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A rose explosion means the jockeying for position starts early and ends drunkenly

By Diane Vadino Jan 7, 2013 11:32PM
It's that time, ladies and the five gentlemen who've somehow been roped into watching. Three hundred years in the future, "The Bachelor" might be used in some sociology class as a text on mating in the 21st century, but until then, it's just our favorite Monday night disaster—this time, starring Sean, who, God willing, won't be the same blond pudding he was throughout most of last season. Then again, I had the same concerns about Emily—and that was a very entertaining session of "The Bachelorette." (Even if they're not getting back together.) I retain hope for no reason more central than the fact the Sean pulled off the show's best-ever prank: The bar is excruciatingly low—like end-of-the-night-limbo-bar low—but for a few minutes, Sean ruled last season as the bright, shining star who tricked Emily into thinking he lived in his parents' spare room, covered in cookie crumbs and stuffed animals. Please, please, let there be more of that. 


Anyway: Sean. He's 29. He is both "blessed" and "humbled." He is, if you missed him standing on the actual rock, a "rock." Speaking of, he skips rocks into the surf of the Pacific Ocean while filming this opening segment, and the camera pans over to find a newly married couple posing for portraits. Was that J.P. and Ashley? No? Back to Sean: He's everyone's favorite uncle, and he wants to settle down with his own wife and kids before that gets creepy. To do that, he's back: "I'm going to go through this crazy journey again, in hopes I can find the one for me." Fingers crossed, buddy. 

Next up, Emily Maynard's leftovers have some beers and chit-chat about their feelings. Also, Arie shows Sean how to kiss, which is all kinds of wrong if you remember Arie eating Emily's face last season. Why is Arie here? Was Chris Harrison on vacation? "He has a lot of good advice," Sean exaggerates. To each their own, though. Here's a quick visual recap of Sean and Arie's kissing techniques. 



Without too much further ado, we meet a good portion of the women who will soon be humiliating themselves and each other in the name of love and/or tabloid magazine covers. We have: wedding stylist Desiree ("I'm waiting for my missing puzzle piece"); Tierra ("Some people can live without love and be fine for their whole life but I'm the opposite"); Robyn ("I have dated an engineer before—they're usually socially awkward, a little boring"); mom-of-two Diana; born-with-one-arm Sarah; Ashley ("It's me and my cat now, because all my friends are married and boring"); D.C. consultant Lesley ("I don't like the nerds and I don't like the politicians, and this city is filled with them"); Ford model Kristy; and professional organizer "AshLee" ("Everything in my life is organized besides my love life"). Ready for all that, Sean? 

When we pick up, we're at the mansion, and Sean is ready to begin welcoming the fleets of limos. Seriously: Limo drivers must go on vacation the day this show wraps for the season. There are children of limo drivers in college right now with tuitions paid for by this show. We've seen some of these women already, but we also have: cosmetics consultant Jackie, who basically rubs his face in her lipstick; real estate developer Selma, who wipes it off ("You don't want to make all the other girls jealous"); poker dealer Leslie ("You are so much cuter in person"); commercial casting associate Daniella; cruise ship entertainer Kelly, who sings, but not in a very sexy way; and yoga instructor Katie, who knows Sean did a very bad job of mimicking her yoga pose but doesn't say anything. We absolutely have to give Ashley a special call-out here. She asks Sean if he's read any good books lately, and from his, "I have!" you get the sense he actually wants to talk about it. But then she's all, "I have—'50 Shades of Grey,'" and pulls a tie out of her boobs. "I'm guessing I know the symbolism behind this?" Sean asks. It's not really symbolism, but close enough. 

We also have health club manager Taryn; Catherine ("You're such a hunk"); Robyn, failing majestically at a couple back flips; graduate student Lacey; Jumbotron and "Bachelor Pad III" vet Paige; and finally Tierra. This is the night's weirdest exchange. Something about her makes it look like she's about to make out with him, right then and there. As Sean says, it was literally magnetic—like watching her drawn right to his mouth. Sean leaves, says something to Chris about "bending the rules," and comes back with a rose. This is not a popular decision inside the mansion. 

The girl parade continues. Back outside, we have: fit model Amanda; entrepreneur Keriann; and Sarah, who asks Sean if he imagined finding love in these circumstances. Hell to the no, he says. "This is exactly how I always envisioned it," she says. Sean isn't sure if she's kidding. (She's not.) Sarah is followed by community organizer Brooke; Kristy; Ashley H. ("Hi, Ken—I'm Barbie"); Italian-American journalist Lauren ("My dad did want me to send you a message: If you break my heart, he's going to break your legs"—because stereotypes are fun!); and Lindsay, who shows up in a bridal gown and immediately kisses Sean. "Now that we've made out, what's your name?" he says. 

That's 25 women. But there are going to be 26 in this season of "The Bachelor." Kacie B. is here! You may remember her from crying on the floor of her hotel in Ben's season, but she's awesome. "I'm speechless," says Sean, who, suspiciously, doesn't sound as excited as he should. "I have some words," she says. "I know I don't deserve a second chance." Of course, this is Sean's second chance, which she points out. "I can't wait to hear what the other girls think," Sean says. "Come save me later," Kacie says. Her inclusion isn't exactly met with universal enthusiasm: "Maybe she's just here to give us some advice," someone says, to general derision/guffaws. "She had her chance with Ben, so what makes her think something will work with Sean?" says Desiree, apparently failing to understand basically everything about how relationships work. Kacie gets one of the first mini one-on-ones with Sean, who still seems a little ambivalent. "I met her and I viewed her as a friend," he says. "Now I know that she has feelings for me, I'm interested in exploring that." We'll see. 

Kacie B. doesn't leave that conversation with a rose, but the women soon realize "there might not be any rules"—Sean is just giving out roses willy-nilly, to, among others, Selma and Robyn of the problematic gymnastics. Not everyone's getting them, though—take Ashley H., for example, who leaves her awful-looking conversation with Sean clutching at nothing but her dignity. "It's been nice talking to you," Sean tells her. "Unfortunately, I have a lot of other girls to talk to." The only more-awkward moment comes when Lindsay, who you know absolutely hates that wedding gown at this point, begs Sean to kiss her: "I swear I'm not contagious." (It's how all great relationships start.) Of course, even Lindsay can't compete with Ashley of "50 Shades of Gray." That tie is still hiding in her cleavage. "I have not forgotten about the tie," Sean says, as she again pulls it from her bra. "I also have my rape whistle." Ashley tells him a story about her mother calling him her "son-in-law," and it's pretty awful. "'50 Shades of Grey' may have become '50 shades of drunk' tonight," Sean says. 

At long, long last, it's time for the rose ceremony. This is going to be the fastest-ever opening night rose ceremony, since Sean's already given out 12 of them—with seven left. They go to: Amanda, Leslie, Kacie (yay), Kristy, Daniella, Taryn, and Lindsay, who seems to have dodged a bullet. That means, among others, "Bachelor" franchise perennial loser Paige is going home, as is Kelly and the "50 Shade of Grey" fan, Ashley. "Oh, poor Sean, [you] could have totally f***ed me." Keeping it classy, everyone. 

"The Bachelor" airs Mondays at 8 p.m. ET/PT on ABC. We'll be back next week with all the drama, tears, cocktail dresses, and inappropriate touching anyone could handle. 

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Juliette mourned while Rayna and Deacon's dream reunion spun out of control

By TVDeeva Deanna Barnert 14 hours ago

Juliette was shell-shocked in the wake of her mother's death, which the press was calling a "drug-fueled murder suicide." When Deacon came to pay his respects, she blamed him for getting Jolene sober and putting her through this. Intent on winning Female Vocalist of the Year, she slammed the door in his face and got dolled up for the CMAs. When Marshall and her former manager Glenn showed up in her dressing room later, she stormed that she wasn't going to let her mother take this moment from her. Glenn told her she needed to grieve, to which she screamed, "I should be celebrating that it's finally over!" That snapped her out of it. Apologetic and teary, she ditched the CMAs to visit her mother. She apologized for being "so terrible" and recalled how she used to sing Jolene to sleep. They'd had the mother/daughter thing backwards, but now, it was worse. She was alone. "How could you leave me?" she cried.

 

Bing: More about 'Nashville' | Watch clips and full episodes of 'Nashville'

 

Rayna told her girls she was dating Deacon and they were taking their relationship public at the CMAs. Daphne was fine with it, but Maddie went straight to Deacon's house and asked him if he was her father.

 

Rayna was confused when Deacon stood her up and then arrived just in time to walk on stage. Brad Paisley teased him about being late, and Deacon laughed it off. After glaring his way through Rayna and Brad's performance, he confronted Rayna in her dressing room. He demanded to know if she'd been lying to him for the last 13 years: Her face said it all. She reminded him what a drunken mess he'd been. After he'd destroyed her apartment and gone to rehab for the fifth time, she'd learned she was pregnant, so she and Teddy decided to get married and take a paternity test later. Then Coleman told her to cut Deacon loose for his own good, so they'd done what was best for him and for Maddie. Deacon stormed out as Rayna was called back to stage.


Like Juliette, Rayna left the show early. She begged Teddy to be her partner in this and keep his cool, so they could get Maddie through it. They found their daughter at home, packing her bag. "You lied to Deacon, and to me!" she screamed at Rayna. "Daddy, I want to live with you." Teddy promised Rayna he wouldn't let her lose Maddie.


As Female Vocalist of the Year was being presented, Deacon spun a glass on a bar. He told the barkeep to turn the TV off and threw back the drink. 


"You know what? I'd like another," he said. 

 

Gunnar's demo producer Jack thought his new mug shot would be great for his image, but Gunnar was through playing the outlaw, especially since Scarlett didn't approve. He wanted to play his own music. Jack wasn't interested. Will, meanwhile, tried to smooth things over for his pal, but left when Avery arrived for a 'date' with Scarlett. The exes had an amiable chat and Avery admitted he was sorry it had been Gunnar who'd brought the artist out in her, instead of him. Needless to say, he didn't mind hearing she and Gunnar were on a break. 


Later, Gunnar came home with flowers and apologies, begging for a do-over. Scarlett wasn't sure what she wanted, let alone what they'd had to begin with. She left for her "old friend's" gig, so Gunnar went to talk to Will. He was confused to find his pal in bed with a lady. Will insisted he was going to be the next big thing in country, which apparently required sleeping around to prove he was straight. Before sliding out with his lady friend, he also told Gunnar that Scarlett was out with Avery. Gunnar walked into the bar to find them on stage together, crooning "The Moon is High," a song Avery had written for her.

 

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The next morning, Rayna cried to Coleman, sure Deacon had fallen off the wagon. She was right, of course. Deacon woke up at the bar and still drunk, he went after Teddy. As security pulled him off of Teddy, the mayor screamed that Maddie and Rayna deserved better than a drunk like him and ordered him to stay away from "my family." Later, Gunnar found Deacon puking off his front porch. He called Scarlett and told her to send over Deacon's sponsor. When the three of them burst into Deacon's house, they found that angry drunk Rayna had been talking about earlier. Deacon went after Coleman, pinning him against the wall and yelling that he was through with AA. Then Coleman made him look at how scared Scarlett was. Deacon collapsed in tears.

 

Rayna apologized to Maddie and reminded her they need each other. She said she'd married Teddy because she loved him and also wanted Maddie to have a father that loved her as much as she did. Maddie crawled into her lap and cried.

 

In the midst of all the family drama, Teddy learned the US Attorney's office was looking into his credit union loan. He met with his lawyer, recounting how Peggy had helped him borrow (aka embezzle) money, which he later paid back. There'd been an audit before the election, but Lamar had somehow gotten the auditor to back off. His lawyer suggested they might be able to broker a deal if Teddy turned in Lamar, but Teddy figured Lamar was the one who tipped off the feds. His lawyer said the feds would need a smoking gun to send him to prison and they'd probably go to Peggy to find it, so Teddy met up with her. His jilted ex had indeed been offered an immunity deal, but hadn't talked.

 

"I'm pregnant," she explained.

 

The US Attorney's next stop was Tandy. After last week's failed takeover, Lamar had demoted her. so she'd quit. Interestingly, the feds wanted to talk to her about him, not Teddy.

 

The morning after the CMAs, Glenn showed up at Juliette's with her trophy. She'd won the big award, but it didn't matter. He gave her a hug, and she accepted it. Rayna also showed up to give her support and the divas had their first real conversation at Jolene's graveside. Rayna tried to empathize, but Juliette shook her head. Their maternal loss wasn't the same. "I grew up in the dirt, and now I get to put her back in the dirt," she sighed, revealing she'd been dreading and wanting this day her whole life. She'd tried to be good enough to save her mom, but she'd failed. "You're good enough," Rayna insisted.

 

Back at home, Juliette learned the police had found an SD card at the crime scene. It was too damaged to read. Juliette put it together, but didn't tell the detective it was her sex tape. Just as Jolene's case was closed, Juliette received a letter revealing her mother had sacrificed herself for her. 

 

"I'm so sorry baby," Jolene wrote. "Let me take all the blame, all the scandal, all the ugliness away from you. You deserve to be clean. You deserve to be free."

 

When Deacon came to, Coleman was by his side and up to speed. Deacon wasn't ready to talk, but told Coleman he'd meet him at the 8 p.m. AA meeting and start over with a welcome chip. After he showered, Juliette called to apologize for pushing him away and invited him to Jolene's memorial at the Bluebird. He said he'd be there. Then he popped an aspirin - washing it down with whiskey straight from the bottle.

 

With her Edgehill family in attendance, Juliette gave an honest and warm speech about her Momma, whose biggest dream had been to see her play at the Bluebird. Then, with Avery backing her, she honored her momma's dream.

 

"Nothing is this world is ever going to break my heart again," Juliette crooned as Gunnar dropped to one knee to propose to Scarlett; Will told a guy at the bar to stay away with a panicked shake of the head; and Rayna spotted a very drunk Deacon. Rayna followed Deacon out to his SUV and forced him to give her the keys. She drove, he threw back more whisky and they screamed and cried at each other. Caught up in the drama, Rayna ran a stop sign and then swerved to avoid hitting another car. The SUV spun out and flipped repeatedly.

 

Juliette's song ended.  

 

Find the 411 on the music in this episode on ABC's Nashville website.

 

"Nashville" will return with new episodes this fall on ABC.


 

In the Season 4 finale, Phil hooks his dad up before burying his mom

By Corey Levitan 16 hours ago
blog.sitcomsonline.com
In Wednesday's Season 4 finale -- titled "Goodnight, Gracie" -- the family gathers in Florida to pay its respects to Phil's departed mom. Grandma has left some things for her loved ones. Haley (Sarah Hyland) gets jewelry, Luke (Nolan Gould) a pocket watch, and Alex (Ariel Winter) a lighter and no explanation. (Perhaps it's to burn all her clothes, Haley suggests.)


Phil (Ty Burrell) gets left a task. There's a woman in the retirement community named Annie Fitzsimmons. He is to set his dad (Fred Willard) up with her. Annie is really nice, his mom's letter explains, whereas the other women are desperate and morally corrupt. Phil is upset. When he's ready, his dad should get to pick his own girlfriend. ("That's the big upside to your wife dying," Phil insists.)

Gloria (Sofia Vergara) shows up in a thick black veil, and we soon discover that it has less to do with her Colombian culture than the fact that she is wanted in the Sunshine State for running a brothel. It was her old roommate who did it, Gloria claims, after Gloria left but was still listed on the apartment lease.

Gloria asks Mitch (Jesse Tyler Ferguson) to help clear her name, and he could not be happier to oblige. Dying to get away from the endless, boring paperwork and meetings at his new job, Mitch goes entirely John Grisham on the judge.

The bench warrant, and case, are both dismissed. And Mitch realizes how much he misses the courtroom and should get back to it. Gloria wonders, if Mitch doesn't have anything to do next weekend, maybe he can accompany her to Texas.

Cam (Eric Stonestreet) gets a firsthand taste of how desperate and morally corrupt some of the other retirement-community ladies are when he infiltrates one of their book club meetings. He is such a hit, they invite him to a Mahjong game. This is where he witnesses one woman cheating, another stealing cookies and another slipping booze into her coffee when she's supposedly on the wagon. Cam stirs the pot, as he stirs the punch, by mentioning all of this to everyone.

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Claire (Julie Bowen) walks Phil over to Annie's Fitzsimmons house before he realizes where he's being walked. A gentleman answers the door, which is neither expected nor cool. They pretend to be forgetful vacuum cleaner salespeople who left their wares at the vacuum office.

Cam -- relishing his role as the new community gossip -- informs Phil and Claire that the man who answered the door was Annie's brother, Marv, who -- by the way -- slept with half the woman in this place. This stoplight couldn't be any greener. So Phil returns to Annie, explaining that he's not a vacuum salesman. And he has a genuine moment with the woman, remembering how considerate of others his mother always was. They hug. His mom was right, Annie is really nice.

In the final subplot, Jay (Ed O'Neil) coincidentally runs into the woman who took his virginity while he did his basic training in Pensacola. At first, she didn't remember him, but after a while … she still doesn't. She claims he left something for her. She goes off to retrieve the box she's kept it in after all these years, and pulls out a ring. (No, not his.) This is followed by a medal. (No, Jay never got one.) Letters? (He never wrote any.) It turns out, Jay notes, that this lady "sent more men off to war than Lyndon Johnson."

At the memorial service, Alex pays tribute to her grandmother by explaining the significance of the lighter. (Her grandfather filled her in.) It belonged to Paul Newman. The late actor left it at a restaurant where her grandmother once waited a table on him. She slipped it into her pocket. A customer witnessed this and told her not to worry, her secret was safe with him. That man was to become Alex's grandfather.

Alex used the lighter to light a bunch of fireworks, then explain how you don't get everything you can out of life if you never break the rules.

"Modern Family" returns to ABC in the fall.

 

Team Shakira and Team Usher teeter on the brink of a wipeout

By Ken Barnes Tue 11:47 PM

'The Voice'/NBC

 

 

'Adorn' shame: Shakira's choice of Miguel's hit 'Adorn' proved unfortunate for Kris Thomas, far right, on 'The Voice' Tuesday, while Usher's pick of Coldplay's 'Clocks' struck Josiah Hawley, center, a fatal blow as well. The rookie coaches are down to one contestant apiece.

 

 

The teams of coaches Shakira and Usher were reduced to one on "The Voice" Tuesday, as Shakira's Kris Thomas and Usher's Josiah Hawley were eliminated. Kris was a strong but idiosyncratic singer who wasn't getting the right songs, while Josiah was a pretty good singer, which doomed him in a season overstuffed with excellent vocalists

 

 

Bing: More about 'The Voice' | Video: Watch clips | Photos: See highlights

 

 

Unwary viewers were first subjected to another of NBC's desperation "live recap" hours, rewarding only to those with a copy of my Monday recap close at hand so they could gauge how uncannily accurate and perceptive my takes on the performances were.

 

The results show itself started with a performance dedicated to the Oklahoma tornado victims. Blake Shelton (from Oklahoma) and wife Miranda Lambert did an acoustic version of their song "Over You" that may have been the most moving piece of music in the show's history. Miranda's aching vocal amply revealed why she's the reigning queen of country music.

 

 

Photos: Check out the contestants | Last Night on TV: Get caught up

 

 

After another recap for the benefit of those who missed the previous hour and were pining for a nostalgic look back at the night before, Shakira and charges Sasha Allen and Kris sang the Pretenders' "I'll Stand by You," a song on the borderline of overexposure on these shows but saved by interesting vocals, Kris' in particular.

 

A plug for the film "Fast & Furious 6" ran on endlessly, but eventually the first two results were revealed, which were unsurprising safe calls for Danielle Bradbery and Judith Hill.

 

Blake's team -- Danielle, the Swon Brothers and Holly Tucker -- sang Alabama's "Mountain Music," a well-intentioned tribute to a great American art form, most of which is much better than the Alabama homage. Results came next: Michelle Chamuel survived the Pink cover curse that felled a couple of Idols this season, and Sasha Allen's first venture into contemporary music (Emeli Sande's "Next to Me") proved successful.

 

Usher was joined by Josiah and teammate Michelle for Dusty Springfield's "The Look of Love," a Bacharach ballad that suited neither Josiah nor Michelle at all, and was a bit out of Usher's territory as well. Doling out the results stingily, Carson Daly announced that Sarah Simmons, who rocked the house Monday, was safe.

 

Adam's team -- Amber Carrington, Judith and Sarah -- concluded the musical portion of the evening with another odd musical relic, the Kiki Dee Band's "I've Got the Music in Me," which worked out well enough thanks to the participants' strong vocals. Holly Tucker's gamble in singing a hymn paid off with a safe call, leaving the final four for the episode's last segment.

 

Little time was left to drag out the proceedings, so we immediately learned that Amber Carrington was safe, the third member of Adam's team to make it to the top eight. That left the Swon Brothers, Josiah and Kris, and the underdog duo did it again, giving Blake a clean sweep for the night as well.

 

Eliminated: Kris Thomas, whose attempt to go contemporary ran aground when he couldn't match the intensely stylized Miguel original of "Adorn," and Josiah Hawley, who had a great song, the aforementioned Coldplay's "Clocks," but apparently didn't put his stamp on it.

 

Teams: Blake has Holly, Danielle and the Swon Brothers all still competing; similarly, Adam's Amber, Judith and Sarah are all in the running. Shakira's remaining contestant is the skilled but repertoire-challenged Sasha Allen. Usher has the appealing left-field contender Michelle Chamuel.

 

 

What did you think of Tuesday's show? Connect and sound off on Facebook and Twitter

"The Voice" airs Mondays and Tuesdays at 8 p.m. ET/PT on NBC.

 

Cain, Abel and streets full of the undead

By Vinnie Penn Tue 9:36 PM

 

Still reeling from it being "The Baron" (a chilling Reg E. Cathey) who came knocking on Eric’s door at the end of the first part of the two-part season finale of "Grimm", rather than Renard, I braced myself for the exciting conclusion (as if there is ever such a thing as a conclusion on this show). Admittedly, the quote that kicked off Part 1 should have tipped me off; for those of you who’ve already forgotten it, it read, "Papa Ghede is a handsome fellow in his hat and coat of black. Papa Ghede is going to the palace! He’ll eat and drink when he gets back." The palace clearly implies Eric, but while he sardonically compared Portland to Vienna at the end of the episode you simply cannot blame me for not thinking his hotel a palace.

 

Bing: David Giuntoli  |  ''Grimm'   

 

Part 2 picked up right there, with Eric and Baron seated for a chat. Stoically, Eric asked The Baron if he would be so kind as to show him what he does (i.e. "turn" one of Eric’s servants). That’s when Eric invited Lukas into his room, asked him how long he’d been with Eric (seven years), which Eric deemed long enough. Baron do his thing, Lukas went down, the pain he was in described flippantly as excruciating by his maker.

 

Across town Juliette and Nick picked up where they left off, dinner date-wise, but never got to the actual meal. They declared their love for one another and apparently made up for a year’s worth of lost time in one night. Monroe, too, enjoyed a night of passion with his significant other, Rosalee, though they did dine together first.

 

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Across the pond, Adalind was targeted by Frau Pesch, the Gypsy Queen, first seen seemingly concocting a potion. Not long afterward, thanks to some assistance, she had Adalind unconscious and plunged a needle into the back of her neck.

 

As for the zombies, they were running amok on the streets of Portland come morning, unbeknownst to lovelorn Monroe and Nick. The latter was asked by Juliette if he could take the day off, to which he replied, "If people stopped killing each other." Little did he know! A call from Renard rendered a personal day impossible anyway, with Nick in quick enough to be brought up to speed by Renard about the myriad royal families all seeking out the key – his brother Eric simply being the most determined. Eric then called and he and his brother made plans for dinner – a modern day Cain and Abel.

 

In the first of what would be several stellar scenes in this outstanding season finale, we were then made privy to what the gypsy was up to. She downed what she had actually extracted from Adalind and they switched places. The phone rang. The "new" Adalind answered, while the real one remained unconscious on the floor, imprisoned in an old woman’s frail body. It was Stefania, enthusiastic to tell Adalind how they could take care of Frau Pesch. "I can’t wait to hear," she purred.

 

With zombies creating chaos in Portland and the danger of running out of uniforms looming, Nick responded to a scene only to watch one zombie bite an officer and then leap out a window, bounce off a car and knock three more out. Stunned, but with his wits still intact, he was then able to take one zombie down, plus transport him to the spice shop with Hank. It wound up being the tow truck driver The Baron turned halfway through Part 1 last week. Rosalee found a solution, but it would take three injections and she and Monroe would have to do it all without Nick and Hank, who both had to get back to the precinct.

 

Sean and Eric’s reunion went unexpectedly smoothly, despite the fact that Eric referred to Sean’s mother as a "hexenbiest whore." Eric brought up Nick, inquired about his relationship with Sean and conveyed a sort of respect for the damage Nick had done to their kind. He asked Sean to return to the family, which Sean said he’d consider.

 

Nick returned to the spice shop, Juliette in tow (she announced she would no longer be staying at home and kept out of things), to find the tow truck driver fully recovered, thanks to Rosalee’s antidote. Nick instructed her to make more, as there’d be many more zombies in need of it. He then told Monroe of Renard’s brother being in town and how this could all somehow be related and, furthermore, about the key. He removed it from his neck and gave it to Rosalee to hide. (I must inject here that I found the next scene perplexing; she hid it with documents quite similar to the one Renard’s spy photographed in Vienna, along with a lot of cash. Am I reading into things or ... ?)

 

Back across the globe, the new Adalind met with Stefania. Stefania explained her plan, that she’d need Frau Pesch's heart and Adalind could get her powers back and her child could be born safely. But the heart would have to still be beating. Smirking, Adalind (Frau Pesch) asked how Stefania could possibly manage that. She said she’d lure her there to discuss uniting, only for one of Stefania’s seven sons to sneak up behind her and strangle her. And that’s exactly what happened next; Stefania knew it was really Frau Pesch there all along. The real Adalind then awoke on her hotel room floor, noticed the gypsy’s discarded clothes, pronounced the witch dead and announced another’s return: namely her own.

 

Finally, the zombie confrontation commenced. Nick, Monroe, Juliette and Rosalee took on a legion of the undead. Ultimately overwhelmed, Nick was left to single-handedly take on The Baron in an epic battle that ended with Nick losing him inside one of the vaults where the zombies were being stored. Nick stumbled upon the very same documents that Renard had photographed and sent to him, but also the ones Rosalee seemed to have in her possession (sorry, I can’t let go of it), only to then be surprised by The Baron, who spewed his green ooze in Nick’s face.

 

It all ended with Monroe, Juliette and Rosalee trapped in Monroe’s truck, surrounded by zombies and Eric peering into a defacto coffin, Nick laying there, ostensibly being shipped somewhere where a Grimm won’t continue to ruin Eric’s master plan. Or, perhaps, somewhere where he could be a huge part of it.

 

"Grimm" returns in the fall, on Fridays at 8 p.m. ET/PT on NBC.

 

 

Country singer Kellie Pickler and Derek Hough are the Season 16 champions

By Kate Mulcrone Tue 9:01 PM

'Dancing With the Stars'/ABC
We have our winners! Kellie and Derek are the Season 16 champions! Kellie was beside herself, calling the victory amazing. Their last dance, a boppy jive, ended their season on a sweet note. This victory marks the fourth championship for Derek.

 

Bing: More about 'Dancing With the Stars' | See photos of the cast


In second place were Val and Zendaya. Poor Val was dancing with 17 stitches on his face after Zendaya accidentally elbowed him in the face hours before the finals began. Their last dance, a chirpy, upbeat jive, had the crowd rocking along with them.


Video: Watch full episodes and clips | Last Night on TV: Get caught up


Third place went to Jacoby and Karina. They went out on a high note. Their "instant" salsa had the crowd on its feet, and Jacoby jumping over Karina's head! What a great season the two of them had.


Aly and Mark came in fourth and were eliminated before the final round of "instant" dances. Aly said the experience was the best of her life, words which prompted a standing ovation from the crowd.

 

Did the right star with the Season 16 Mirrorball Trophy? Connect and sound off on Facebook and Twitter.

 

Top singers glide onward while others stress to impress

By Ken Barnes Tue 12:21 AM

'The Voice'/NBC 

'Reason' to believe: Michelle Chamuel ventured closer than usual to the mainstream on Monday's 'Voice,' singing Pink's 'Just Give Me a Reason.' Will the quirky singer's gambit give her enough votes to move on?

 

 

This "Voice" season is shaping up to be an interesting battle – the choices vs. the voices, if you will. (If you won't, I completely understand, but bear with me a moment.)

 

 

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There are seven standout voices: Judith Hill and Sarah Simmons appear to be the early front-runners, but Holly Tucker, Amber Carrington, Sasha Allen, Kris Thomas and Danielle Bradbery are no slouches.

 

The three others aren't quite in the same vocal league (though Michelle Chamuel may end up qualifying). To succeed, they must capitalize on non-musical factors (Josiah Hawley's looks, the Swon Brothers' novelty and rootsy country appeal, Michelle's quirkiness) and distinctive song choices that trigger that elusive "oh wow, I can't believe he/she did that song!" reaction from the voters.

 

 

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So, having stuffed everyone into restrictive stereotypes, let's see how well they held up. After a Maroon 5 performance of "Love Somebody," the band's new single, which further illustrated how much the group has improved since its early days as an immediate radio button punch, Holly Tucker kicked off the show with perhaps the most unusual, though far from the most exciting, song choice of the evening. "How Great Thou Art" is a hoary hymn covered by multitudes of gospel (and many secular) singers; her version was sincere and soaring, but really more of a novelty than anything else in the context of the show. Usher thought it was an "incredible statement," but began to hedge, trying to find a way to express his unease with the performance (and ultimately not succeeding). Shakira thought it was "heavenly" and "heartfelt," Adam thought it showed off the "pristine quality" of her voice, and Blake said she "turned it up one more notch" and called it her "most important" performance yet. Which, since each performance now carries the risk of elimination, it technically was.

 

Judith Hill was "torn" about doing "The Way You Make Me Feel," the song by her former employer Michael Jackson that her coach, Adam, chose for her. That was because she didn't want to seem as if she were exploiting her connection with him, although she also could have had legitimate concerns about it being the third Michael Jackson song in the last 14 "Voice" performances, an alarming ratio in anyone's book. As it turned out, she needn't have worried on the latter count, since it was the best of the three MJ songs and allowed her to show off her upbeat, sassy side without blurring the impact of her formidable voice. And Adam assured her that the performance was "celebrating, not exploiting" Jackson.

 

Blake gave the Swon Brothers the boost they needed with Randy Houser's rousing recent hit "How Country Feels," and the duo possibly bettered the original thanks to their taut harmonies and a fiery arrangement. Shakira said they always lighten her mood and Blake theorized that their momentum is mounting and they "can be stars."

 

Kelly Clarkson's "Breakaway" proved a disaster (one of many) for Lazaro Arbos on "Idol" earlier this year, but Amber Carrington was far better equipped to handle the demanding octave leaps and express the song's emotion. Blake and Shakira applauded the song choice, while Adam posed a syllogism that went, roughly, A) "Kelly is one of the best singers out there," and B) Amber sang a great cover of a Kelly song, so C) Amber has an incredible voice. There was a certain logic to this formulation, even if the conclusion unfortunately echoed Usher's incredible overuse of the word "incredible," which he had earlier employed to describe Amber's talent and indeed found a way to use with virtually every contestant.

 

Shakira decided to take Sasha Allen in a contemporary direction, rightly worrying that Sasha had done too many creaking oldies. The one she and guest mentor Cee Lo Green chose, however, was Emeli Sande's "Next to Me," making the third time in as many weeks that the song had been performed on a TV music contest. (Not that "The Voice" acknowledges song choices on "Idol" and vice versa, but maybe they should take them into consideration.) Sasha sang it with verve and skill, though it was a bit overwrought, as her versions tend to be. Adam and Blake were glad she did a modern song, while Usher (after an "incredible") lauded her for putting her own texture into it. Shakira said it showed her versatility.

 

Josiah Hawley's song choices especially have to stand out, and Monday's did – Coldplay's haunting "Clocks." He rocked it up some, losing some of its ethereal nature, and although his falsetto was functional, he may not have completely pulled it off. Shakira had her doubts, feeling that "Coldplay is so distinctive, any attempt from us mere mortals to evoke the magic is almost mission impossible," and Adam  agreed, adding that Josiah appeared uncomfortable at times. Blake faulted the song for its lack of a lyrical story, while Usher pledged to "continue to nurture your incredible talent."

 

Still, it was an unexpected and delightful song choice, and so was Blake's for Danielle Bradbery, his second triumph in a row: Jo Dee Messina's finest moment, "Heads Carolina, Tails California." Danielle reaches the seats every time on those upbeat, lilting country numbers. Usher upped the ante a little, calling it "100 percent incredible" and saying she made "country cool once again." Blake was pleased with how "carefree" it sounded and appreciated the way she delivers country lyrics.

 

Like Sasha, Kris Thomas has been focused on the oldies, so Shakira and Cee Lo went all 2012 on him with "Adorn," the breakout hit by the new Prince of R&B, Miguel. It was an adventurous and imaginative choice, but there may be a problem with asking these contestants to measure up to exceptionally distinctive artists such as Coldplay and Miguel. Kris's version was colorless, salvaged somewhat by a couple of neatly executed falsetto flutters at the end but no match for the original. Adam and Usher detected a tendency in Kris to "overthink" his performance, and Usher questioned the song choice. Shakira defended it and Kris so fiercely, talking over all attempts to respond, that Usher finally crouched behind his chair in abject terror.

 

Adam's diagnosis of Sarah Simmons' situation was that she needed to display her rock side. It's hard to figure why he thought Jessie J's "Mama Knows Best" was the song to fill that prescription, but Sarah gave it the full Joplin, setting her vocal intensity on "stun." It leads you to wonder how that assault would sound on a song with real meat on its bones. Blake said she "radiated sexy" and was a rocker, and Adam decreed that it was the performance of the night.

 

Michelle Chamuel drew the closing slot and was given Pink's "Just Give Me a Reason," which proved fatal for "Idol" fourth-place finisher Amber Holcomb when no one thought she came close to the original. Michelle fared better, thanks to a more passionate and connected delivery, and it should ensure her survival. Blake loved how "dramatic" she was, and her coach, Usher, contradicted Adam's earlier pronouncement with one of his own: "I'll say that that was the performance of the night."

 

Performance of the night: I'll contradict both Adam and Usher by giving the award to Danielle, though Amber, Judith, and yes, Sarah and Michelle were all contenders.

 

Just look over your shoulder: Something (like elimination) may be gaining on Kris and especially Josiah, and the Swon Brothers, a duo that has reached unprecedented "Voice" heights, can't ever get too comfortable.

 

 

What did you think of Monday's show? Connect and sound off on Facebook and Twitter

"The Voice" airs Mondays and Tuesdays at 8 p.m. ET/PT on NBC.

 

Zendaya Coleman and Val Chmerkovskiy finish first half of finals with a perfect 65

By Kate Mulcrone Mon 8:09 PM

'Dancing With the Stars'/ABC

The finals are off to a great start! This may have been a lackluster season but the stars seem determined to make up for it as the competition comes to a close. Several of the "supersized freestyle" routines incorporated background dancers, which was a fun twist.


Zendaya is in the lead by a single point. Kellie and Zendaya both received perfect 60s for their full-length routines, and it was actually the cha-cha marathon that made up the difference in their scores. This is going to be a nail-biter! Kellie is one point behind (64), and Aly trails Zendaya by four points (61). Jacoby is quite a bit behind with 56 points.


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Even though Val was injured in rehearsals just hours before the broadcast – Zendaya accidentally elbowed him – he insisted on dancing anyway.


The cha-cha relay was a lot of fun! Zendaya and Val owned the floor, placing first and receiving an additional five judges' points. Jacoby was the low man on the totem pole, earning only two extra points.


The freestyle routines tend to focus on technique, but Derek choreographed a very emotional routine for Kellie. The risk paid off! Mark and Aly went in the opposite direction, dancing a sky-high, pole-twirling, cartwheeling freestyle. The energetic routine earned them a perfect 30 as well.


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Here's a rundown of the performances:


Jacoby Jones


The judges' choice round had Jacoby and Karina attempting the jive. This routine was lively and fun, sort of a Broadway/80s hybrid. Jacoby had a bit of trouble with the jive in Week 5, but Len acknowledged that his footwork was much improved this time around. Bruno praised Jacoby's "unlimited supply of energy and power" before rather enigmatically quoting J.R.R. Tolkien to point out that Jacoby lost the beat a few times. Carrie Ann agreed even though she acknowledged that Jacoby brought "the swagger."


Jacoby and Karina's freestyle routine was wild – almost to the point of being out of control. Jacoby owned the dance. Len praised Jacoby's energy. Bruno loved the routine but pointed out a few timing errors. Carrie Ann said the routine "outshined" Jacoby and felt he got lost in the shuffle. This was by no means a bad dance, but Jacoby just didn't bring it the way the three ladies did.


Jive: 27/30

Cha-cha: 2/5

Freestyle: 27/30

Total: 56/65


Alexandra Raisman


Aly and Mark danced the samba for the judges' pleasure. They went for sexy and the risk paid off! Aly had a bit of trouble with samba technique in Week 5. Bruno called Aly "a scrumptious little tease" and praised her clean footwork. Carrie Ann enthused about Aly's all-around dance qualities, and Len liked the choreography.


Aly and Mark's daring freestyle routine had them pole-dancing at the top of the staircase. There were quite a few gymnastic moves worked into the routine as well. All in all, it looked exhausting! Bruno called the dance "futuristic with a touch of exotic." Carrie Ann said the routine reminded her of the days when she "danced the pole for Madonna." Len was also a fan, dubbing Aly "Alexandra the Great."


Samba: 28/30

Cha-cha: 3/5

Freestyle: 30/30

Total : 61/65


Kellie Pickler


Kellie and Derek danced an ultra-glamorous quickstep in the first round. Kellie's lines and footwork were gorgeous and she matched Derek step for step and silly face for silly face. The quickstep was an easy assignment for the pair as they were just one point away from a perfect score dancing the quickstep in Week 6. Len compared the dance to a stamp on a letter, presumably meaning that it was tight. Bruno christened Kellie "the Southern belle of the ball" and called her performance a "technical tour de force." Carrie Ann praised the improvement in Kellie and Derek's body contact.


Kellie and Derek turned in a ballet-like freestyle routine. The focus of the dance was emotional but difficult lifts were woven throughout the routine. It kind of looked like the end a "Dirty Dancing" sequel yet to be made. Carrie Ann gave Kellie a hug and praised Kellie for baring her soul on the dance floor. Bruno said that great dances engage the heart and then gave the couple a standing ovation. Bruno was equally effusive. This was a stunning routine.


Quickstep: 30/30

Cha-cha: 4/5

Freestyle: 30/30

Total: 64/65


Zendaya Coleman


The judges chose the samba for Val and Zendaya. It was a dance that gave them a tiny bit of trouble in Week 4. Their routine was flirty but awfully complicated. Carrie Ann cheered for Zendaya and called the routine magical. Len loved the choreography. Bruno called Zendaya fierce – is that still a thing? – and praised her transitions between fast and slow steps.


In the freestyle round, Zendaya and Val shifted seamlessly from romantic lifts and spins to a hip-hop line dance. They chose to include kids as their background dancers, which was adorable. Len loved how all the different parts of the routine came together as a cohesive whole. Len praised Zendaya's "unique luminosity." Carrie Ann said Zendaya "brought it home."


Samba: 30/30

Cha-cha: 5/5

Freestyle: 30/30

Total: 65/65


Who won over the judges: Zendaya
Who won over the crowd: Kellie
Who needs to step it up:
Jacoby


Part 2 of the Season 16 "Dancing With the Stars" finale will air Tuesday, May 21 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on ABC.


After watching the final four perform tonight, who do you think should win the Season 16 Mirrorball Trophy? Connect and sound off on Facebook and Twitter.

 

Love it or hate it, this was the trippiest hour ever

By Diane Vadino Mon 1:09 AM
Worst episode ever? Best episode ever? Everyone in this episode was as high as a kite or sober as church mice -- and the reaction to the trippiest edition of "Mad Men" ever should be equally polarized. If you love flashbacks to Don's/Dick's time in the whorehouse, you may well have loved it. If you're utterly tired of looking for the roots of Don's huge variety of emotional problems -- well, you might have found yourself thinking back fondly on how great "Game of Thrones" was. 

As we begin the episode on a Friday afternoon, things are not so great at Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce Cutler Gleason and Chaough. Primarily the problem is Chevy: They're only happy with the firm when they're out joy-riding with Ken Cosgrove. They want new, they want different, and everyone is under orders to provide it -- even if that means working through the weekend, and even if it means missing the funeral of the recently departed Frank Gleason. Ted draws the line: He won't be working; he'll be attending the funeral. 
Of course, the SCDP crowd is more amenable to taking on the extra work -- including Don, who's nearly incapacitated by an unspecified illness. When he doubles over, coughing, you almost expect him to start spitting up blood. As did his step-mother, in the first of several flashbacks to his life in the whorehouse: "If the fever doesn't break we'll call a doctor," she tells him. Until then, he's sent to the cellar -- a fate from which he's saved only by Aimee, the prostitute with a beauty mark not entirely unlike Sylvia's. 

Of course, Don's illness might be better termed Sylvia withdrawal: He "loiters" at her door, leaving cigarette butts by the dozen (seems awfully careless for Don Draper, no?), and she begs him to leave her be. He has, of course, no intention of doing this. Instead, he rehearses what to say to her and lines up with the rest of the staff for "a complex vitamin super dose" that's basically speed. Cue several hysterical if WTF moments, including Kenny's instant-gif dancing sequence and Cutler dashing up and down the office stairs. In an uneven episode full of many great moments, this interlude with the doctor also provides us with his asking Roger if he has a heart condition, before administering the shot. Roger, of course, does. "Don't worry about it," the doctor tells him. 

While Don settles in for his drug-fueled weekend, Sally and her brothers are preparing for a weekend in the city with their absentee father. As the kids pack their bags, Betty realizes that Sally's new (and really very short) mini-skirt was a present from Megan offered in exchange for baby-sitting. ("I earned it," Sally says. "On what street corner?" Betty asks, acidly.) Lucky for Sally, she gets another chance to expand her wardrobe: With Don working, Megan asks her again to babysit, so she can meet some theater producers. 

Back at the office, most of the staff is high or drunk, some of whom have arrived straight from the funeral. That's right: It's Saturday, something Don isn't aware of until Peggy fills him in. The creative team tries to hone in on the psychological appeal of owning a Chevy, and Stan and Ginsberg bat around ideas until someone shouts down Ginsberg, the only sober one in the room: "What, I have nothing interesting to say because I'm not on drugs?" The ideas are coming fast and thick for Don, who issues a lecture to Ken on the benefits of him delivering their pitch in person, whether it's the timber of his voice or the sheer force of his ideas: "I don't know whether I'll be forceful or submissive, but I must be there in the flesh. I know you're all feeling the darkness here today. There is an answer that will open the door. This is a test." It's a parody of the terribly annoying guy who's high on drugs, but it's also kind of terribly annoying. Filling out the room is Wendy, who's arrived with the I Ching. She asks Don for a question and follows Don into his office to provide the answer: "Does someone love me?" (That's everyone's question, she says.) "I want to hear your heart," she tells him. "I think it's broken." She looks at her stethoscope. "You can hear that?" he says, his mind clearly elsewhere. Specifically, it's back in the whorehouse of his youth, when he was seen through sickness by Aimee, the whore, and then relieved of the hassle of his virginity. 

In another office at SCDP, Stan is weakly trying to seduce Peggy. "I want you to stop," she says. "No, you don't," he says. He almost sounds sober, and correct, when he does. "I have a boyfriend," she reminds him. Stan tells her that his cousin died, months ago: "My aunt sent 16 letters he never saw." Peggy tells him that he "can't dampen [his loss] with drugs or sex." (In return, he tells her she has a "nice ass.") Stan will get his, with Wendy, while Cutler watches. There's a lot of gross in this episode, not least when we hear later that Wendy is dead Frank's daughter.

Back at home, Sally awakens to discover an older African-American woman rummaging through the apartment. "I raised your daddy," she tells a skeptical Sally, introducing herself as "Grandma Ida." Of course, Sally can't know if this is true or not, so she warily regards the interloper as "Ida" makes her a plate of eggs. Ida prods Sally, and then Bobby (who just wants to watch TV), for the location of her father's watches. (All four of them.) While Ida goes to look for them, Bobby asks Sally: "Are we Negroes?" Sally calls the police, but is interrupted by "Ida." The thief takes off. 

Don's finally wrapping up at the office. He finds an old campaign -- not for soup, as he had first thought, but for Granger's Oatmeal. It held, he tells Peggy, the answers to everything: "If this strategy is successful, it's way bigger than a car," he tells Peggy and Ginsberg. "What's the answer to all of life's problems?" "A Chevy?" Ginsberg asks. "No -- I gotta go." As he approaches his own door, he's running through lines to tell Sylvia, non-sensically: "Sylvia don't close the door on me -- when in the course of human events. No, you haven't heard everything I have to say." He arrives to see the assembly of Henry and Betty, a distraught Megan, and some NYPD. They're there to talk about the thief, who'd been spotted going from apartment to apartment in the building. It could have happened to anyone, the police say: "Everyone who lives in this disgusting city," Betty (newly thin, by the way) spits back. It's too much for Don, who collapses. He recalls the moment when Aimee was thrown out of the whorehouse, and on her way out boasted she had taken Dick's "cherry." That gets him a beating with a wooden spoon, thanks to his step-mother. 

Echoing the moment we see a younger Dick's fever break, here we see Don come to his senses. On Monday morning, Sylvia gets on the elevator with him. She can tell something's changed: "How are you?" she asks. "Busy," he replies, all business now. He calls Sally, to apologize. After she tells him that she believed the woman because "I asked her everything I know and she had answers for everything. Then I realized I didn't know anything about you." He's not about to enlighten her, but he does tell her to "forget about it," which is Don Draper's answer for everything. And then, he steps back from Chevy, saying he'll only review the work shown to him by his underlings. Ted is outraged by what they've produced over the weekend: ""Half of this work is gibberish. 'Chevy' is spelled wrong." Don doesn't care: "Call me around 1970, when they're ready to make an ad. I'm sorry, Ted -- every time we get a car this place turns into a whorehouse." He would know. 


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"Mad Men" airs Sundays on 9 p.m. ET/PT on AMC.