'Kourtney & Kim Take New York:' Kim Paints Town Silver

In the first episode of “Kourtney & Kim Take New York,” Kim Kardashian made Kanye West appear on command. That was a pretty cool magic trick. Do it again, Kim! But in the second episode of the Kardashian reality spinoff on E!, instead all we got was Kourtney Kardashian’s baby daddy getting in a bar fight to defend Kim’s honor. If anyone can make a bar fight boring, it’s Scott Disick.

Still, the Kardashians, in New York to open another branch of their boutique Dash, are compulsively watchable. It is easy to spend 30 minutes watching them navigate their own fame, especially when nudity, silver paint and Carl’s Jr. are involved.

In this episode, Kim declares to Kourtney that she’s “over” posing nude, then we learn she posed without clothes for a photo shoot, but with silver paint applied in every crevice. In other words, nude. Kim thinks buildings and other artwork will cover her up for the final photos and was so casual about the whole thing she confesses she ate Carl’s Jr. on the way to the shoot. If only she’d known “W” magazine had a different idea. In the final photos, it is just Kim in all her silver-painted glory.

When Kim sees her silvery "bosoms" (thanks Scott Disick), she freaks out. Kourtney notes Kim probably shouldn’t have taken her clothes off at all, but defends her sister's decision because she knows Kim didn’t want to do a nude shoot. Kim wails, “I’ve come so far to do this," declares it's porn and screams at mother Kris Jenner “Do something!” But there was nothing to be done. The magazine had gone to print. Kim thankfully bucks up and deals with the silvery hand in front of her. By the end of the episode, she smiles cheerily and calls the pictures “iconic.” And she even learns a lesson! Sort of. “I definitely am not getting naked or taking my clothes off ever again, not even if it’s Vogue. Well, maybe if it’s Vogue. “

As for Kourtney, she got in a fight with Scott. She wore a blouse with a cool, stand-up tulip-shaped collar. She apologized to Scott. Scintillating, I know. In other news, Khloe, in New York for a visit, got a big blow-up giraffe from hubby Lamar Odom.