The survivors of ‘Double Deuce’ take a backseat to a brilliant new character
Accepted sitcom wisdom says that when you introduce a baby to the mix, the show goes downhill from there. This axiom was (debatably) applied to “Mad About You” and “Friends”, among many others. Leave it to “Archer” to take that idea and casually, disgustingly, and hilariously eradicate it with inspired use of Wee Baby Seamus.
The key is apparently to carry the baby around by the scruff of his neck like a puppy and let him eat/drink/play with whatever he wants. A short list of these items include: Bloody Mary, shaving cream, straight razor, martini olive, martini, napkin soaked in booze, and ice soaked in booze. Finally, Wee Baby Seamus manages to save the day, by being used as a distraction and a human shield. It’s an unorthodox, but clever solution.
We get more of Woodhouse’s (homoerotically charged and blood drenched) back-story, and learn he is not quite the servile wretch he pretends to be. And the peons at ISIS start their own tontine, or as Sterling puts it “Idiots doing idiot things because they’re idiots.” Just business as usual.
- “Did someone finally out the queen? Right? This baby knows what I’m talking about.”
- “You are going to eat SO many spiderwebs.”
- “I can do baby, or I can do geezer murder mystery, but I can’t do both.”
- “The secret is negative reinforcement.” “Yeah, I’m, uh, just getting that.”
- What was Carol/Cheryl drinking? Glue?
- “Reggie survived the crash somehow.” (“I’ve survived the crash somehow.”)
- “That’s a lot of scalps!”
- “Please! I just killed a man and I think my water just broke, so I could really really use a drink!”
- Reginald is a little too gay. As opposed to Malory.
- “You want me to take a baby to a murder?”
- “I have no more love to give today.” “Yeah, what is it, like, 2:30”?
- “It’s like Steve McQueen and John Woo had a baby, and that baby was you. Baby.”
‘Indianapolis’ puts an end to one relationship while advancing another
It makes complete (if slightly wacky) sense that Chris’ break-up speech would be so infused by his unstoppable positivity that Ann would fail to interpret it as such, and also that this would be the first time “sweet and beautiful” Ann would have been dumped. And it was also believable that Leslie would blow off accepting her commendation at the state capitol in order to drive her friend home and comfort her with her own break-up horror stories (“Skywriting isn’t always positive.”) The Leslie Knope of the first few episodes of season one wouldn’t necessarily have done that good deed, but the Leslie Knope that we all know and love now definitely would.
Meanwhile, back in Pawnee, Tom (“Am I wearing an ascot? I didn’t notice.”) Haverford is throwing a party at the Snake Hole for exotically named Dennis Feinstein, who is launching his new fragrance Allergic (not Antihistamine, mind you). Although Ben is resisting getting close to the P&R staff, since he is only temporarily visiting, he eventually succumbs to Tom’s insistence that he attend. By bucking up Tom when he fails to pitch his own fragrance (“Tommy Fresh”) to Feinstein, and realizing the gang really does regard him as a friend, he moves ever closer to becoming an adorable romantic foil for Leslie.
Speaking of adorable, how cute was watching Andy (“We could watch TV at Best Buy”) Dwyer and April (“I don’t like labels. Go away!”) Ludgate run around the Snake Hole scoring free stuff? The writers always veer away with the easy Three’s Company-type misunderstanding route, such as having Andy tie himself in knots to try to fool April into thinking he has the cash to take her out. Instead, he is immediately up front with her, she responds that she doesn’t care, and they start having a ridiculous amount of fun. Best of all, they give all the money back to the wait staff. But keep the toilet paper. Naturally.
- Rob Lowe is still a regular on the series, so we can only hope he will be back in some way, if only to keep tormenting Ron with Portobello mushrooms in place of his beloved steak.
- Speaking of Ron Swanson, I can’t decide on the funniest moment of the running gag about Ron and his Mulligan’s Steakhouse obsession. Stating he eats bits of meat off of his mustache for a month following his meal? Possibly eating all of the bacon and eggs in Indianapolis?
- “In high school, they used to call me Angela Lansbury. But that was because of my haircut.”
- Feinstein’s prior fragrance creations: Attack, Yearning, Thickening, Itch, Coma, Sideboob.
- “I got these from a waiter; I told him I had a pork deficiency.”
- Leslie’s ideas for Ron’s dilemma: A 24-hour diner, or kidnapping a cow and making their own steaks.
- “My dad owns this place. I’m Janet. Janet Snakehole.”
- What might Chinese food in a birdcage smell like? Or a teriyaki hairpiece? (Those are totally rhetorical questions).
- “It’s called a Tommy-tini; it’s just vodka and a bunch of cinnamon.”
Jeff and Annie butt heads and make up in ‘Intro to Political Science’
Community college student governments (and politics in general) are pretty easy targets for satire. Although it didn’t have much to say that was new, “Community” came up with a good showcase for the disparate personalities of Jeff and Annie, and an original and very funny subplot for Abed.
Annie embraces an earnest and idealistic attitude towards her candidacy, while Jeff joins the race for student body president to prove that politics is all about “ego, popularity and parlor tricks.” The episode doesn’t make a big deal out of the fact that he turns out to be right, as Annie only defeats him after exposing his 1997 George Michael-tastic audition tape for “The Real World”. Instead, it allows these two friends to admit they were both pursuing power (such as it is) because of their own issues of competitiveness and control, both with themselves and each other. Their hesitant romantic coupling seems to be evolving into a big brother/little sister relationship, which is more appropriate for a “young idealistic kid” and whatever Jeff is acting like these days.
Equally sweet and even more amusing, Abed starts a tentative and decidedly weird “romance” with Robin, one of the Secret Service agents assigned to scout out Greendale prior to Vice President Biden’s visit. They bond immediately, as fellow “observers” and outsiders unable to connect with many other individuals (as well both of them being confused by the concept of the children’s game Duck Duck Goose). Abed’s undefined Asperger’s-like issues make it very hard to put him in a realistic romantic pairing, but this one was somehow believable while being satisfyingly odd and silly.
There was plenty of room for the other members of the group, as well as tertiary characters and random extras to have the spotlight, from Britta’s annoyingly anarchistic speeches (“I believe that humankind need not be governed!” being met with radio silence by the crowd) to Troy “Buttsoup” Barnes offering pointless news commentary on Greendale Campus Television (Garrett: “That guy’s just a mess. It’s like God spilled a person.” Vicki: “Yellow shirt. Hat. Girl.”) Best of all, Dean Pelton wore a ladies Uncle Sam suit with slivery short shorts and a headband hat for almost all of the running time. You really can’t go wrong with that.
- Thankfully there was very little Pierce in this episode, who is inexplicably accepted back into the study group (“I assume”). Still his “candidacy” was good for a few chuckles. (“My platform will be one high enough to push Vicki off to her death.”)
- “I’m more of a silverback gorilla with the claws of a lion, the teeth of a shark and the quiet dignity of a tortoise.”
- Annie is “easily vexed”. Sounds about right.
- “It’s a real guy. He owns a mattress store downtown. You can look it up.”
- Best moment of Jeff’s insincere speeches? His Spanish-flavored pronunciation of Maria, Latina, Nicaragua, and cafeteria.
- “We don’t even know how to do “margins of error”; we talked to two people at a vending machine.”
Actor Allan Hyde is set to reprise his role as Eric's maker
‘The I of the Storm’ features more of the mysterious Boyd Crowder
How long does it take to live down your troubled past? Whether you are fighting addiction, a return to a life of crime or even just mundane bad habits, every waking hour is full of temptations. You can try to tightly tamp down your feelings, obsessively schedule your time, avoid old acquaintances and watering holes, every trick in the book. But at the end of day, there is still the possibility that, no matter how sincere and committed you are to your new self, not one person believes that you are capable of real change.
That is what we see in tonight’s “Justified” in the outwardly quiet but inwardly seething Boyd Crowder, played superlatively by Walton Goggins with his usual intensity and depth. Boyd has been through so many different personas: maniacal white supremacist, wild-eyed born-again Christian, cold-blooded killer, and now tightly coiled loner. He is working night shifts in the coal mine, pounding back a lot of bourbon, living with his sister-in-law Ava (platonically it seems) and generally avoiding as much human contact as possible. But the world of Harlan won’t let him be. When he finally explodes on the wanna-be Nazi rednecks in the end, dragging the ringleader by the neck out the window of his truck, it is a release that has been building since his father left the bodies of his “followers” swinging in the trees in season one. It would be tragic if others’ lack of faith (most importantly from his old friend Raylan) is what drives Boyd back to more violence and mayhem.
Meanwhile, the schisms amongst the Bennett clan are coming into focus. Dickie is looking to expand from pot to hillbilly heroin, without his mother’s knowledge, and his corrupt but seemingly practical cop brother reads him the riot act about bringing the “Dixie Mafia” down on their heads. Raylan has already dealt with this crowd last season in “Hatless”, so it looks like he will have his hands full in the future.
This all sounds very serious, so maybe it’s time to mention again how this show is incredibly FUN? Everything to do with our favorite gator poacher, Dewey Crowe, was pretty hilarious, particularly his low-rent imitation of Federal Marshal Raylan Givens. And Nick Searcy is having a whale of a time getting under the skin of his trigger-happy underling (“Unless you roofied me. Did you roofie me, Raylan?”) You see? Fun.
- There is a really interesting vibe from Doyle Bennett, and how he handles his dual role working with his family’s criminal enterprise while ostensibly keeping the peace in Harlan. Although it is obviously leading to some sort of rift with his less conflicted (i.e. stupider) brothers,
- Is there any woman on the show (or earth) who doesn’t have the scorching hots for Timothy Olyphant? Even the two minute scene with the trashy C.I. made that plain. (“Am I the man you saw?” “LORD NO.”)
- “Are you speaking Martian, Doyle?”
- Let’s not have another episode without Margo Martindale, OK?
Nobody seems to really know, but many fans on the Internet seem sure
If you've taken a look around the 'net this morning, you're likely to think that it's Bart Simpson's 32nd birthday. But is it really?
Here's what we do know: "The Simpsons" debuted in December 1989 (after first making an appearance on "The Tracey Ullman Show" in 1987). And we also know that Bart's never been a day over 10 on the show.
So what's so special about Feb. 23? One sharp writer over here takes a pretty good look at why this might be the case. What do you think?
In the meantime, here's a clip of Bart's birth ... even if we may never know exactly when that is:
Mr. Schuester and the Glee Club take a shot at drinking
By Rachel Stuhler
This week on Glee, it seems McKinley High has a teensy little problem with students getting drunk between classes, leading to lots of inappropriate behavior that probably seems funnier to those who are actually drinking. Principal Figgins (Iqbal Theba) commissions Mr. Schuester (Matthew Morrison) and the glee kids to perform at an alcohol awareness rally that will surely turn the wayward students around.
Puck (Mark Salling) senses a change in the wind when Rachel's (Lea Michele) parents go out of town (maybe it's like bad boy dog hearing?) and convinces her to throw a party. Mr. Schue nurses fresh heartache as the newly married Emma (Jayma Mays) starts to settle into domestic bliss by trying to buy a tract house.
"Don't You Want Me," The Human League
Puck rescues Rachel's incredibly lame party by busting into her dads' liquor cabinet, starting a wild night that leads to a very confusing kiss (and eventually a date) between Rachel and Blaine (Darren Criss). For these two performers, the best way to express their alcohol-fueled attraction is through song, in this case the ‘80s hit "Don't You Want Me," from The Human League.
"Blame It (On the Alcohol)," Jamie Foxx featuring T. Pain
In a teenager's mind (as well as several rock stars I can think of), the best way to get rid of a hangover is just to start drinking all over again. With a thermos full of Bloody Marys, Artie (Kevin McHale) leads New Directions in a rendition of Jamie's Foxx's "Blame It." They try to convince Schue it's perfect for the assembly, but it doesn't fly.
"One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer," George Thorogood
With all this talk of booze, it seems even the teachers have to get in on the act. Coach Bieste (Dot-Marie Jones) takes Mr. Schue out for a honky-tonk good time at Rosalita's Roadhouse and after a spin on the mechanical bull, the two take their turn up on stage with a rousing version of "One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer." It's unfortunately not enough to make Will forget his heartbreak, though he sadly does forget Emma's number when drunk-dialing her — and dials archnemesis Sue Sylvester (Jane Lynch) instead.
"Tik Tok," Ke$ha
The glee club burns through that liquor cabinet in a week and Rachel must cobble together a purple, alcohol-laced, cough syrup concoction to get them through their nerves before the assembly. The courage juice doesn't sit well, and soon the kids are spewing gray gunk all over each other. Clueless Figgins thinks it's a scared straight stunt, saving the club from a mass suspension.
‘Crossroads’ brings a questionable triumph to the former champion.
“I just like to punch people” – Patrick “Lights” Leary
There was a lot of irrational exuberance running through tonight’s episode. Johnny and Lights had a meaningful talk and managed a reconciliation, Daniella unburdened herself to her Aunt Margaret and made her peace with her father’s renewed presence in the ring, and Theresa is firmly back in her husband’s corner, cheering him on and making out with him like a teenager. And, most important, Lights (and his father) whipped himself back into amazing shape and knocked out the scariest fighter in the world. Everything’s coming up roses and lollipops right?
Except it doesn’t seem remotely possible that Morales didn’t throw this fight.
The most glaring evidence is the startling turnabout in the second round. Although Lights is in the best shape he could possibly be in, he is clearly overmatched for the entire first round. Morales is fighting dirty with punches to the groin, head butts and whaps to the back of the head. It’s true that when Patrick locks eyes with his “good luck charm” Theresa, he regains focus and steps up to give out some fast punches. But the shocking change in fortune as Morales quickly folds just isn’t plausible. It seems clear that Pops Leary is aware of something wrong, although he won’t hurt Patrick’s pride by raising the issue. And the writers have done too good of a job of showcasing “El Diablo” as extremely dangerous, but also a cartoonish and posturing egotist. Unlike Patrick, there is nothing in his character to suggest that he possesses any integrity or true passion for the sport. Since the clear goal of Brennan and Word (the real power brokers) is the rematch between Lights and Reynolds, it would make perfect sense to pay off Morales as a stepping stone to the inevitable bout. Maybe I’m wrong? We’ll see.
Still, it was uplifting to see the champ really act like “The Champ”. Holt McCallany didn’t just look like he lost all that weight, he seemed more buoyant and less oppressed than ever before. Like Johnny said to him, “The closer you get to the ring, all this other crap is going to fade away.” Unfortunately, there is no doubt lots more crap will be coming his way.
- “I’ll give you fifty dollars right now if you go to hell.” Stacy Keach is the master of the deadpan.
- Barry really knows his Shakespeare. Othello and Iago is an easy one, but Beatrice and Benedict? That might be a stretch.
- If it wasn’t clear by now how Johnny keeps working his way back into his loved ones’ good graces, that heartfelt pep talk while he kneaded Patrick’s hands was a clear indicator.