'American Idol' Recap: Country Gone

By John Kubicek

BuddyTV

This week, the top 5 on "American Idol" proved that they are not just the best final five ever on the show but that they are among the greatest musicians in the history of time and space. At least, that's what the judges believe. 

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All kidding aside, they're incredibly good, and this is one tough competition. I look back just two years ago when people like Michael Lynche, Aaron Kelly and Casey James were all in the top 5. None of them should even be mentioned in the same breath as any of the remaining contestants this season.

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But it's time to say farewell to one. Will it be Phillip Phillips, who was easily the worst singer of the week? Or is it finally Hollie Cavanagh's time after being in the bottom four of the last five weeks?

To be perfectly honest, I'm kind of interested to see what an "American Idol" results show looks like these days. I've just been reading Carla Patton's recaps all season to find out who went home, but since I'm guest-recapping, it means I actually have to watch it. Oh well, if I can spare just one person from having to subject themselves to the inanity of a Ford commercial and an awful group number, then I've done my good deed for the day.

"New Girl" Promo: Randy Jackson's Hot Dawgs in Steven Tyler's Janie's Got a Bun, with Jennifer Lopez's Chili from the Crock. Why isn't Max Greenfield in everything? I'm just happy the adorable Deputy Leo is finally becoming a star like I always knew he would be.

Results, Part 1

Ooh, results right away. Joshua Ledet, one of the best two "Idols" of all time and one of the greatest singers in the past 50 years, is called to the center of the stage. Jimmy Iovine thinks Joshua's "To Love Somebody" is the best performance of the entire season. Meh.  I don't even think it's the best Joshua Ledet performance of the season (that goes to "When a Man Loves a Woman"). And I don't really care about the fact that Joshua can learn a song so quickly. Joshua Ledet is safe. Well, no duh.

Ford Music Video: Yawn. It's fairy-tale themed.

Coldplay Performance No. 1: They perform "Paradise," but I'm distracted by the fact that I think Chris Martin is wearing one of his wife's T-shirts. Sorry, but I'm not a fan of the insanely short sleeves on a T-shirt. In fact, I'm not a fan of famous musicians performing on a big show like "American Idol" in a T-shirt. Dress up, Chris Martin! Although the way he says "Thank you everybody. Thank you so much" at the end is kind of endearing.

Results, Part 2

Hollie and Phillip are called to the center. Either or both of them in the bottom wouldn't surprise me. I hate that Jimmy pronounces the "H" in homage. It's OH-maj, not hom-idge. Jimmy thinks both of Phillip's performances were bland and that he's coasting. He's not wrong -- at all.

Hollie Cavangh is in the bottom 2.
Phillip Phillips is safe.

Well, that's not fair at all, but whatever. We all know Phillip is going to win. And even terrible, bland performances won't stop the inevitable.

Carrie Underwood Performance: She sings "Blown Away," the title track of her new album. It's not my cup of tea, and I prefer the Jeff Bridges movie "Blown Away." If you haven't seen it, go find it now because it's amazing. As far as Carrie is concerned, I think she should play Jenna Maroney's little sister on "30 Rock."

Results, Part 3

It's down to Jessica and Skylar. Ever since my favorite, Colton Dixon, left, Skylar is my girl. So, I have my fingers crossed. Jimmy wasn't feeling Skylar's Dusty Springfield song, mostly because he hated the set and the production with the people on the bench. That's not her fault, is it? Jimmy hated "Proud Mary" because her dress was too short. He blames the stylists (Tommy Hilfiger?) for torpedoing Jessica. Jennifer Lopez turns this into a "Hollywood is OK with making teenage girls sexualized, but Middle America isn't so cool with it" situation.

Jessica Sanchez is safe.
Skylar Laine is in the bottom 2.

No! I barely survived my favorite getting eliminated. I don't think I can stomach watching my second favorite go too.

Coldplay Performance #2: They do "Every Teardrop Is a Waterfall." Seriously, that's the title of a song? That's the cheesiest thing I've ever heard. Also, I know Chris Martin is only 35, but he's way too old to be acting like he is on stage, just spinning and hopping around like a toddler or a college kid at his first rave.

Results, Part 4

It's down to Hollie and Skylar. Hollie is in the bottom for the fifth time in six weeks. Skylar is in the bottom for the third time and was my early pick to make it to the finale (where I thought she'd finish second to Colton Dixon, so that shows what I know). The judges agree that this is the best top 5 ever, so it's impossible to actually say anyone deserves to go home more than anyone else.

Skylar Laine is eliminated!

Oh, hell no!!!

What is going on here? How are my two favorite singers both gone already? This is just the worst. This season is all kinds of wrong because there's no way on earth Skylar should be gone. Well, next week Carla Patton returns, and I'm glad because I'm not sure I want to recap "American Idol" without Colton Dixon and Skylar Laine. I know a lot of people say they're going to stop watching a show after this person or that person goes home. But really, if it weren't for the fact that this is my job, I'd be done. I'm sure on finale night Colton and Skylar will blow whoever is left out of the water.

What do you think of Thursday night's results? Did America get it right?

"American Idol" airs Wednesdays and Thursdays at 8 p.m. ET/PT on FOX.