'The Bachelor': And then there were three
One woman's brother puts a major crimp in her style
By Diane Vadino Feb 18, 2013 10:04PM
Unbelievably, we're back from the Caribbean and it's already time for hometowns. It seems like it was just a few weeks ago that Sean met all these women he now interchangeably says have "all the qualities he looks for in a wife." Actually....
First up is professional organizer AshLee, the control freak who fits the description so well that she made it into her actual job. She is into Sean, and there is no talking her out of it, even when she shifts uncomfortably into slightly gushy territory: "To bring home this man ... I have been dreaming about this day as far back as I can remember," she says. A few weeks ago? When she met him? When she saw "Les Miserables"? ("Bring Him Home" ... etc.) Who knows. What we do know is that AshLee's dad -- like Sean's dad -- is a reverend. "I think they're probably pretty similar," Sean says. AshLee's still talking about what was for her a five-star response to last week's revelation that she'd been married, briefly, in high school: "Your response -- I'm not going to cry -- I couldn't have dreamed it would be that good. 'You're not broken?' That's exactly what my dad would say," she says. "You're so handsome -- I love looking at you." Who else needs to think AshLee, for her own sake, needs to dial it down a notch?
AshLee's parents want some of the details on their time together, and AshLee's all too eager to tell them about her ah-ha moment on the shores of Lake Louise. This is definitely the most spiritual description a polar bear plunge has ever gotten: "I stood there and I looked at this lake and I said, 'I have to leave every fear of abandonment behind,' and I jumped in, and in my mind I submerged everything and left it behind and then I came out." It's a good thing AshLee's dad is a reverend, actually, because she's going to need some serious spiritual guidance if this thing with Sean doesn't break her way. Then she tells her parents that "we rolled around in the sand," and really, that was a little bit too much TMI for her parents, anyway. AshLee's mom is generally on board ("Her eyes show she's madly in love") except for the whole part about Sean also dating three other women: "Are you going to break her heart?" "It's certainly not my intention," Sean says. Then her dad asks him nearly exactly the same thing. "She's put a lot of her heart into this, so it's probably a good thing you live in Dallas so I don't run into you [if you hurt her]," he says. "Don't let that weigh on your decision." LOL. Sean officially gets the blessing, but it seems pretty clear that this wasn't a five-star outing.
Next up is Catherine's hometown date -- which, remarkably, looks like it goes even worse. AshLee's date was, roughly, fine -- but Catherine's date comes across as a slow-motion disaster, at least when her sisters decide to do her in. The first half of the date looks fun and normal: "I love Catherine's energy," Sean says. Catherine adds: "I love the way he smells, I love his big beefy arms ... I love the way he accepts me for who I am." Both of them are into their regular-day-out date: "It feels like we've been boyfriend and girlfriend for a while, and this is just something we'd do on a normal Saturday." Catherine teaches him a Filipino gesture of respect for an elder, which involves touching their hand to his forehead. He seems to do this moments later for Catherine's grandmother, to absolutely no particular reaction from her.
Here to provide much more in the way of reaction is Catherine's sisters, who come across as Cinderella's evil step-sisters. First, they tell Catherine that they're not totally feeling the process: "I feel like I'm your big sister, and I support whatever you do, but I feel like you're trying to convince us to like him," one says. (Catherine totally is doing that, but it seems like a pretty forgivable sin.) "I wouldn't be here if I didn't really like this guy," Catherine says. Sean has his turn with them next. "Do you think she's honestly in a place right now where she could settle down?" The short answer to this is "no way." The longer answer is: "She goes in 100 percent with guys and then when fun doesn't work out, she'll just kind of do whatever and obviously she's here," one says. It's not exactly a ringing endorsement. Also, she's messy. "It's not like she's dirty -- it's just, clothes everywhere, at all times," the other one says. And then there's talk of her "extreme moods." If you're looking for a cheat sheet on how to get a guy to stop liking your sister, here you go. There's one last parting shot before we move on. It comes courtesy of Catherine's mom: "This is an adventure; it's vey unique. Can it work? Don't know." And that's all the fun we're going to have in Seattle. "Her sisters brought up things about Catherine that made me doubt our relationship," Sean says. Now, granted, he has incredibly limited time with everyone -- but who else thinks he should lay off Catherine a bit and take the information he got from her sisters with more (many, many more) grains of salt?
Sean looks like he's absolutely terrified of the date with Lindsay -- at Fort Leonard Wood in Missouri -- and this is mostly because her dad is a two-star general. Lindsay, Sean tells us again, has all the qualities he would want in a wife. "I love her youthful energy -- she brings out the kid in me," he says. They get cupcakes, and Lindsay advises Sean to call her dad "Mr." instead of "General." Then she makes him do sit-ups while she kisses him. It's really that boring. Sean says that thing he always says about "I figured out that she was more than just the crazy person in that dress," and then, of course, Mr. General asks if he's in love with Lindsay. Sean's reply: "I'm not in a position to say that right now." Somehow, Lindsay's dad offers the most middling possible endorsement of Lindsay's ability to act as the prime decision-maker in her own life -- the metaphor involves paratroopers -- and Sean shuffles off. The weird thing is that this hometown visit goes way better than the one that precedes and follows it, so this counts as a win for Lindsay.
Finally, we come to Desiree's date in L.A. Des takes Sean hiking: "The other dates are so extravagant and I really enjoy to take this time as a real couple." They go back to her apartment to prepare dinner for her parents and brother, and that's when things begin to get weird. First, a random dude shows up on her doorstep and begins shouting: "Des, I love you -- I've been texting, calling -- where the hell have you been?" "I've been busy," she says. Written out like that, it looks like the sixth-grade play it sort of is. "You're going to be with this actor?" Des's "boyfriend" asks her. Sean's fists are clenching, but then ... surprise! It was all a surprise. "Gotcha!" Desiree says. She has now officially paid him back for making her believe that she had destroyed a priceless sculpture, earlier in the season.
If only Des had been so lucky the rest of the night. Trouble's coming, and his name is Nate. "Just don't fall for it," Des's brother advises her. "I'm thinking this is like not going to work -- this is stupid, almost." This all comes across as partly what every brother/father/mother/sister should do in this situation, and partly just annoying and embarrassing. Nate eventually sequesters Sean for a private tete-a-tete. "She's really into you, but you're not really into her," Nate says. "Are you really that into her?" Sean says, "I'm crazy about your sister." Nate's reply: "You're crazy about a lot of girls, right?" If only he knew. "I think you're just a playboy -- you're having fun with the circumstances." Sean is getting riled up all over again: "I'm sorry I gave you that opinion, but that's not me." Sean takes off what seems to be pretty soon afterward. Des doesn't even know how badly things have gone at this point. "I'm really disappointed," Sean says. "It's not at all how I wanted the night to end."
Sean and his heavy heart go back to the mansion for the rose ceremony. Lindsay and AshLee are safe, he says -- but as for the other two, it's anybody's guess. "I was really hoping for clarity, and I didn't get it," Sean says. "I'm confused." He mostly seems subdued by the prospect of Nate being at his dinner table for all time and forever, but of course he wouldn't be, and besides -- could it really be true love if Sean is so easily swayed by an obnoxious in-law? Doesn't everybody have one of those? That's not how Sean sees it: "He's always going to be there, and he's probably always going to get under my skin." Meanwhile, he's feeling down on Catherine because "she's very independent and she definitely has big, lofty goals." Yikes?
Right as the rose ceremony is about to begin, Des pulls Sean away for a private talk, which mostly consists of her crying and probably wishing her brother had never been born. They return, and Sean gives roses, as expected, to AshLee and Lindsay. As for the final rose, Sean puts it down ... and just walks off, to stare at pictures of the four women in that weird little room off to the side. "I am having a hard time here," he says. Chris Harrison, who doesn't seem to be enjoying this season nearly as much as Emily's, is moping and tells him to "get this right and take your time."
It's Des who's going home. Is it her brother's fault? Or was her brother right the whole time and Sean just wasn't that into her? Would she have gone home tonight if Nate hadn't shown up for dinner? "You have every quality I'm looking for in a wife," Sean tells her, which is almost exactly what he said about to Lindsay to her dad. A tearful Des is not feeling it: "I honestly feel like i can make you the happiest." "I've been praying for clarity this entire time, and this rose ceremony i didn't get it," Sean says. Either way, Des is on the way home, after a hug that lasts an uncomfortably long time. "I'm going to miss you so much -- I really am," Sean says. Des's reply: "Then don't let me go." He does, though.
Who has a guess for what her relationship is with her brother by now?
41Comments
Feb 20, 2013 3:36PM
WATCH the show? For those of you who think Des had a boyfriend show up, please watch the show again on-line and don't leave the room. The Does anyone really guy was an actor and they said so during the same scene. As for Sean not knowing who he loves, like he said I'm not going to say who I love to her or anyone else until I have the girl I love in front of me and profess my feelings. Why people, because he feels too stongly about saying "I love you" like he was saying "Have a good day."This may be just a show but it's fun to watch and I do route for both sides to find love. Katherine needs to concentrate on her career. She's not ready for love. Her sisters weren't bagging on her they were being honest, If Sean chooses her she'd just tell him "You really don't fit into my plans, good-bye." Wait and see. He's better off with the other two. As for Sean washing his hands of Des because of her brother, who cares. Des is great, she was my favorite until the family visit. Still like you Des but your brother is a handful. Good luck finding happiness without divorce in your future with him around. YES people you DO MARRY THE FAMILY TOO!!!! For someone who is as close to his family as Sean, marrying into a family with that much drama will spell disaster and an unhappy future. I know, I married the man I loved even though his daughters didn't care for me. They are politely nice but cold too. Family gatherings are ackward and uncomfortable. I wouldn't wish those feelings on anyone. Family get-to-gethers should be filled with open arms and hugs; fun times and pleasant memories. My family is like that; it's the way I was raised. For Des and Sean her brother would always be a ticking time bomb. Best he walks away now and cause greater heartache down the road. As for her brother protecting her---NO!! He just wanted to hear himself talk. I got the distinct impression the playboy remark described her brother. That was the way he is so he assumes all men are alike. Not so.
Feb 20, 2013 2:13PM
Feb 20, 2013 2:13PM
Des's brother seemed like a jerk, but although he got the reason wrong--Sean isn't a playboy--he got the right result. He protected his sister from even greater heartbreak down the road. Who on earth would want to marry a man who wasn't sure for which of three he was "developing strong feelings. Catherine is too flighty, Ash is too tender but the general's daughter will rule.
Feb 19, 2013 5:23PM
My heart goes out to Des. She is established in a career, has her own home (apartment) which was tastefully done. She is living and standing on her own two feet. She communicated and presented herself exceptionally well. It was very clear that she is ready to make a commitment, and was very sincere with her feelings. There is no perfect family Sean. If this is the way Sean handles a problem or family situation, Des is better off without him. Catherine's family clearly gave Sean all the true facts about Catherine, he just didn't pick up on what they were telling him. I pray that Des finds the best man for a husband that will love and cherish her the way she should be. I hope my two sons find a Des when they're ready for a commitment. God Bless You Des!
Feb 19, 2013 4:55PM
This is the 25th installment of the Bachelor/Bachelorette series. Right now they are 3 for 24 and that translates into a 12.5% success rate and one of the success stories is Jason who dumped who he selected (Melissa Roycroft) only to marry his second choice. Whoever Sean picks it will likely end up in flames like most of them have. This is entertainment and creative editing, not reality. Look to see Des on Bachelor Pad this summer.
If one truly believes that Des was dumped because of her brother then one would have to lose respect for Sean since the creative editors sure made it look like she was the one he was really hot for.
I'm ready to not watch anymore. I'm tired of 2 hours of platitudes like "I can see her as my wife in the future" or "She has all the qualities I'm looking for in a wife" or "She is the sweetest person and I can see her in my life"...yawn. The only entertainment I've gotten out of it this season was Tierra and we all know she was picked for the show for the drama factor.
Feb 19, 2013 4:53PM
Feb 19, 2013 4:32PM
Feb 19, 2013 3:00PM
I see so many people blaming the brother, but if this was a real-life relationship scenario between two people "meeting the family" for the first time, a partner truly invested in the relationship wouldn't just dump that person on the spot because they didn't quite hit it off with the brother. Now, granted, extremely difficult familial relations can eventually end romances, but you don't wash your hands of the whole thing like that unless you're simply not committed.
Which is why Des' brother was right - how can you be willing to commit to one person when you're hedging your bets with four? "Contestants," "competition," and "love" are three words you shouldn't use together.
Feb 19, 2013 2:32PM
Heard the rumor it's Catherine he chooses, as well. Which would make last night a feeble attempt to throw off the viewers..Can't help but think that she is a bit insecure in herself though...why else would she be having meltdowns about her own self worth? Perhaps she needs a bit more maturity, or maybe even a bit more "relationship" experience before she reaches the point that she KNOWS herself and is really READY for a long term commitment.
Feb 19, 2013 2:14PM
Feb 19, 2013 1:45PM
Feb 19, 2013 1:24PM
Feb 19, 2013 1:13PM
Feb 19, 2013 12:30PM
Feb 19, 2013 12:12PM
He needs to ditch Katherine like a hot potato. Even she's shocked she made it this far; the visit with her family was forced and awkward. It's so clear what an immature, insecure jerk Des' brother is- his jealousy of Sean was seething. The fact that his childish rant received an adult response from Sean seemed to shut him up quick. PERFECT example of how an adult should deal with a child. I can only pray that everyone in their community makes this idiot's life hell- Des seems so spineless lord knows she won't. Even her parents seemed more mortified than she. Ashlee seems too "buttoned-up" and I don't think they have any fun at all together. My vote is definitely for Lindsay!
Feb 19, 2013 11:49AM
it is obvious Sean knows better than any of us what he wants. I think Sean has a big heart. I feel for Des, but her brother did her love in, I am with Sean, their relationship would be awful, because he would try everything to damage it. I see Sean with Ashlee, they seem to have a lot in common, and I believe their family backgrounds are the same. Neither of them would be as demanding of the other and I think they could enjoy each other. The other one would be Lindsey, he could have a lot of fun with Lindsey...He loves the outdoor and she would be fun and he could use that...Catherine is to young...and demanding.
Feb 19, 2013 11:43AM
Feb 19, 2013 11:23AM
Feb 19, 2013 11:09AM
I believe that it wasn't just the way her brother behaved. While during Sean's visit, a boy friend of Desiree's boy friend or EX. came, and she mentioned, "now I'm Confused" when the guy confessed his love for her, and that he had been trying to call her. Although not mentioned before and after her elimination, could have also played a part in Sean's decision. Personally, I didn't think she was the one for him.
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