Malory finds a solution to her money problems in ‘A Going Concern’
Does anyone have any ideas about how to keep these blog posts from devolving into a list of the funniest moments from one of the funniest shows on television? There really isn’t much point to summarizing the nonsensical plots; there is never any character “development” to speak of, and there are never any real consequences to anyone’s actions. But “Archer” is making an effort to have more serialized plots and through-lines, and level of creativity does seem to deserve a bit more consideration.
Big Boss Malory Archer lost everything in a Ponzi scheme and decides to sell ISIS to competitor (and ex-flame) Len Trexler, and marry him in the bargain. Pretty much everyone expects to be fired, except for Lana – who will be promoted to regional manager if she has sex with Barry (and Other Barry, presumably). So the rest of the office gang hatches an insanely complex plan for the awesome Kreiger to implant a mind-control chip in Odin’s brain and perform a “modified Ludovico” to make him despise Malory. And fall in love with some lettuce and a bunny named Rabbert Klein, which is just a bonus. Surprise – it all works out in the end!
Have we mentioned that Pam spends the entire episode in cornrows and smoking a giant spliff, as she just got back from Jamaica? Or that Ray Gillette has to talk Archer through a sidesplitting scene of turning off his mother’s vibrator after he breaks into her desk? As Archer sighs, “There’s not enough liquor and therapy in the world to undo that.” Luckily, viewers don’t need either to enjoy every minute of “Archer”.
- “Or whom?”
- “Those are your words. And. Also mine. Yes.”
- “My plan is to crowd-source a plan!” (“Thanks, Noam Chomsky”)
- “My earballs!”
- “A little thing I like to call a deep cycle marine battery. Or LSD.”
- “I know it’s just killing you that she’s leaving you for another man.” (“Phrasing!”)
- “Barry, how’s your shattered femur?” “How’s your creepily child-like feeling of maternal abandonment?”
- “It wasn’t a conversation, Lana. I was just talking TO my gun. Not WITH it. Pretty big difference.”
- The horrifying Ludovico images include the words “Famine”, “War” and “Old People”.
- “Barry, for the love of all that is green, take me and Rabbert to the lettuce store.”
‘Advanced Dungeons & Dragons’ tries to walk the line between fact and fantasy
Just how incredibly irritating, off-putting and downright mean can you make the people in a sitcom? “Friends” pushed Ross’s pomposity and Monica’s obsessiveness to extremes over ten seasons, but to portray one of the main characters as a world-class jerk early on is taking a great risk. For the most part, the darkness of Pierce’s cruelty weighed down on the playfulness of this episode too heavily.
There was still plenty of enjoyable nonsense going on. From the hysterical names given to all of the players (“Marrrrrrr”, “Bing Bong the Archer”) to the plummy-voiced British over-narrating of all of the action (“And as they described themselves walking, so did Abed confirm they walked.”), the set-up was detailed and very funny. There was room for a couple of priceless set pieces, including Annie and Abed’s silent but shocking explicit sexy role-playing and Britta’s emotional good-bye to the dying “gnome-waiter” (“My name was…Kyle”.) As usual, the cast totally committed to the escalating absurdity of the events; they know their characters inside and out and it shows.
Chevy Chase seems to slip into the skin of “Pierce the Insensitive” (or “Pierce the Dickish” or “Grandpa Flatulent”) almost too well; there was no winking at the audience during any of his scenes. He set out to crush poor Neil and win the D&D game, full stop. Only when Neil called him out for what he is – sad, pathetic and lonely – did Pierce sabotage himself and lose the game. All credit to the writers for following it through; even though Neil (out of pity) offered to play with him again, it seems that Pierce has been abandoned by the study group. Will this thread play out over the next few episodes? Stay tuned.
- “It was Annie, the Day Planner, herself a recovering head case, that recognized the signs of coming doom.”
- “I’m an elf, not a nerd.”
- “Shouldn’t there be a board, or some pieces, or something to Jenga?”
- “Dial it back, Lavernica”
- “I attack them using my….additional notes.”
- “You’re the AT&T of people!”
- “If that’s sarcasm, I can’t tell, because everything in this game is silly.”
- “One, don’t screw with me. Two, invite me to your crap.”
- “If you had a tail, people could always tell when you were happy.”
The series goes on a break with the breezy, cute ‘Cry to Me’
Possibly one of the tiresome comedy tropes has got to be “What is up with women wanting to talk about their feelings all time?” (or as this one show said it last season “Bitches be loco!”). Combining it with a Valentine’s Day theme seems like a no-win situation. But by narrowing it down to how Jules seems to need Grayson to “open up” more than anyone (ever ever EVER), “Cougar Town” sidestepped the most irritating aspects of their A-plot. It did not manage to avoid making some of her actions fairly disturbing (the final shot of her watching him cry while shoving popcorn in her mouth), but her specific brand of crazy kept the storyline fairly lightweight.
The B-plot of Andy and Ellie, as silly and over-the-top as it was, actually resonated more deeply. It is good to see a couple that truly understands each other’s needs, even if that “need” is to sit in the street and watch a giant flaming pile of Christmas decorations. And in the designated throwaway plot, Travis indulges Kirsten’s request for a “sexy” Valentine’s Day picture, with predictably cringe-inducing results, and Laurie as a sexy pose mentor/coach. Even Barb’s contractually obligated cameo was risibly funny – mostly because of the horrified reactions of the passers-by. Although I’m giving “Mr. Sunshine” a try, I am really going to miss the Purple Tooth Crew.
- The “Circle of Love”/ “Circle of Anger” is a perfect encapsulation of why I love this show.
- “I don’t even think I have tear ducts.”
- “Like Ryan Reynolds riding a horse or something?”
- “Let me guess – you guys finally kissed and only one of you loved it.”
- Of course Neighbor Tom would still have his Christmas decorations up.
- Favorite Tom moment #147 – righteously Hoovering up the sticky buns.
- “Captain Emo’s been following me around, yapping about romance and vomiting I love you-s all over me.”
- “I made a joke!” “Laugh!”
- “It didn’t mean I wanted to be alone while you acted like you just got a rose on the gay, hillbilly version of The Bachelor!”
Kevin Williamson to take on new show based on another series by 'Vampire Diaries' author
But today, the site reported that Williamson instead is on board as showrunner of another CW series in development, "The Secret Circle," which, like "VD," is based on a series of books by teen author L.J. Smith.
Fans of "VD" are in for a treat with the new show. The Smith trilogy, first published in the early 1990s and co-produced, like many CW shows, by Alloy Entertainment, follows the travails of 16-year-old Cassie, a California girl who finds herself as the new kid in spooky New Salem, Mass., a shore town that hides some sinister secrets of its own. The sure-to-be-smoking teens she encounters are witches -- and eventually she finds out that she happens to be one of them, her half-witch lineage buried by her mother, who fled when her dad died years ago.
With Greek goddess roots, a conflicted heroine and careful crafting, Smith's "Secret Circle" should lend itself well to the CW treatment, although it will be interesting to watch how far Williamson and potential producing partner Julie Plec ("Vampire Diaries") stray from the original storylines. Their reworking of "Diaries" has made the material far stronger than the original series (though some fans of the books may disagree), and Williamson always has that magic touch with teen-oriented material.
Are witches the new vampires? Will you be watching "Secret Circle?"
Some secrets are revealed on the way to the inevitable rematch
It’s always difficult to determine how long to keep your characters in the dark about information that the audience already knows. Keep it hidden just long enough and it creates wonderful suspense; but drag it out too long, and viewers start to get strangely irritated with the people who are uninformed. Because it is easy to identify with Lights and all the burdens he is carrying for his extended family, Catherine can start to seem (to the audience) like a greedy unsupportive shrew. Of course, by making a pledge to support her parish priest in his rehabilitation of a Haitian medical clinic, she has no idea she is promising money that she does not have, and it is Lights who is in the wrong by not telling her about the disastrous state of their finances. So it is an immense relief when he finally comes clean.
Or does he really? Lights sometimes seems almost willfully obtuse about the severity of his situation. He certainly has a huge blind spot when it comes to Johnny, who in addition to being a terrible business manager is apparently also a degenerate gambler and ex-drug addict. In order to get Johnny out of trouble yet again (if only temporarily), Lights fights a bloody and brutal “cage match” against a former MMA fighter-turned-bookie-muscle, and gets in even deeper with Brennan. Once again, Johnny mutters his mantra – “You don’t have to do this, Champ.” But we know, as long as Johnny is still around, the Champ will be called upon to do increasingly dangerous things to help the people that he loves.
Some other thoughts:
- I am most definitely a lapsed Catholic, but do parishioners really stand up and pledge money publically after a little good-natured guilt tripping from a priest?
- It is nice to see Papa Leary is basically a decent and kind man – loving to his grandkids and affectionate with his sons. Which made it all the more poignant when he told Lights to talk to Johnny about a loan (“He handles my savings.”) Funny and sad at the same time.
- Lights really would make a good trainer, as he is the only one who knows how to handle Omar and his immature mood swings.
- "Guilt rings"? Uh-oh – the only context I have for that is Kobe Bryant.
The former Veronica Mars star signs on for a new Showtime pilot
TV's newest superhero talks nemeses, taking action and rolling the Dice
As Vince Faraday, a family man-turned-fugitive who gains superpowers via “The Cape,” David Lyons strikes a fine balance -- emotionally wrecked father and husband versus adrenaline-rushed rookie hero.
Intense for sure. But on tonight’s episode of the new NBC action hit, things are about to get even crazier, with Mena Suvari guesting as Tracey Jerrod, AKA Dice, a young savant who's inspired a device that may bring down all of Palm City. But that's not the worst of it. An emotional wreck herself, the woman is out for vengeance, and her target is Vince’s mortal enemy Chess, aka evil Ark Corporation billionaire Peter Fleming (James Frain, “True Blood”). So it's up to Lyon’s caped-crusader to save the day, but in doing so, he must save the very same man who banished him to a life of darkness.
“It's a very jagged pill for him to swallow. The same man that has relegated him to living his life underground is the same man that he has to save from this woman who dies,” Lyons told press during a conference call this morning. “Through the help of [Summer Glau’s character] Orwell, Dice allows him to understand the importance of keeping the one man that can prove he's innocent alive, and it kind of stems from there. Place in the middle of that is Vince Faraday, who's constantly trying to keep her at bay from the one man he despises so much.”
Unstable at best, Dice brought out tensions yet unseen on the show – and Lyons promises some trippy moments. “Dice has the ability to essentially predict the future by reading the environment,” Lyons explained. “Her perception and intelligence is so vast that she can sense things before they happen.”
Working with actress Mena Suvari, whom you’ll remember from “American Beauty” and “Six Feet Under,” was refreshing for Lyons. “She adds so much. The way she plays it is so subtle and nuanced,” he said. “And suddenly her relationship with [bad guy] Peter Fleming blossoms into a pseudo-sexual kind of relationship between two very aggressive individuals who are after the same thing.”
Well, that brings a whole new level of tension to the show, doesn’t it? But Lyons ensured us that audiences will still see plenty of that, uh, other kind of action. “It's been incredibly physically demanding, more so than any other role [I’ve done],” said Lyons, who’s most memorable gig to date was playing that naked guy opposite Julia Roberts in “Eat Pray Love.” Yeah, you know the one. “Prior to starting the pilot, I started working with a choreography crew. Every moment I had, I was down there working on the bags. Now, in addition to just running around and sort of fighting, there is quite a process that I'm still quite entrenched in. I’m still learning my limitations, in addition to Vince Faraday's.”
If the show keeps amping up the adrenaline, we’d say he’s in for a wild ride.
Catch "The Cape," starring David Lyons, tonight at 9 p.m. NBC.
After a brief hiatus, the CW hit is back with vamps, witches, werewolves and other sexy, creepy creatures
And the back nine are picking up right where we left off -- with an invasion of beastly, bloodsucker-biting wolves taking on the brothers Salvatore and their pals. But in the episode that repeats tonight, we also get to see some new developments -- namely, Damon's very human angst. Yup, Damon's vamp-with-benefits pal Rose is suffering from a wolf bite, and as much as he tries to find the cure, she's dust. So tune in tonight and see the badass bloodsucker shed a tear (just one, of course) for all that he's lost. Luckily, as the image above suggests, he's found in Elena a shoulder to cry on.
The new episode sets up some interesting tension for the rest of the season: more Damon/Elena/Stefan triangle, but also an interesting Matt/Caroline/Tyler triangle. And there's only one human in each of those triangles, which is what makes it so fun.
Have you caught "VD"? Or are you holding out for more "True Blood"?