednesday, May 23, at 8 p.m. ET/PT on FOX.

By Diane Vadino

Special to MSN TV

It's Episode 2 of this season of "The Bachelorette" -- and unbelievably, it's actually starting to look more, rather than less, interesting. Emily, for one, is "getting real." Lucky for us, this involves asking the guys lots of questions about how psyched they are to be dads and then watching them squirm as they fail to come up with suitable answers. (You know they're all like, “Where are the helicopters and bungee jumps?” on the inside.) And paradoxically, though the helicopter count for this season is frighteningly low (one: Kalon's, and can it please return to take him back wherever he came from), it's actually sort of interesting watching Emily interact with her friends and family. Though there's a certain sadistic thrill (and surely, this show is built on exactly that) in watching a woman, cut off from everyone she knows, try to make sense of a never-ending array of douchebags, players, and skeeves, it's actually just as entertaining to see her act with a modicum of confidence. 

Bing: More about Emily Maynard | 'The Bachelorette'

Which is, more or less, how tonight's opening date with Ryan goes. More because she has the gumption to throw some actual tough questions at him. Less, though, because she can't stop wondering if he's "too perfect.” "Too perfect," of course, is Emily-code for "too much like Brad," which, for obvious reasons, is to be avoided: "Brad was crazy good-looking and we all know how that turned, out," she says. Instead of helicopter rides, Ryan and Emily bring in the groceries, bake cookies, and drop snacks off at Ricki's soccer game. What's next? Chuck E. Cheese and "wrangling a bunch of sugar-hyped-up six-year-olds." She's kidding -- instead, they're heading for dinner at Emily's favorite restaurant in town, so it's all pretty normal, except for the part where the band Gloriana plays and we all briefly pretend having Gloriana play in one's hometown is a tremendous honor. Too-perfect or not, Ryan gets his rose. 

Photos: 'Bachelorette' stars: Where are they now? | This season's contestants

Next is the group date, which, inexplicably, stars the Muppets, who should have a long think about firing their management. They are so much better than this goat rodeo, but at least Fozzy's here to provided befuddled reaction shots whenever one of the bachelors tries to make a joke onstage: We're at a Muppets-starring fundraiser for a local children's hospital, and the guys have been put into small groups doing things they're not very good at (telling jokes in public, dancing, speaking in front of large groups.) Most of the guys roll with it, except for Charlie, whose brain injury has left him with a speech impediment. Emily excuses him from the activity and says he can join the dancing troupe instead. Miss Piggy pity-laughs her way through the guys' presentation, Chris Harrison grumbles alongside Statler, and Kermit, Ricki, and Emily sing "The Rainbow Connection." Unless you were concerned about a beloved children's institution (um, the Muppets, but the hospital, too, perhaps) associating itself with a bawdy dating show, it was fine. Any interpersonal drama, anyway, was saved for later -- specifically, when Kalon and Stevie get into a verbal altercation. "I don't like you," Stevie says. "I would like me either, if i were you, bro," Kalon shoots back, like a douche. He is so annoying; there really should be a public vote on kicking this guy off. But there's more from Kalon: At the pool, he tells single-dad Doug that he "made a decision to put [being a dad] on hold." This doesn't go over any better, and now essentially everyone hates Kalon and his helicopter. Jef -- around whom Emily feels like she's "in middle school -- takes the rose. 

We know the date with Joe isn't going to go well from the get-go, when all his interviews are about going home. The first stop on the way there, however, is the Greenbriar, a world-famous spa in West Virginia -- Emily's home state. Speaking of, Emily is clearly 100 times more excited about the resort than about Joe, who does everything short of run his finger around a too-tight collar as Emily asks him to spell out how he would adapt to being a full-time dad. She blames his ouster on incompatibility -- but it's clearly because she's just not that into him: no butterflies. She's quite classy about his dismissal, and tells him tearfully that she's not just crying because she's sad to see someone -- anyone go; she really liked him. However: no butterflies. It's the eternal dealbreaker. 

One thing of interest happens at the rose ceremony cocktail party, and that's Ryan writing Emily a seven-page letter (really) spelling out his feelings (really), which she has to read aloud (again), while Tony waits. It's a masterwork in cringe-making, and it has a lot of transitions in it ("Furthermore..."). Miraculously, they both get roses -- but Aaron and Kyle aren't so lucky. If you can't tell them apart -- well, Aaron's the high school science teacher who humiliated his students by offering Emily some "chemistry." Farewell, guys. 

"The Bachelor" airs Mondays at 8 p.m. ET/PT on ABC.

Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi has flown the "Jersey Shore" coop, TMZ claims. However, she will still appear on Season 6 of the reality show, according to the report, making a nest nearby in Seaside Heights, New Jersey.

Bing: More about Snooki | 'Jersey Shore'

Unnamed sources tell the gossip website that the move is her choice and owes to taking her fragile condition more seriously than her image would suggest. "It's not worth it to be surrounded by boozy, loud roommates while pregnant," the report reads.

Also: What TV shows are returning next season?

Beyond debunking previous reports claiming that Snooki would turn the "smush" room into her new pad, the move could prove significant. Regardless of whose choice it was, featuring Snooki as a mere neighbor could make it easier for MTV to phase her and a sober Situation out, if this earlier report rings true, in favor of a wilder generation of new guidos and guidettes.

Producers are also obviously hoping to capture Snooki residing somewhere else this summer: the closest hospital. (She'll be 7-to-9 months along during the production.)

Season 6 of "Jersey Shore" is expected to premiere this fall on MTV.