Five Cable Stations Who Should Start Showing Movies
With The Weather Channel including films amidst their programming, we're surprised these other networks don't follow suit
As you have probably gotten, well, wind of by now, the 24-hour cable meteorology hub will begin showing climate-controlled movies on Oct. 30 like "The Perfect Storm," "Misery" (which is a bit of a stretch) and "March of the Penguins" (likewise).
And while we could drum up a thunderous list of other possibilities for TWC to consider incorporating into their programming, we decided to (ehem) surf our digital-cable guide for some other networks we'd either like to see follow their lead, or are surprised haven't already.
THE FOOD NETWORK
The ingredients for the perfect tossed salad of cinema classics are endless on this beloved one-stop cooking-culture station. Just whip up a frothy helping of "Ratatouille," spice it up with a dash of "Julie & Julia" and then get ready for your "Big Night." Or you could merely air "Stand By Me" exclusively for the unforgettable binge-and-purge storytelling scene.
HOME SHOPPING NETWORK
With "Confessions of a Shopaholic" hitting the last few remaining Blockbuster stores just in time for our bounceback from the recession, you'd think HSN would go on an aisle-sweeping bonanza of all the consumption-related fodder that Hollywood has to offer. Or at least all the teen flicks with killer makeover montages.
GAME SHOW NETWORK
Hey, there's "Quiz Show." And "Quiz Show." And, um, "Quiz Show." And that scene in "Magnolia" where the whiz kid pisses himself on camera. Not to mention that pretty sweet Satanic game-show sequence in the oft-overlooked John Ritter not-quite-classic "Stay Tuned," in which, fittingly, creepy sex offender Jeffrey Jones portrayed the devil.
Just because New York Mayor Mike Bloomberg rides the subway every day and typically plays the proletariat card doesn't mean he's not a self-interested capitalist at heart. So why not dedicate a block of the daily schedule to movies that salute our greatest fictional quarter-counters, like Gordon Gekko, Ebenezer Scrooge, Eddie Felson, Daniel Plainview and, of course, the flesh-and-blood Statler and Waldorf, "Trading Places" penny-pinchers Randolph and Mortimer Duke?
C'mon, it's not like if they kept re-airing "An American Carol" on endless spin cycle, it would be any less redundant than the rest of their programming.
But more significantly, yes, if Rita pulls Dexter away from one more vigilante slaying in deference to taking some pre-adolescent's rectal temperature, I may start actually having to watch something safer and more predictably irritating like "Two and a Half Men."
Also, the only bad re-reun is one I've already seen, and sometimes I sit through those.
What's all this about News Channels? They're 24 hour news channels, b*tches! They have to have a target audience to appeal to, biased or not. I'm going to make a 24-hour news channel that only reports on/in smiley faces and day glow paisley and 'having nice days' It will feature an hour of adorable kittens followed by the hard hitting fact of adorable puppies! It will be the most watched network that will have ever existed, and EVERYONE will watch it compulsively!
So it has been written, so shall it be done!
You know what makes one appreciate TV shows? Not having cable.
Heck, for a little while, almost the only thing I watched was the local news.
Now I find myself watching Nightline with a somewhat confused interest.
Who cares what you think? The very premise of such a thing as thinking while watching TV is counterintuitive to its purpose. Like most forms of entertainment, it exists to allow an escape from whatever it is that you've been stewing in your skull. Add alcohol, and several years of my life have become uncomplicated half-dozings inbetween naps.
I'm not going to allege that the writer of this TV syndication article is somewhat of... well, I won't fall prey to such trappings. Let's just say I refuse to be led into my own hangup over this. Obviously, something traumatic happened to the writer at sometime in the 80's and therefore longs for the feel good era of the 70's, which brought me so much trauma, and in which it was safe to make racial stereotypes and hate the democrat President.
Take that Jimmy Carter! I'm Tying Yellow Ribbons round that Old Oak Tree for you Tony Orlando! Screw Dawn! I never want to see another new day begin, bringing forth the promise of something different and changing existence and losing the innocence of believing Disco wasn't about casual sex and drug usage, but about roller skates and 'having a nice day" How dare anyone disparage the era of smiley faces, day glow paisley, and giant daisies! How dare they say disco is dead! You cannot kill what was never alive! Michael Jackson, Michael Jackson, Michael Jackson!!!!!!! Whaaaaaaaaah....(uncontrolled weeping interrupted by hitching sobs.)
Gosh, I fell for the bait.
I despise you existence, and the further I can distance myself from you by finding a new escape I'm quite certain I will! Death! Death! Death, the more I seek you the farther you recede, until at last, that final moment nearly arrives and as you turn to face me, I run the other way finding newfound belief and rejuvenated hope.
Fox and MSNBC will give me about as much objective political insight as Home Shopping Network. And like HSN, they both produce only commercials for the two parties.
My condolences to Mr. Herzog for his closed brain. Fox news is not conservative - just shows BOTH sides, which liberals are unable to debate.
Now, Mr. Herzog, check the ratings - sometimes Fox even beats Katie!
wookdog, I couldn't agree with you more except you give Mr. Herzog credit for being half-witted. I would join you in insulting MSNBC but I'd hate to offend both of their viewers.
Some of these simple minded dolts don't seem to understand that Fox does news programs which provides both sides of the issues and they have OPINION shows such as Sean Hannity, Glenn Beck, etc. that are just that, opinion shows. Where was MSNBC and CNN on the ACORN stories, Van Jones, coverage of the town hall meetings and where has the rest of the media been in regard to the idea of any White House actually trying to silence a news agency because they ask the tough questions of this administration. You get coverage you don't like, you go debate the issues on that network you don't go running around crying about it. They are as inept at PR as they are at making decisions. I can't wait to vote against these schmucks.
Kenny Herzog, you're a half-witted jackass...
I'll be the first to admit that Fox is more conservative than any of the other stations. But at least I know the difference between them all and my biases against the other channels are not completely based on my political or social beliefs.
Do you really want to discuss the possibilities of different programming on Fox News because what they have is "redundant"? Methinks that someone is playing a bias towards, hmmm, I don't know- MSNBC?!?! Do you really want to compare Fox News to the rest of the cable news channels including the one that gives you your paycheck? First, let me explain that I check the other channels so that I can get a different perspective. So all of this other stuff below, is the word.
When Michael Jackson died all CNN did was talk about him and his family. Seriously, that was ALL they did, even when there was real news happening. When Headline News isn't talking about only headlines they almost have an alternate programming guide and have on... Nancy Grace?! How is Nancy Grace "news"? All those programs are just gossip shows with a splash of legal talk.
Last but not least, let's discuss MSNBC. As you probably know, Fox News has been in the news because the White House has suddenly decided they weren't fit to be a news channel and they're just "opinion". Well, let me congradulate you, Kenny Herzog, because at least you haven't made a comment that was dummer than what came from the White House.
Once again, seriously? MSNBC is just as, if not more opinionated than Fox News. Also, Fox News actually has hosts that are not just republicans or conservatives. They also have democrats, liberals, and constitutionalists hosts and guests. Unlike Fox News, that has a few people with different views, MSNBC is all about the democrat or liberal agenda. And they are probably the worst news organization when it comes to sucking up to the President, any of his cronies, or any belief that is other than the democrat agenda. Even when MSNBC has guests that are there to purportedly provide a republican or conservative point of view, all they do is bash "their" political party and its ideas. So let's not label certain news channels as "redundant" when in fact they can all be called "redundant".