The comedian opens up about Katy Perry and breastfeeding
Ellen DeGeneres was tactful when she asked about Brands divorce, referring to the "big change" since his last visit and asking how he was doing.
"All right, thank you," Brand said. "Because me and Katy got divorced. I still- I love her as a human being. But sometimes when you’re in a relationship I suppose it doesn’t work out, does it? But that doesn’t mean I regret it or anything. I was very happy to be married with her. She’s such a beautiful human being and I just have only love and positivity for her."
DeGeneres and her audience were impressed with his outlook. "Yes, because you can’t absolutely make everything the way you want it to be in life, eh?" Brand conceded. "Sometimes thing are just different and then you to just move with that and try and remain in contact with what is beautiful about yourself and each other with any situation."
"Just remain beautiful," he concluded. "That is still a person I still consider to be beautiful and I have nothing but positivity for her."
DeGeneres also covered some current events with Brand, since that's what he'll be taking on with his late night FX series "Strangely Uplifting," premiering June 28. She wasn't quite as comfortable with that line of chatter. Not only did Brand's slant on the controversial Time magazine breastfeeding cover leave her speechless, but DeGeneres may even have been blushing.
"I'm trying to figure out what I can ask you now, because I can see where everything goes!" she stalled, before getting his take on "The Bachelor."
Check out the clip to see why she called it quits after hearing those two hot topics.
Brand also had fun reconnecting with DeGeneres' other guests, Sophia Grace and Rosie. Last time, he offered to babysit the singing sisters. It seems that offer remains on the table.
"While I’m looking after you have to behave yourselves," Brand teased. "Especially you [Sophia]. Me and you [Rosie] probably have to team up to control her. I don’t know how you put up with this."
The trio bonded over their Essex roots, and when Brand asked Sophia what was going on in her mind, it was pretty heady stuff.
"Pink!" she announced, leaving DeGeneres in hysterics.
"The Ellen Show" airs weekdays in syndication.
Goofy big-screen stoner duo gets animated for Adult Swim
Hint: It was all about location, location, location
Of all the strange reasons to cancel a television series, here's a contender for strangest: "CSI: Miami" reportedly met the ax because it's not set in New York.
According to this Zap2it report, CBS President Nina Tassler told press in New York on Wednesday morning that the decision to cancel either "CSI: Miami" or "CSI: New York" was "almost a jump ball."
When the slightly different budgets and rating concerns were factored in, Tassler said, "It was an indiscernible difference ... It was just a matter of looking at the schedule and what looked better."
According to the report, the reason David Caruso is once again out of a job is because CBS wanted a Big Apple-themed Friday night, featuring "CSI: New York" at 8 p.m. ET/PT, followed by "Made in Jersey" (a show about a Jersey-bred lawyer trying to make it Manhattan) at 9 p.m., and the New York City cop drama "Blue Bloods" at 10 p.m.
Had another CBS night featured two other Florida shows, perhaps the show could have been saved -- at least long enough to produce a proper season finale.
Apparently, the fact that most people still associate Caruso with his regrettable decision to leave "NYPD Blue" didn't count enough to fit the theme.
Network pits Tim Allen and Reba McEntire against 'Community' and 'Whitney'
The President on gay marriage, JPMorgan Chase, Kim Kardashian, more
With an election under foot, some hot topics came up during the sit down with the ladies of "The View," including, of course, his recent chance of stance on gay marriage. But Obama earned a huge reaction from the audience when he talked about his hopes for America.
"What I want to spend the next five years doing is recreating that America where if you work hard you can make it, regardless of where you come from, what you look like," Obama said in the clip above.
After a burst of applause, Obama pounced on the sentiments that America is declining and China is gaining on us.
"Let me tell you, I travel all around the world and everywhere you go, if you ask people 'Where would you want to be? What country [do] you admire? What cards would you like to have in your hand?' it’s what we’ve got," Obama insisted. "We’ve still got the finest workers in the world, the best universities in the world. We’ve the best scientists, the best entrepreneurs. We’ve got the best market system in the world.
"So we’ve got all the ingredients for success for the next 100, next 200 years, but what’s happened is that our politics breaks down. We’ve become more obsessed with winning the election than setting things up for the next generation, and if we can break through that I could not be more confident or more proud of this country and the direction we’re headed."
"It will happen," he added. "I believe it."When Barbara Walters brought up his recent change of stance on gay marriage, she questioned whether he'd fight to extend the rights of gay couples. As Walters pointed out, "They can’t file a joint income tax report; they don’t have social security that they can pass to each other."
"Keep in mind that on issues like social security, for example, a lot of this has to do with what’s called the Defense of Marriage Act, DOMA," Obama said. "It was passed, originally, when Hawaii started making noises about recognizing same sex marriage. The idea was we don’t want that drifting into the federal government. And this is part of the reason why my justice department has said to the courts, 'We don’t think the Defense of Marriage Act is constitutional.' This is something that, historically, had been determined at the state level and part of my believing, ultimately, that civil unions weren’t sufficient - and I’ve been a longtime supporter of civil unions for same sex couples - was partly because of the issue of social security benefits or other laws, state taxes, things like that.
"You know part of it was also just knowing friends and family – people that I’d gotten to know who had these wonderful relationships," he added. "They’d say to me, 'You know what? The words matter. So even though you’re a strong supporter of civil unions, somehow it still says we’re different.' And that particular set of conversations that I had is ultimately what led me to this conclusion."
Obama didn't go so far as to say he'd fight to repeal DOMA, but did say, "Congress is clearly on notice that I think it’s a bad idea."
The President also discussed the JPMorgan Chase debacle and was quizzed on pop culture. Obama can either name the Karadashian who was married for only 72 days or the controversial sex book that’s on millions of women’s bedside tables. Tune in to find out which one and see what else the President had to say.
"The View" airs weekdays on ABC.
Teaser debuts Meloni, resurrects Russell and foreshadows a vampire war
President Barack Obama to visit 'The View'
The biggest name on the daytime docket the week of May 14 is President Barack Obama. Stars from "What to Expect When You're Expecting," "Total Recall," "Rock of Ages," "Battleship,""Seeking a Friend at the End of the World," "Hit and Run," "Virginia" and “Mansome" will also turn out to promote their big screen efforts. From the small screen, watch for favorites from “Grey’s Anatomy," "Glee," "NCIS," "NCIS: Los Angeles," “Fairly Legal” and "Jesse Stone;" along with stars, contestants, castoffs and winners from "The Voice," “Survivor: One World,” "Real Housewives of New Jersey," "Real Housewives of Atlanta," “Celebrity Apprentice," "Mrs. Eastwood & Co." and “The Robertsons of Duck Dynasty.” Jimmy Kimmel, Reggie Bush, Sam Champion and Chris Harrison guest co-host Top Teacher Week on "Live! With Kelly," while "The View" calls in guest host Jaleel White. "The Talk" is in New York City to chat with locals like Howard Stern, Martha Stewart and Tom Selleck. Other notables coming to daytime include John Mayer, Betty White, Bill O'Reilly, Billy Bob Thornton, Serena Williams, Susan Lucci, Liza Minnelli, Andy Cohen, Jerry Springer and Portia de Rossi. Plus, don't miss performances from James McCartney, Norah Jones, Victoria Justice and "Step up Revolution."
"Today" and "GMA" have been mum on this week's line up, thus far. Check back later to see who's getting into their ongoing daytime rumble.
Bing: More about 'The Ellen Show' | 'GMA' | 'Today"
Schedules subject to change. Repeat notation provided when possible.
Mon: Andy Cohen; Rosie Perez; Grandmas Mary, Josie and Theresa; Guest co-host Niecy Nash
Tues: Jennifer Connelly
Wed: Behind the scenes at "Jeopardy!" Power Players Week
Thurs: Kim Zolciak, Serena Williams
Fri: Suzanne Somers
"The Ellen DeGeneres Show"
Mon: Kate Becksinale, Taylor Kitsch, winner of “The Voice”
Tues: Jennifer Lopez and Cameron Diaz, John Mayer; Victoria Justice performs
Wed: Steve Carell, Brooklyn Decker
Thurs: Russell Brand, Sophia Grace and Rosie; "Step Up Revolution" performs
Fri: Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard
"Live! With Kelly"
Top Teacher Week
Mon: Chris Colfer; the latest "American Idol" castoff performs; Guest co-host Jimmy Kimmel
Tue: LL Cool; James Morrison performs; Guest co-host Sam Champion
Wed: Billy Bob Thornton, Eli Manning; Guest co-host Chris Harrison
Thurs: TBD; Guest co-host Chris Harrison
Fri: Tom Selleck; Guest co-host Reggie Bush
"The Rachael Ray Show"
Mon: Guest co-host Dr. Phil
Tues: Jerry Springer, Bob Harper
Wed: Curtis Stone, Chandra Wilson; James McCartney performs
Thurs: Portia de Rossi, Ellen DeGeneres via satellite, Bobby Flay and Giada De Laurentiis
Fri: Bill O'Reilly; Norah Jones performs
Live from NYC
Mon: Martha Stewart, winner of “Survivor: One World”
Tues: Michael Weatherly, Liza Minnelli
Wed: Rachael Ray, Gayle King
Thurs: Howard Stern and Beth Ostrosky Stern
Fri: Tom Selleck
Mon: Jenna Ushkowitz, Marc Cherry, latest fired “Celebrity Apprentice” contestant
Tues: President Barack Obama
Wed: Arsenio Hall, Captain Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger
Thurs: Betty White, Susan Lucci
Fri: "Judge Judy" Sheindlin, Dina and Francesca Eastwood, Robin and Lucimarian Roberts; Guest co-host Jaleel White
"The Wendy Williams Show"
The 500th episode countdown continues
Mon: Mark McGrath, Joyful Drake, latest fired “Celebrity Apprentice” contestant
Tues: Tia Mowry, “The Robertsons of Duck Dynasty” cast
Wed: Kathy Wakile and Melissa Gorga, Sarah Shahi
Thurs: Chandra Wilson, Teresa Giudice
Fri: Celebrity Apprentice” finalists, Morgan Spurlock
In a heart-rending finale, Elena must finally choose between the brothers Salvatore
Okay, get ready for an AH-MAZ-ING tearjerker of a as season three "Vampire Diaries" finale, with love and loss and shocking turns.
Last week, the Klaus problem was finally resolved, at least temporarily, but Alaric was still out there, taking over the council, gearing up for a war on vampires. Plus, Elena’s life was linked to his, and all the action was apparently too much for, because she passed out – and had a horrible nosebleed.
- This week, Elena woke to an alternate reality, one in which she was still a peppy cheerleader, and Aunt Jenna and her mom were still alive. Of course, that was really all a dream. In real reality, Elena was in the hospital, and Jeremy was declared an idiot by the brothers Salvatore for bringing her there, turning her into “a sitting duck.” They insisted they get her out of there.
- Dr. Meredith Fell, meanwhile, got a visit from an angry Alaric, who said the council was revoking her license and that she needed to release Elena into his custody. But when he got to the room where Elena was supposed to be conked out, she was nowhere to be found.
- Caroline and Jeremy had brought her home, where she looked at her old cheer pictures and remembered a time before vampires ruled her thoughts and her life. Matt was there when she awoke again, and she apologized for stringing him along. “And now I’m making the same mistakes with Stefan and Damon,” she said. “I have to let one of them go.” Matt asked: “Which one?”
- Stefan showed up then, and shortly thereafter, tun, tun, tun…Elijah. He wanted the White Oak stake. And Klaus’s body. He promised they’d all go away then. “I will not revive Klaus within yours or even your children’s lifetimes,” Elijah said. “I leave it to you to make the decision whether to trust me or not.” Damon, on speakerphone, said, “No, no, no, no. Did I mention no?”
- At the bar, Jeremy ran into his mentor and guardian Alaric. He wanted Jeremy to reveal where they were keeping Klaus’s body. “With your help, I’ll get rid of all of the vampires. I’ll kill all of them, and when I die, they’ll all be gone.” Except, of course, that Alaric’s life was linked to Elena’s. He suggested Bonnie to another spell, delinking them. “Be on the right side of this, Jeremy.”
- Tyler and Caroline went to the Mayor’s mansion, where Tyler’s mom and Sheriff Forbes told them Alaric was after them. “You have to run. If you stay, you’ll end up dead. You don’t have a choice.” Tyler suggested they get out of there. “I will go anywhere with you,” she said. “But first I have to help my friends.” They planned to meet in two hours.
- Later, Jeremy called Alaric and said he knew where Klaus’s body was. “Thank you, Jeremy. You’re doing the right thing for your sister.” Jeremy agreed. But it turned out he was making the call in front of Elena, Stefan and Elijah. The plan was in motion.
- Damon and Bonnie went to go get Klaus’s body, which was stored in, of all things, a storage facility. “One beef-jerkified original.” Bonnie needed a minute alone to revel in Klaus totally powerless and petrified. “You should burn in hell, but if you die, so do my friends. So does my mother. What am I supposed to do about that?”
- In the midst of all the drama, Stefan and Elena took a few moments to ponder their situation. But there was hardly time to resolve anything. “We can talk later,” Elena said. That’s when he kissed her, a soul-searing smooch. “Just in case there is no later.”
- Damon waited for Rebecca to pick up Klaus’s coffin, but Alaric showed up instead. Damon suggested he go ahead and look for the body in a storage locker – one of the thousand.
- Matt and Elena mellowed out with tea at home, where he called her on the Salvatore dilemma. “Stefan saved my life,” she said. “After the accident, I felt like I didn’t know how to live anymore. Being with Stefan, somehow I figured it out. You should love the person who makes you glad that you’re alive.” The problem? “Damon. When I’m with him, he just consumes me. When I choose one, I’ll lose the other. And I don’t want to lose anyone else.”
- She recalled a moment when her mom advised on her breaking up with Matt, all those years ago. “You’re not going to lose him,” mom said. “You’re going to set him free.” She awoke with a start again, and found herself in Matt’s truck. Yup, he drugged her tea. “I’m getting you out of town, Elena,” he said. “It’s the only way to keep you safe.”
- Armed with the White Oak stake, Alaric methodically checked each storage unit. Rebecca came looking for Damon and the coffin. Uh oh. But Damon found her first, and shut her up, just in time. They got the coffin out the door just as Alaric pulled up the gate on that particular unit. But he was right behind them, and he was mad. He managed to open up the coffin and stab and already mostly-dead Klaus with the deadly stake. Klaus burst into flames as Rebecca flailed in tears, mourning her the real loss of her brother.
- Damon called Stefan and told him what happened. If they really were sired from Klaus’s bloodline, they had about an hour before they got sick. “Not enough time for our epic good-bye.” But Stefan didn’t mean their own good-byes, he meant Damon and Elena’s. That’s when Jeremy told Stefan that they’d kidnapped Elena.
- Matt told Elena about Klaus, and she wanted to head home. But Matt told her that Damon wasn’t with them. “I can keep driving to him,” he said, “or I can turn around. It’s your choice.” She called Damon immediately. “I’m sure we’ll have a laugh when we find out Klaus is a big, fat liar,” he said. So she told him. “Matt’s taking me home. Not just to Stefan. To Tyler. To Caroline.” She’d met Stefan first, she said, and that had made all the difference. Damon asked her: “If it was just down to him and me, and you had to make a choice, who got the good-bye, who would it be?” She didn't even have to think before she answered. “I love him, Damon,” Elena said. “No matter what I feel for you, I never un-fell for him. I care about you, Damon, which is why I have to let you go.”
- That, of course, is when Alaric showed up. He was viciously beating up Damon, who flashed back to his first moment with Elena, on the street, right before her parents’ accident. “Catherine,” he had said. “Sorry, you just really remind me of someone.” She told him it was creepy that he was out here by himself. He said the same to her. “It’s Mystic Falls,” she said. “Nothing bad ever happens here.” She lamented her relationship with Matt, the monotony. He told what she really wanted: “A love that consumes you, passion, and even a little danger.” That’s when her parents arrived. So he glamoured her, telling her to forget that they’d ever met. That they’d met first.
- Caroline met up with Tyler, and she told him about Klaus’s untimely demise. “You’re going to be fine, Caroline. I’m a lost cause, but you’re strong, and you have a beautiful life ahead of you.” That’s when it hit him, the pain, sharp and deadly. “Get out of here,” he told her. “I don’t want you to watch me die.” He was turning, and he was gone.
- Elijah and Rebecca pondered how they’d all survived – although Tyler died – and they knew the Salvatores and the others came from Klaus’s bloodlines. It didn’t make sense. How could this be? Rebecca called Stefan and said they were going after Alaric. And the only way to get rid of Alaric was Elena.
- Cut to: Bonnie and Tyler, together in the caves. “I must say you really did that spell brilliantly,” Tyler said. “I didn’t think you had it in you. The spirits won’t be happy with you.” Bonnie chafed. “The spirits don’t get to tell me what to do anymore. I did it because we wanted to.” A-ha!
- Matt and Elena were still in the truck, driving over that same bridge where she lost her parents, where she met Stefan that first time. They swerved to avoid hitting someone – Rebecca – on the road, ending up in the river. Elena flashed back to that accident with her parents. She remembered that night, as she tried to revive Matt, and there was Stefan, again, to the rescue. She insisted he take Matt first.
- Just as Alaric was about to stake Damon with the White Oak, he decided to fight back. And then Ric was consumed by pain, going grey like so many before him. “No, no, what’s happening,” Damon said. “You’re not dead, you’re not dead.” Because that would mean….
- Alaric showed up at the Gilbert house as Jeremy was on the phone leaving a voicemail for Matt, trying to get answers. Jeremy wasn’t pleased to see him. “Haven’t you done enough?” he said. But it was the real Alaric. “I just waned to say good-bye. I just wanted you to know. I will always look after you, Jeremy.” That’s when Jeremy realized Ric was a ghost. “If you’re dead, that means Elena…”
- At the hospital, Stefan sat by her body, mourning.
- Damon arrived, livid. Dr. Meredith Fell told him that when Elena was brought to the hospital that morning, things were way worse than she had told them. She’d had a cerebral hemorrhage, and she would have died. So Meredith helped her. With vampire blood.
- And that's when Elena came back to life. Undead.
Agh! How are we ever going to last till September for season four? I'm still mourning Alaric, but things are never dead for long in Mystic Falls, right? And the Tyler twist and Elena's undead-ness will definitely make for an interesting new season.
What did you think of the season three finale?