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'The Bachelor': And then there were two

The departing bachelorette offers a master class in doing so with dignity

By Diane Vadino Feb 25, 2013 10:27PM
It's not often that we get to use the term "dignity" on this show -- but indeed, our departing bachelorette gets to deploy some in her final moments. Of course, we'll get to that in a moment -- because first, we have three dates and our last rose ceremony of the season, all in the extremely, ridiculously beautiful Krabi, Thailand. 

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We spend an absolutely insane amount of time recapping Sean's feelings for the remaining three women. In short: Lindsay's fun ("I thought Lindsay could be crazy ... and not a good crazy"), he's super into Catherine ("I could easily picture Catherine and I cuddled up on the couch after a long day with kids around"), and he has an intense relationship with AshLee ("Probably the strongest relationship I have"). Somehow, the show manages to stretch this into about 30 minutes of preamble. Stop wasting our life force, show. 

Tonight begins properly with our first date, with Lindsay. She and Sean together seem like a man and his very agreeable golden retriever. Like, that is not even a gender-specific relationship -- Sean has a lot of golden retriever characteristics. This is to say that their relationship seems chiefly non-verbal (think: smooching), is filled with enthusiasm for each other, and doesn't seem likely to break into dark discussions about their feelings at any moment (of course, Sean has Ashley for that). I really like Lindsay, and her recovery from "girl in the wedding dress" to a front-runner is one of the show's all-time best comebacks. But they really don't seem like they have much to say to each other, right? 

All of our dates tonight are vaguely the same: There's time to swim, a challenge (Lindsay gets to eat a bug), and then the fantasy suite. Before we get there, Sean has some questions for her: Is she ready to move to Dallas? She is, in fact. But what if she weren't? That's one of the weirdest aspects of the show -- it's like whoever got the starring role gets to call the shots in terms of where this potential, actual real-life couple would reside. In real life. On Emily's season, Sean seemed ready to move to Charlotte; now, the expectation is that his fiancee would relocate to Dallas. It's bizarre. 

Lindsay's big challenge tonight is admitting to Sean that she's in love with him, and it gives us our funniest moment: Right as she's about to spit out the words, a troupe of Thai dancers skips in. Awwwkward. She manages it, though, and after a tiny bit of hemming and hawing they retreat to the fantasy suite. 

Next is AshLee. Poor AshLee. Don't you get the feeling that the producers constantly asked her questions like, "What is your biggest childhood fear?" "What does abandonment feel like for you?" "Can you use a metaphor to describe your relationship with Sean?" I don't even think it's her fault -- I truly believe she's at heart a people-pleaser and did what she could to give them what they wanted. 

What Sean wanted was for professional organizer AshLee to cede him some control -- so he contrived a date that involved swimming through what seemed to be a pitch-black cave to reach a private island on the other side. "Is it deep?" she asks Sean nervously. "It's deep," he says. "And it's dark. You're just going to have to hold on to me." AshLee has another metaphor for this: "When you're with the person you love, [it's like] you're going down this dark alley." When they finally arrive at the beach, AshLee just can't stop the verbal assault on Sean's heart: "I don't think there are two human beings that belong together more than him and I." Well, we'll see. After even more hemming and hawing, AshLee also accepts the fantasy suite invitation: "You know where I stand, and I know where you stand, so ... yeah," is how she puts it. 

Catherine's up last tonight, and Sean seems visibly relieved to get to hang out with his "nerdy" friend again. But is it for real? "I wonder if she can truly see herself settling down in Dallas...." (That, again.) Catherine's less focused on the practicalities for the moment: "Kissing Sean in the rain is probably the sexiest thing I've ever done." Soon, she'll call him hunky, and we'll all want to un-hear that. But he is so into her: "I just feel like Catherine gets me more than anyone else," he says. He asks her what sort of life she sees with him, five years in the future: "We would obviously be married," she says. "I'm pretty traditional when it comes to relationships and that kind of thing." She apologizes for her catty sisters and does and her own hemming and hawing over the fantasy suite: "I want to be sure I'm still seen as a lady." She goes for it, anyway: "I fell in love with Sean today," she says. "I know that we're meant to be together." 

OK, then. Sean tells us (and Chris Harrison) that he's made up his mind -- but guess what? Chris has videos from each of the women, and who knows? Maybe one will change his mind. Or maybe one will be edited in such a way that it totally telegraphs who loses tonight and makes her look totally unstable? Maybe? 

Lindsay's video is pure Lindsay: fun, sweet, not hugely substantial. Catherine's is slightly more forceful. And then there's poor AshLee. Watch Sean watch the video and it's immediately clear who's going home tonight. And who wants to bet money that she wasn't the only bachelorette who cried on tape -- but they made sure to include all of her less-composed moments? OK, so no doubt, AshLee's emotional investment has been off the charts -- but we're still getting an edit of her that constantly reinforces that. I definitely think she was invested; I definitely don't think she was unstable. 

That, anyway, is exactly how it goes, after a disclaimer speech from Sean: "This week does bring up painful memories for me [from Emily's season, when he was sent home after hometowns]. I was blindsided by it. I didn't see it coming. My worst fear is that the same is going to happen today. It kills me inside that I might break your heart." 

Safe to say: AshLee did not see it coming. But she stomps off with such magisterial grace -- even if she was way too into him, it's hard not to admire her as she leaves. "Just stay here," she says as he trails behind her; ignoring that, Sean tells her he wants her to go home with closure. In return, she offers the iciest death glare this show has ever seen. 

Sean goes on: "I thought it was you from the very beginning. I thought our relationship ... there was a lot of intensity there. This was honestly the hardest decision I've ever had to make. I think the world of you. I don't want you to ever doubt that." And AshLee just stares him down, and leaves with barely another word. 

So it's all true: AshLee got way too invested, too fast. And in her car interview, when she says that this wasn't all "about laughter and joking and having fun" -- that's probably exactly why she went home. She's clearly still healing, and in a place where just being open to an idea of something coming into her life is all she can handle. And the fact is that if she's not having fun with Sean (and it didn't look like she was, really), he's not her dude. But she'll get there. Maybe as the next bachelorette? Who would you rather spend next season with: her or Des? 

"The Bachelor" airs Mondays at 8 p.m. ET/PT on ABC. We'll be back with all the drama, tears, cocktail dresses and inappropriate touching anyone could handle. 


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38Comments
sallysmith
Feb 28, 2013 5:22AM
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I think that Shawn is a real outdoorsy adventure loving person who likes to challenge himself and essentially force his companions to get challenged too.

He picks things they don't want to do and uses his upper hand to get them to do it so he is looking for someone cooperative and fun and Ashley was too cautious and serious in his mind. 

I think he likes a challenge in dating too..someone not too quick to tell him of their adoration and being soul mates, I think too he may have been reared in a christian home that stressed the man as the leader and he at first thought Katherine might be too independent for himn when her sisters commented but she won him back by being feminine, cute, funny, goofyu and those things he liked.

I think he is a good man but maybe a little immature and into tricks like his dad or family and maybe he thought Ashlee would not fit in or might later not be fun. At one point I thought she might be the one but mostly I thought Lyndsey will be his final pick but I am not 100% sure now as I think Katerine is really growing on him plus she is beautiful, smart and has it all.

I do think Ashlee had a right to feel betrayed and give him the cold shoulder as he did make it seem he was feeling the same way and he knew she would be blindsided and this made him have a harder time as he remembered his season. I think her icy anger affected him more than tears would have She tried hard to maintain dignity and not break down in the car. She luckily had a great family who probably are gonna be mad he broke her heart as they kept stressing don't break her heart..

I think Lynsey is maybe not being herself as she is so agreeable all the time. Katerine is a little more real in who she is but I think he could be happy with either of the,.

I am wondering though what is that letter he gets?  think of the 2 girls Katerine has more doubts about him and maybe it indicates he picks her but she gets cold feet and changes her mind but who knows.

Alice Pirone Kelly (Alice Kelly)
Feb 27, 2013 10:22PM
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You wonder about Sean how childish of him to pick two immature women. Ashley had it

all an loved him for himself. The other two loved his looks and kept calling him a hunk. You.  

can tell by his choice just how immature he is, He chose those two because they are fun,

well life isn't always just fun. Real life isn't so funny Ashley showed herself these two other

girls have not found themselves at all. His values suck, I feel he was the worst since he loved

them all he contradicted himself so many times on what he was looking for. Love is Trust ,

which Ashley had in him she loved and fell for the crap he dished out but didn't mean. The

guy is a child in men's clothes. Grow up

Irises
Feb 27, 2013 12:34PM
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I think Sarah should be the next bachelorette.  She is pretty, sweet and strong having to overcome the physical challenges in her life and been challenged by always being the friends zone with a guy.  I don't think AshLee would be good - too intense.  Des might be okay but I am rooting for ABC to pick Sarah.
Bata_91
Feb 26, 2013 8:22PM
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Same old same old!

Men should grown up! He was runing in the streets for Emily like a maniac and now he push back the same character that he had fall for last time!

Hey come on Sean Dez 'brother was right!

Chris Baron
Feb 26, 2013 7:43PM
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AshLee’s graceful exit just made me think that Sean was even more of a fool for letting her go.  She was the only one of the remaining girls that I thought was actually ready to try and be Sean’s wife, and I know that he is going to live to regret that decision.  I nearly missed the show because something came up last night at work at DISH, but fortunately I was able to catch up this morning.  I am so glad that my DISH Hopper records everything on ABC during primetime and saves it for eight days because I never have to worry about missing The Bachelor.

hawkeyesmom
Feb 26, 2013 4:41PM
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Sean gave Sarah the dignity of letting her go without the dismissal at a rose ceremony. In light of AshLee's understandable abandonment issues, it seemed cruel to lead her on until the final three...although that is better than being let go in the finale. Her icy stare and cold shoulder gave Sean what he deserved when he gave that limp farewell speech!
wish they had been somebody so they could matter
Feb 26, 2013 3:30PM
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Who gives a damn!  Tried to watch this 'reality show' once.  I had rather watch a dog farting contest.  Must more true to life and as Santa says less Ho,Ho,Ho's.
totellthetruth
Feb 26, 2013 3:16PM
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I watched this show for the first time last night and all I have to say is this legalized prostitution. The women are throwing themselves at this guy and he is getting into all of their pants and he doesn’t even have to pay for it.  None of these so called marriages has ever worked out as far as we know so what is the point?  Next time someone argues the “Sanctity of Marriage” I will just have to point to this sleazy show and laugh my **** off!

MacGeorge2
Feb 26, 2013 3:14PM
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What's with the letter we see in the preview? Is it from Ashlee? Des? Or maybe one of the two remaining as they run away? Waiting two weeks will be rough. At one point he gets the letter and says "I wish she had told me before." Any ideas???
windyman
Feb 26, 2013 1:40PM
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I feel or it appears that Lindsay is going to be the winner to me! I felt horrible for AshLee, but she got to invested and just didn't think anyone else could be as good as her! Not a good place to put yourself and it is sad that she wasn't paying attention to the other girls in the show as he has to make a choice and you need to never feel totally secure....

I believe he did make a mistake when he sent Dez home, but her brother ruined that and I would want to have a nice relationship with the inlaws after marriage and the brother was just a big bully and a total idiot!!

Pick whom makes you happy and that you feel you can have fun with and that is you're best friend which is what I did!!!


writersblock101
Feb 26, 2013 12:57PM
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I think Sean chose the right two! Who wants to spend the rest of their life being serious and always talking about the abandonment issues?? AshLee probably has the best parents ever....she should focus on them and not so much on her DNA!!!! I have gone through 29 years of marriage laughing and it beats being serious any day! SEAN....pick the funny one!!!!!
kat1994
Feb 26, 2013 12:54PM
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I always thought something was not right about Ashlee.  I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but something about her seemed wrong to me.  I don't know if the last two girls are a good choice for him, but ultimately it's his decision to make.  I wish him only the best he seems like a really nice, caring, honest person.

vanilla dollxox
Feb 26, 2013 12:30PM
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Oh, and that comment he made way back when dumbo whats that dumb girls name who lost her "sparkle" whatever not worth remembering, anyway, about Ashlee about he trusts her, trust wow what a strong basis for a real relationship.  REAL relationship.   come on sean  wake up-- RUN Back TO ASHLEE YOU FOOL
vanilla dollxox
Feb 26, 2013 12:27PM
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Ashlee was the perfect compliment of Sean,  now I'm starting to think Sean doesn't really have it together like I thought.  Sending Ashlee home was a mistake!!!!!!!!!!!!!​! 

 

Sean has lost his way, and fallen into false feelings, I'm wishing he kept it together and stood back and actually looked.  I know he is trying, or it seems that way, but he is missing the mark. 

 

Ashlee would have been the wife that would have made his life whole.

 

Those other two are just too young, please already

 

 

Hinrid
Feb 26, 2013 12:14PM
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What are your takes on the preview of the letter Sean gets at the final rose ceremony?
BReal58
Feb 26, 2013 11:51AM
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WELL WELL...I was wrong thought it would b ash/lynz in the end bcuz though i knew Lynz would b final pick it was obvious ash was the 1 he let keep leading herself on without him brushing any of it off til this last episode bcuz ash i mean started describing the RING 4 him 2 get her & he had not even said the I love u words 2 her.....WHOA so he had no choice but 2 let ash go next! Best way 2 give him any face  he might have still done it anyway bcuz even though he got himself into needing to help create drama in a show he'd been a real jerk if he just kept pulling ash in. I just would NEVER go on a show 2 be engaged or even in love with some1 in what 2-3 mths. Love is seeing u and a person in many situations good bad fun boring for at least a 1-3yrs...REAL situations not Bora Bora....I mean who can b unhappy not smiling giggling there...oh yeah thats right i guess Tiera wouldnt. Sean is a true guy made a bad choice 2 be on a reality show letting his character b compromised played with even if its less then any other bachelor b4 him with these girls. Just 4 him finding the one 4 a no cost ring 2 him and possibly no cost 2 them wedding so they can possibly have a better financial future 2gether for that 1st home of theirs etc.Lynz is a good choice 4 him hes a great sincere teacher needs 2 b a leader in the relationship a natural gift in that area without being diminishing 2 another Lynz needs that she has less of a past in her own story  of 24 yrs thus far. She probably needs a closer walk with God he can help with that she can truly look up 2 him. I just would like 2 see them reveal their true feelings 2 1 another NOT get engaged go off the show and see what REALLY HAPPENS. And a good ending 4 all is... '  I DO  '  ...believe ASHLEY should b the next bachelor-   -ette!

Karen Lenderman
Feb 26, 2013 11:40AM
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Do these men want a real wife that will be just a normal companion, love him, fight for him, live each day in a ordinarily loving way? Or do they want a career women who thinks about having children and then puts them into nanny care or day care for the next 6 years?  I wanted someone soft like AshLee who dearly loves the man and would be another wife like Trista has been....He chooses the outside instead of the inside. These lovely bodies will become grandmothers someday...Will he love that stayed with him personality who loves him like he was 27 again? 
watercat22
Feb 26, 2013 11:22AM
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Sean's  a fool if he cannot see true love when it is right  in front of him. Neither of the  girls Sean 's keeping are really sure they love him. Really do not think fun and goofy is material for marriage. Ashlee truly had feelings that would of been a great foundation for a relationship.  He promised Ashlee that she could trust him, well we see how that went. Bad Move Sean!!!!
manystars59
Feb 26, 2013 11:16AM
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Sean made a big mistake letting AshLee go - of the three, she is the most mature.  Lindsay is not ready and on the hometown visit she said she could see them living there - last night she claimed she was ready to move to Dallas.  Catherine is also immature and her sisters warned him - Sean might get down on one knee, but it won't last with either of these two.

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Deanna Barnert | Los Angeles, Calif.

Entertainment journalist Deanna "TVDeeva" Barnert visits sets, interviews industry players and critiques the final product. Buzz's daytime TV queen covers it all for MSN TV, but loves her sitcoms, soaps and any juicy drama that doesn't call itself Reality TV.

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