TBS: Total Baseball Spoilers

Photo courtesy of NESN

Nowadays, every network needs a few-word tagline that speaks presumptuous volumes about their prime time schedule. TNT knows drama, HBO isn't just TV (it's actually a magic bean full of hopes and dreams), USA welcomes characters and TBS is, of course, very funny.

Then man, isn't it ironic that their coverage of the 2009 Major League Baseball League Division Series (and, unfortunately, the impending National League Championship Series) is so utterly lifeless.

Save occasional color commentary from ex-Met-turned-author/analyst Ron Darling, the TBS postseason broadcast booth is about as riveting and insightful as a fortune-telling session with a lobotomized gypsy. The play-by-play of Chip Caray makes you yearn for the oft-satirized, boozy antics of his late grandfather Harry, and the in-game production has somehow managed to obscure the natural drama that gets worked up amidst the sold-out throngs in cacophonous hornets nests like Minneapolis' Metrodome.

Now that the American League Championship series between the Yankees and Angles is slated to move a couple notches down the dial, I can't remember being this excited for new FOX programming since "The Critic" moved over from ABC almost 15 years ago.

But hey, apparently TBS does know funny, because at least we get former Oakland A's great Dennis Eckersley's impeccable porn moustache (pitcured above) during the post-game studio breakdowns.