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Charlie Sheen lances Armstrong

'Anger Management' star calls out disgraced cyclist on 'Tonight Show'

By Corey Levitan Jan 31, 2013 10:55AM

As if things weren't bad enough for Lance Armstrong, the defamed cycling champ found himself Sheened on Wednesday's "Tonight Show With Jay Leno." When asked for his opinion, guest Charlie Sheen called Armstrong "kind of a douche."


Bing: More about Charlie Sheen | Lance Armstrong

"Wow, I didn't just say that, did I?" the star of the show called "Anger Management" immediately followed up. Then Sheen apologized to Armstrong, and Leno told him not to. (Because Leno genuinely cares about Sheen and the implications of his rants, not his own late-night ratings, of course.)

Here's the clip:

Armstrong never shared a Hollywood set with Sheen -- the usual prerequisite for getting Sheened. Sheen explained that this Sheening wasn't based on Armstrong's dope habit, either. That would be hypocritical. (Leaving aside even the obvious implications, Sheen admitted to Leno doing steroids on the set of the movie "Major League," which brought his fastball from 75 to 84 mph but put him in "a bad mood.")


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No, Sheen merely had a personal run-in eight years ago, approaching Armstrong as he chatted to someone Sheen thinks was probably Armstrong's former lover, Sheryl Crow. This is how Sheen recalled the encounter:

"I said, 'Hi, Mr. Armstrong, I'm Charlie Sheen. I just want to say hello.' He looks at me. He's like, 'That's nice.'"

Sheen remembers responding with something like: "Sorry to bother you, Captain Bitchin'. Go get a paper route, dude!"

If Armstrong were "a better guy," Sheen added, "he'd be forgiven a lot faster and a lot easier -- kind of like me."

Have you forgiven Charlie? Will you ever forgive Lance? And, most importantly, does it take a douche to know a douche?

"The Tonight Show With Jay Leno" airs weeknights at 11:35 p.m. ET/PT on NBC.

Feb 25, 2013 7:39PM

What all of this comes up to is that if Lance Armstrong was a sweet guy who spoke kindly to every person in the world, then he could be forgiven any sin.  However, since he's not been blessed with a charming personality then we should hang him high and throw javelins at his body.


Charley, who seems to be a charmer, has to pay nothing in the public eye for being a doper, a drunk, a wife beater, and a host of other really rotten things.


Having most folks here on a jury trial would be frightening beyond belief.  It seems instead of facts, they would see if the person on trial smiled nice and maybe winked at the jury to forgive them of all possible ills.


Armstrong was tested for YEARS and nothing could be proven although his biker playmates couldn't say enough bad about him.  Has it occurred to anyone that these races were one of France's claims to fame, but for the years Armstrong rode, a Frenchman never won the title.  Could that cause a rift and maybe a few jealous, hard feelings? 


Just because Armstrong says everyone did it but others did not win does not prove others were not just as guilty.  Even with steroids used by all, one person will still come out the winner.  They will not all ride evenly through the streets.

Jan 31, 2013 9:22PM
You don't have to be a crack smoker to know, as Charlie does, 911 was an inside job.
Just google " What happened to Building 7"
Jan 31, 2013 6:17PM
I don't really think Sheen ever NEEDED to be forgiven. Getting wasted while partying with super-hot  women? It's exactly what his character on 'Two and a Half Men' did in just about every episode, and his fans loved it. You adore a TV character for doing something, but hate the actor who plays that character for doing the exact same thing? I don't think he ever actually lied about that, either, and he did it with money he earned honestly. Lance doped himself up to MAKE money, lied about it to his fans and to federal investigators, and slandered the agents who were investigating him. There really isn't a parallel that I can see between Charlie and Lance.
Jan 31, 2013 6:15PM
Charlie "look at me" Sheen is such a maroon! Lance screwed up, but look at all the good he has done! Charlie, the maroon, screwed up, but how much good has he done? What a maroon!
Jan 31, 2013 6:11PM
Charlie bumped into me as I was running a popular gentleman's club in Phoenix. As I turned to look at him he said, "can you put me somewhere where nobody will bother me?" I said "sure, pick any seat in the house."
Jan 31, 2013 6:10PM
Did Leno really just say in this interview that "steriods arent bad for you" there just illegal to take if youre an athlete? FYI steriods are bad for you, very bad, and are the root of many death related problems from taking them. 
Jan 31, 2013 5:38PM
PSS  Looks like a lot of you writers been taking you sum Franch lessons, especially them whut keeps using that thar word "douche".  Ya'll sho be edukatid, sho nuf!
Jan 31, 2013 5:31PM
PS:  I never recall hearing that Lance was a wife beater.  Yep, another one for good old Charlie!
Jan 31, 2013 5:04PM
what a fin idiot, one day when he wakes up he will be the one looking for forgiveness, the only difference is that we will grant it because we know he is unstable
Jan 31, 2013 5:01PM

I remember a story about the Sheen's - Charley and Emilio - and the people who worked with them had to say about those boy's. They are for real cool. They treat people well and are fun to be around.

At the time Martin had just gone to Jail for some thing and Emilio had a trunk of gun's He brought to the set  at some out door place they were making a movie. Emilio shared his toys and all had a good time PLINKING.

From what is coming out about Lance is He like to get Naked with his ONLY friend Matthew. I would rather have a  beer with the REAL people... Charley and  Emilio than be naked with the other two.

Jan 31, 2013 5:00PM

I like that one. The only way Lance Armstrong can make money with his bike now is delivering newspapers.

Jan 31, 2013 4:43PM

I represented a major corporation at a fundraiser in Austin not long after I saw him "win" his third

TdF, in person, in Paris, so I was excited to be able to meet him. I was stunned out how rude he was to me until he found out what size check I was handing him. From the looks of it there were obviously people there who didn't normally cough up $1000 or more for a seated dinner, just to be in the mere presence of their "hero." Sad to think that he treated them the same way.

Jan 31, 2013 4:32PM
At least Charlie never tried to cover up his true identity. Yeah, he's a douche too. But he's a likable douche.
Jan 31, 2013 4:21PM
Why do we care what celebrities think about other celebrities? I think Sheen, Armstrong and Leno all have shown really poor judgement...Leno for asking such a stupid, irrelevant question in the first place!
Jan 31, 2013 4:14PM
Jan 31, 2013 4:13PM

i love charlie! and yes he is a good actor! is he difficult? probably. but he is who he is. for those of you who can't deal, get over it. a good actor must be entertaining. and that he is!


by the by people ( anyone) should be able to say what they believe be it good ,bad or indifferent. enough of this politically correct stuff. sooo...phoney baloney . armstrong? some what of a prig i'm afraid. that's why most people won't forgive him. if one walks around with a holier than thou attitude and they themselves prove to be not so holy, ummmm they usually get what they deserve. the problem with an **** is that they don't know they are one.and when you tell them they passionately deny it!


but really, are either of the two that important that anyone cares?

Jan 31, 2013 4:07PM
I love Charlie.  Love Anger Management.  LOVED (past tense) Two and a Half Men.  Now, Jon Cryer's character Allen IS a douche.   a BIG DOUCHE.  And the Jake character just isn't cute and funny anymore.  Wait, I'm off subject.
Jan 31, 2013 3:55PM
I really could care less about Sheen commenting on anybody.  What I don't understand is why all those other cyclists got off without a mention.  Lance admitted that the abuse of which he was accused was wide spread among cyclists, ie, widespread meaning more than one, duh!  Yet, he was the only cyclist blacklisted, so to speak.  If those testers weren't able to find a problem with his urine during all those hundreds of tests isn't it just possible they erred on all those other cyclists too?  If All those goody-goody two shoes want to do the right thing, take back the 2nd and 3rd place finishers trophies and completely remove those seven years of racing from the record books.  Someone should certainly be chastised, damned and condemned and a good place to begin would be with all those incompetent so-called officials and testers.  How many drugs would any of you writers take to combat cancer even given after the fact?  As drunk and doped up as Sheen has been in recent years per our media sources i'm surprised he can remember his own name!
Jan 31, 2013 3:54PM

Agreed, both douches but at least Charlie owns it. Lance is a PAB (punk ### b****) who played a part as if he was an actor for years. Team Charlie on this one.

Jan 31, 2013 3:46PM

Look who's calling him  a douche!! People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones! I have no respect for him.

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