'Modern Family': Baptism by rapid fire
Gloria's relatives bring baggage, Lily gets snarky and the God-Philther strikes
By Corey Levitan Jan 24, 2013 1:27AM
In last night's episode, "Fulgencio," the christening of little Joseph Pritchett brings into town Gloria's (Sofia Vergara) mom, Pilar (Elizabeth Pena), who insists that the baby instead be named Fulgencio Umberto. It's after her dead husband and no one can tell her no.
Also in from the village is Gloria's sister, Sonia (Stephanie Beatriz), whom Claire (Julie Bowen) mistakes for her dad's new housekeeper because she offers to do laundry. (“Where’s the river?” Sonia asks, holding a basket.)
Also in from the village is Gloria's sister, Sonia (Stephanie Beatriz), whom Claire (Julie Bowen) mistakes for her dad's new housekeeper because she offers to do laundry. (“Where’s the river?” Sonia asks, holding a basket.)
Gloria feels bad because a letter once came to Colombia about an American job opportunity. It was addressed to Sonia, but Gloria opened it instead and applied, leading directly to Jay and his wealth and washing machines.
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Jay feels bad because Pilar doesn’t like him -- even after he's flown her back and forth so many times and knows what chin tastes like. Claire revels in the fact that her dad has an in-law who, no matter how hard he tries, he cannot win over.
Jay feels bad because Pilar doesn’t like him -- even after he's flown her back and forth so many times and knows what chin tastes like. Claire revels in the fact that her dad has an in-law who, no matter how hard he tries, he cannot win over.
“Son of a bitch," Jay realizes. "I’m Phil.”
Someone’s balloons are blocking Phil’s (Ty Burrell's) real-estate "Phil-board." Phil keeps leaving voicemails to Stravros the florist that get cut off before he fully explains. So he pays a visit that goes about as well as you would expect.
Phil reminds his kids that their mom's handling of their problems is exemplified by the tantrum that got them all banned for life from the best pizza place in town. He decides to go on what he calls a "hug-icidal rampage" to show them how he would solve their problems better.
Phil finds Reuben (Spenser McNeil), the kid who's been picking on Luke (Nolan Gould) because he called his teacher "mom" by mistake. For the neighbor lady who hired Haley to repark her car and received a sheared lemon tree in return, Phil calls and thanks her husband, inviting them out for a drink -- even though the neighbor lady has no husband; only a weirdly deep voice and an alcohol problem. And the charm Phil turns on Karen Sullivan (Gianna LaPera), the girl who stole Alex's (Ariel Winter) Sweet 16 theme, gets Alex uninvited from the party.
Cam and Mitch are worried they’re poisoning Lily (Aubrey Anderson-Emmons) with snark because she says "somebody call a wah-mbulance" and "today, ladies" to her dads. But at church, they hear Claire use the "wah-mbulance" line and realize that she's the bad parent, not them. Also, Mitch discovers -- because he made Cam agree no longer to make critical comments -- that a pair of purple underwear is jutting out of his pants.
And Sonia hears Jay announce that it was not Gloria he sent a drink to when they first met. But Sonia went to the bathroom and Gloria intercepted again.
“You stole my life!” Sonja screams, sparking a kerfuffle so ugly it prompts Jay to declare: "We're in a house of God, damn it!"
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Eventually, Jay and Gloria decide to move Sonia to the States. Still, it will take some time for her to forgive Gloria. And some dresses and some shoes.
Phil embraces his godfather role, like his every other role, with too much relish. Interspersed with scenes from the christening, we're shown how he uses Luke, like Marlon Brando did Al Pacino, to solve his family's problems with violence. Luke runs completely over the neighbor lady's lemon tree by making it look like an accident. Then he lets rats loose at Karen Sullivan’s Sweet 16, stealing a stuffed horse whose severed head he leaves in Reuben's bed. For good measure, he also BB's the "Phil-board" balloons.
"Don’t ask me about my business," Phil tells Claire as Luke closes the door.
As a compromise, the baby is christened Fulgencio Joseph. But, as Jay explains, "no one will call him that."
"Modern Family" airs Wednesdays at 9 p.m. ET/PT on ABC.
1Comment
Jan 24, 2013 10:36AM
I wish I hadn’t missed “Fulgencio” last night. One of my coworkers at DISH told me it was hilarious and even mentioned the “Where’s the river?” joke. I can’t wait to catch up on Modern Family, and luckily, because I have one of DISH’s Hopper whole-home DVRs, I’ll be able to. Although I mainly wanted a Hopper because I wanted HD in every room, my favorite feature ended up being PrimeTime Anytime. It records ABC, CBS, NBC, and FOX during primetime automatically, allowing me to spontaneously go back and watch most anything that is important to me. It’s great for me because I have a terrible memory and am always forgetting to set DVR timers.
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Entertainment journalist Deanna "TVDeeva" Barnert visits sets, interviews industry players and critiques the final product. Buzz's daytime TV queen covers it all for MSN TV, but loves her sitcoms, soaps and any juicy drama that doesn't call itself Reality TV.
