Five Talkin': Embarrassing Celebrity Interviews

It's a rare occasion when sports transcends its usual audience and becomes subject for mainstream topical conversation. There was that time in the 5th grade when you made that shot against that guy, but apart from that, it's been mostly dull echoes and faded moments of self-contained glory. Steroids, however, is a perennial exception. And why not? It's yet another issue that allows people to take a moral stance and feel superior in their opinions to other human beings. Which is, of course, our truly favorite national pastime.

And so Mark McGwire mania has injected the nation. The disgraced, former superstar MLB slugger no doubt believed he was absolving himself with by releasing an AP statement yesterday and granting a subsequent, live interview with Bob Costas, who's kind of like the Katie Couric and Barbara Walters of sports journalism rolled into one adorably hair-dyed package. Instead, he wound up striking out with nearly all viewers and ensuring he will be hounded by the shadows of January 11, 2010 long into his upcoming tenure as the St. Louis Cardinals hitting coach.

Don't fret though, you weirdly neck-scarred, gray-goateed old retiree. There have been countless public figures in recent years who have fared as bad, or worse, than you in the interview chair. Not many, but some. Here, including your own instantly notorious moment of humiliation, is a small sampling:

MARK MCGWIRE ON MLB NETWORK

What a bizarre 60 minutes. At times genuine and sympathetic, and in equal measures pathetically delusional and downright ignorant, McGwire should be left alone after making himself so vulnerable in front of millions. But then again, he also shouldn't have abused his privilege as a highly paid and heavily awarded athlete with several years of cowardly silence.


RICHARD NIXON AND DAVID FROST

This may have been a Water-shed piece of broadcast journalism, but one has to wonder: Did it also give way to the current belief that anyone who happens to be a host on a television show where people talk to each other is qualified enough to interview some of the world's most influential homosapiens? (Depending on your ideological perspective, this could arguably encompass anyone from Billy Bush to Bill Maher.)


SARAH PALIN AND KATIE COURIC

As discussed here yesterday, the former almost-VP will be a recurring figure on FOX News for years to come as a political analyst. Watch this clip and then read that sentence again.


DANNY DEVITO ON "THE VIEW"

Actually, when seated next to screaming yenta Joy Behar, an intoxicated DeVito comes off comparatively grounded.


TOM CRUISE ON "OPRAH"
Ah, I too remember the excitement of first programming a woman half my age to pretend she's marrying me out of love so I can populate the world with tabloid-ready babies who's names rhyme with curry. I'm awesome.