'Jersey Shore' Season 5 Premiere Details
Spoiler alert: Do not read this, no matter what!
Nearly every detail about the Season 5 premiere episode of "Jersey Shore" -- which wrapped filming in August -- has been leaked in this New York Post report. Isn't that horrible of them, spoiling it for us like that?
OK, so do you want to hear it or not? (I never claimed not to be horrible, too.)
The cast ditches Italy after 40 days, ostensibly for its GTL (gym, tan laundry) unfriendliness.
I knew you couldn't resist!
"We're losing weight and we're getting pale," Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino says in a confessional. "It's like the end of civilization."
It's back to Seaside Heights and Season 3 sleeping arrangements: The Sitch, Sammi Giancola and Ronnie Ortiz-Magro rooming upstairs, with Paul "DJ Pauly D" DelVecchio and Vinny Guadagnino bunking it and Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, Deena Cortese and Jenni "JWoww" Farley rooming downstairs.
But not everything is back to normal. Snooki now has a dark secret -- her Italian hookup with The Sitch -- to keep from her boyfriend, Jionni. And you can cut the awkwardness with a broken wine bottle when Jionni hangs at a surprise party for the gang -- and later, a bar -- alongside the only witnesses to said hookup.
More spoilers can be found in the following MTV trailer -- although most scenes are not from the first episode:"Jersey Shore" returns for Season 5 on Thursday, Jan. 5, at 10 p.m. ET/PT on MTV.
Although reality TV may indeed range from the obnoxiously insipid like Jersey Shore, the Real Housewives of (wherever), and Celebrity Rehab to just annoying supposed talent shows like Dancing With The Stars, X Factor, and American Idol that are really, for the most part, popularity contests or "skill" shows like Survivor that actually combine a little athleticism more with glorifying the skill to cheat and manipulate and portray that as something to emulate, the fact is ALL reality tv is a cancer and a plague that has been too long unleashed on the entertainment spectrum. It has combined with a deviant form of syndication so that for every original series produced like a Hot In Cleveland we have twice as much nonsense like Pawn Wars on channels like the History Channel. Anyone else think a show about what people bring in to pawn is stretching things for a link to real history? And this reality crap has at least indirectly resulted in once good cable channels like A&E from turning into syndication outlets for old CSI or NCIS, Mentalist, etc. episodes or for "original" programming the Real Housewives of wherever or Redneck Vacations or Hillbilly Billionaires. Garbage, garbage, garbage.
There was a case study that actually proves, watching "Jersey Shore" drops your I.Q.. If only I could remember, where? Crap, that's right, I just finished learning that Snooki has a "dark secret".